"Frank...I - I'm scared," Gerard admitted softly, pulling back against Frank's hand which was trying to tug him out the door, his eyes squinting due to the late afternoon sunlight that was spilling across the sky.

Gerard had actually been excited at the idea of going out dressed this way when Frank had suggested it, despite his misgivings, but now that it was happening, his terror was overwhelming him, and even though it sounded ridiculous, Gerard was convinced that all of his neighbors would start laughing at him the second he left the safety of his apartment, maybe they would even form a mob, with pitchforks, and torches, and everything, even though he highly doubted that most people had either of those items readily on hand, but whatever - Gerard was having a mini mental breakdown okay?

"Don't be afraid Gerard - here," Frank turned Gerard's chin so he was forced to look into Frank's eyes instead of at the horizon, "just look at me okay, don't pay attention to anything else," Frank pleaded, his expression silently begging Gerard to give this a chance.

"I - fuck, this is harder than I thought it would be," Gerard chuckled dryly, his eyes fluttering shut as he pulled his coat tighter around him, a dark green knee length one that he had acquired from Lindsey of course.

"You can do it honey, I know you can, just stay focused on me. You look fucking beautiful - okay?" Frank reassured Gerard, and this time, Gerard allowed Frank to gently tug him over the threshold and into the outside world, even though he still wasn't convinced that this was a good idea.

"Okay, I can do this," Gerard repeated Frank's words back to himself, tightening his hold on Frank's hand as they exited the apartment complex, Gerard's knees shaking underneath him the entire time.

As they headed down the street toward the cafe, which according to Frank was only a few blocks away, Gerard was just waiting for someone to say something, to scoff in disgust, to throw some sort of slur his way. His eyes were constantly roving over the crowd, searching for any signs of shock or distaste, but Frank instantly picked up on his panicked behavior, stopping their forward motion in an attempt to gain Gerard's full attention, but he was still very aware of the plethora of people surrounding him.

"Hey, did you already forget what I told you?" Frank asked, one of his eyebrows rising up slightly in a manner that Gerard always found adorable.

"Uh - what?" Gerard stammered out, because he honestly hadn't been listening to what Frank had said, he had been distracted by the man who seemed to be sending Gerard dirty glares from across the street.

"I want you to look at me okay, just at me. Don't look ahead, don't look around, I'll make sure you don't run into anything, but you have to stop searching for a negative reaction. Yes - some people might judge you, but they are assholes, and they don't matter." Frank's voice was filled with passion, and Gerard suddenly realized that Frank had probably been teased and ridiculed for wearing women's clothing numerous times, but he didn't let that bother him, so Gerard shouldn't either - if only that was as easy to do as it sounded.

"I'm trying Frank, I'm sorry," Gerard apologized, his eyes dropping to stare down at his shoes, tears forming behind his closed lids, a few being stolen away by gravity to land with a silent plop onto the grey sidewalk.

Gerard wasn't entirely sure why he was about to cry, because nothing had even happened yet, so he should be ecstatic that he had managed to leave the house in clothing he felt comfortable in, but this was such a big step for him all at once, and the overwhelming emotions were taking their toll on Gerard already.

"Hey - oh god Gerard, don't cry, please?" Frank gasped, his arms instantly coming around Gerard to encircle him in a soft embrace. "I'm the one who's sorry, I shouldn't have pushed you to come out before you were ready. If you want, we can go back to your place okay?"

Gerard considered Frank's offer as a shudder wracked his body, because a large portion of Gerard wanted nothing more than to be back in his apartment, curled up on the couch with a crappy film playing in the background, but there was a small flame in Gerard's chest that had sparked to life when he had walked out his front door, and Gerard knew it would die if he gave up now. It would become smothered underneath his insecurities, and rekindling it would be a nearly impossible task if Gerard backed out of something every time he was afraid.

"No - it's okay, I'm okay, I want to keep going," Gerard decided, and even though his voice quivered as he spoke, the urge to break down in sobs was receding, and Gerard wasn't going to back out now, not when nothing negative had occurred.

