Gerard felt his cheeks flame an alarming shade of red, and he was certain that the poor guy sitting next to him could feel the heat coming off his face - or maybe the air conditioning had been cut off - that would explain why Gerard was suddenly uncomfortably hot in his leather jacket, because a wink that probably meant nothing shouldn't have him this flustered.

But Gerard was just trying to make excuses for his body's reaction to Frankie, and he knew it. No wonder he couldn't manage to speak to her if just a simple wink had him swaying on his stool, trying to fight back a wave of dizziness - fuck - he would probably pass out if Frankie so much as said "hi" to him.

Frankie probably hadn't even meant to wink specifically at him, and it was most likely intended for the entire crowd, because why the fuck would she wink at Gerard anyway? Gerard's brain was just deluded, and even though her eyes had been focused on the back of the club, that didn't mean she was looking specifically at Gerard - right?

But even if the gesture wasn't meant for him, it had sure seemed that way. Frankie's eyes had locked with his for one second, Gerard was sure of it, which meant that maybe Frankie had noticed his steady attendance at her performances after all.

He had been coming here for almost a year now, and even though her shows were typically pretty crowded, it wasn't unheard of to think that Gerard had caught her attention, at least - he would like to think that he had.

Gerard was noticeable, or his hair was to be more precise. He had dyed it an obnoxious red color once he moved out, just because he could, and he had always wanted to see how he looked with something besides the boring brown hair he had been born with.

Most of the people who attended Frankie's show had brown or black hair, with a sprinkling of blonde thrown in, so maybe Frankie had noticed the shock of red hiding in the back, maybe she really had been winking at Gerard.

But no, Gerard was being ridiculous, and he needed to stop making a big deal out of something that was in all actuality nothing before he had a brain aneurism trying to decipher a stupid wink.

Gerard couldn't get it out of his head though, and he wasn't ready to leave just yet, so he ordered another drink to kill some time as he pondered over whether tonight would be the perfect time to talk to Frankie or not.

Gerard ached to speak with her, and he had seen some men head backstage and congratulate the performers before, so there was nothing stopping Gerard from just telling Frankie how much he had loved her set, besides his social anxiety that is.

Gerard had this same argument with himself every week, trying to force his body to actually move and take the few steps that would led him over to where Frankie was, but he didn't, he never did. Gerard knew he would only end up making a fool of himself, and even though Frankie would probably be kind enough not to laugh in Gerard's face, he was sure she wouldn't appreciate having to deal with another bumbling fan that thought he actually had a chance with her.

Gerard allowed himself to imagine what would happen if he wasn't such an awkward loser, instead, he would be someone attractive and interesting, someone Frankie would actually want to spend time with. He would make his way over to Frankie's dressing room, maybe they could strike up a conversation and Frankie would be just as intrigued with Gerard as he was with her, maybe he could learn her real name, and they could go on a date...maybe they would kiss - or more...

Gerard groaned softly as his mind wandered, and his dick took notice of the dirty route his thoughts had taken. Blushing furiously, Gerard shifted slightly in his seat, trying to move his newfound erection out of the path of his zipper.

Gerard was beyond mortified at the fact that he had popped a boner just by thinking about Frankie, and even though the pictures in his head were definitely not PG, he wasn't a teenager anymore, and he thought these things only happened to horny adolescents that had just discovered the joys of jacking off.

But even though Gerard may be twenty-two years old, mentally he still felt like he was sixteen half of the time, and he had never really done all of the things teenagers got out of their systems during high school.

Gerard didn't have a normal childhood, not really. His parents were always pushing him to focus on his studies, forcing him to volunteer at the church, to be better, and not to bother himself with the frivolities other kids his age wasted their time with. Gerard knew his situation could be much worse, and at least he had parents, and they didn't beat him or anything, but fuck - they had not prepared him for life at all.

His parents had basically turned him into an adult before he ever had the chance to be a child, and now that Gerard was on his own, he was experiencing so many things that most people his age had already went through long ago.

Gerard didn't have many friends either, not in high school anyway, so he didn't have anyone to convince him to bunk off and actually have some fun once in a while, and Gerard had no idea that there was a whole world beyond his front door that he was missing out on until he had stepped into it without his parents to cloud his vision.

Teenage Gerard didn't have anyone to play video games with after school, and he never partied or drank when he was younger, hell - he hardly even jacked off. His parents were insanely strict, and even though he wasn't a stranger to touching himself, he had refrained more than most people his age while he still lived at home.

It wasn't like Gerard really had a choice; his parents were always hovering over him, making sure he did all of his homework before sending him to bed at nine 'o clock on the dot, and the fact that they stayed up much later than Gerard and his door didn't have a lock prevented him from rubbing one out most nights.

Gerard had never even had sex until he was nineteen, and his utter disappointment at the supposedly wonderful act had confused the fuck out of him. He had no idea that girls weren't his type at the time, and Gerard assumed that something was broken inside his head, that was the only explanation he could think of for why he didn't enjoy sex.

But now Gerard knew that he liked sex - a lot, as long as it involved two dicks, and he was free to touch himself whenever he pleased now that he lived alone, so there was no excuse for him to be sporting massive wood in the middle of a club just because Frankie had possibly winked at him.

This obsession with Frankie was getting out of control, and there was no way that Gerard was going to attempt to talk to Frankie while his dick was threatening to rip through his jeans - not that he would have been able to work up the guts to talk to her anyway, so he decided to just call it a night.

Gerard drained the remainder of his drink quickly, slapping a bill on the counter to pay his tab before exiting the bar and heading back toward his apartment. It was fucking freezing outside, and even though Gerard had brought a heavy coat, along with a beanie and a scarf, he was still a human icicle by the time he made it back to his small apartment.

And you would think that being borderline frozen would have diminished Gerard's boner slightly, but somehow, it was still going strong, and even though Gerard tried to think of something to make it go away, including everything from naked old grandmas to a pile of dead kittens, nothing was working.

By the time Gerard fell into bed, he was still fucking hard, and he knew he was going to have to do something about his problem if he wanted to fall asleep anytime soon, and he really needed to get some rest if he was going to be even semi-functioning at work tomorrow.

So Gerard closed his eyes, slipping his hand underneath the bedsheets slowly as his breathing speed up, his heart starting to beat faster in his chest. Masturbating was still exciting to Gerard, and even though he had been living on his own for almost four years now, Gerard always felt a delicious thrill when he did this to himself, as if he was doing something wicked instead of just touching his dick.

Gerard gasped slightly when his hand came in contact with his hard cock; his palm was still slightly cold from being outside, and the contrasting temperatures had Gerard groaning softly in pleasure.

As Gerard began to move his fist up and down, he tried his hardest not to think of Frankie, because she deserved better than some awkward weirdo jacking off to her like she was free internet porn, but Gerard was fighting a losing battle, and before he could stop himself, an image of Frankie had formed in his mind.

God this felt good, but Gerard wanted more...he wanted Frankie. Gerard hadn't even had the motivation to find a one night stand lately; no one excited Gerard anymore, and even though sex was sex, and Gerard shouldn't be picky, he was too caught up on Frankie to fake it with some random stranger.

Gerard pretended that it was her hand touching him, her palm wrapped around his dick, her fingers slowly sinking into his ass instead of his own, her beautiful voice whispering obscene compliments in his ear as she stroked him teasingly. Just the thought of that had Gerard moaning loudly, his cock twitching in his fist as he sped up his movements

But what he really wanted was for Frankie to fuck him, to reduce him to a quivering mess with her hands and her mouth before sinking into him slowly, making Gerard cry out and arch into her touch. He wanted her to pin him to the bed, to fuck him hard and fast until Gerard came so hard he couldn't see straight.

"Fuck -" Gerard hissed out as he pushed down onto the two fingers he had slipped inside himself, his hips jerking up into his fist with every downward motion of his hand.

Gerard realized that this was really fucked up, getting off to someone he didn't know that is - not masturbating, but he couldn't stop, and he would be lying if he said this was the first night he had touched himself with Frankie in mind.

It was too late to back out now though; Gerard's breath was already catching in his throat as the burning sensation in his stomach rose, and his body was strung so tightly he knew he was going to snap at any moment, and it was only seconds later before Gerard was coming hard, crying out hoarsely as he spurted all over his hand and stomach.

Gerard continued to work his cock until he was empty, whimpering softly as his body relaxed and he collapsed against the sheets wearily. Gerard immediately felt guilty afterward for thinking of Frankie in such a perverse way, but this was the only way he could have her, and he would take anything he could get, even if it was just his own hand coupled with his overactive imagination.

Once Gerard's brain had come back online, he cleaned up quickly before crawling under the sheets, drifting off with the sound of Frankie's voice still ringing in his ears faintly.

Look who's back already.

I'm just having too much fun with this story, seriously, I already have half of the next chapter written.

So if you liked this, maybe vote or comment - or both ;)

((((updating vibes))))

<3 starr