"Are you sure, I don't want to force you into this," Frank asked warily, his thumb moving up to wipe away the last remnant of tears from Gerard's face gently.

"Yeah, just - just keep holding my hand?" Gerard questioned, because Frank's touch always seemed to calm him, and if he focused on that, maybe he could stop panicking every time someone walked by them.

"I'll do better than that," Frank grinned, wrapping one arm around Gerard's waist before continuing in the direction of the cafe.

Gerard leaned into Frank's side as they walked, never letting his eyes wander away from Frank, even though this caused him to stumble on a few occasions, but it was worth it to avoid seeing whatever was going on around him. Frank talked animatedly the entire way, keeping Gerard distracted with a series of random topics which quickly had Gerard giggling into his sleeve, all of his earlier nerves swept away for the time being.

The further they went, the more the outside world seemed to fade away; all of the people sharing the sidewalk with them no longer registered in Gerard's mind, it was just him and Frank. Gerard found that Frank's advice had been right once again, and this whole ordeal had gotten much easier as soon as he stopped searching for the hate that he was expecting other people to send his way.

They made it to the cafe without incident, and even though Gerard couldn't resist looking around when he arrived, he wasn't met with hostile stares or muttered remarks about his appearance, even the hostess didn't bat an eye when she led them to their table, causing Gerard to emit a heavy sigh of relief once she had walked away.

"I'm so proud of you Gerard, you are doing so well," Frank gushed, his eyes sparkling as they peered at Gerard over his menu.

"Thanks, I'm really surprised that no one has said anything yet."

"I told you they wouldn't, and seriously, even if they do, it will probably be a compliment, I still can't get over how fucking good you look," Frank smiled, and fuck - Gerard felt his skin sizzle with the intensity of his blush, because the look Frank was giving him was unlike anything he had ever experienced before; it had Gerard feeling precious, adored even, and the fact that it was Frank staring at him that way made everything one hundred times better.

Gerard opened his mouth, trying to come up with a response that wouldn't embarrass him, because for some reason, Gerard had the irrational urge to confess his affections for Frank right then and there. Friends didn't look at friends like that - right, and if Frank truly thought all of those things about him, then maybe he did return Gerard's feelings, but just then, their waitress walked up, breaking the spell that Gerard and Frank had been caught in, snapping the two back into reality with a suddenness that had Gerard reeling inside.

"Hi you guys, my name is Hayley, and I'm going to be your server today, can I get you anything to drink?"

"We will both take a coffee," Frank answered, and Gerard shot him a grateful smile for saving him from having to speak just yet, because Gerard may look like a girl right now, but his voice didn't sound like one, even though it was higher pitched than most men's.

"Great, I will be right back with those." Hayley was about to leave their table when she suddenly spun back around, facing Gerard instead of Frank this time. Gerard instantly began shaking, because he could only assume that she had noticed that he was a man, doing his best to brace himself for whatever hurtful words were about to fly out of her mouth, but what she said next completely caught him off guard.

"Can I ask you where you got your top? It's so freaking cute."

"Oh - uh, my friend gave it to me...I don't know where she got it from," Gerard answered softly.

"Aw that's too bad, I would kill to have one - actually, your whole outfit is adorable, and you pull it off so well. If you ever find out where you friend shops, you should totally come back here and let me know," Hayley smiled genuinely.

"Yeah, sure, and um - thank you for the compliment." Gerard managed to speak at a relatively normal volume this time, his cheeks dusted a slight rose color because of Hayley's kind words.

"Okay, I'll go get those coffees now," Hayley giggled, heading back into the kitchen with a spring in her step.

"Frank - she didn't care, she was so nice, I can't believe it," Gerard began babbling as soon as Hayley was out of earshot, his shock over escaping judgment bringing a rush of excitement flowing throughout his veins, leaving a heady feeling of relief in its wake.

"See - what did I say, you are gorgeous honey," Frank grinned widely, his hand crossing the table to link with Gerard's as he spoke.

And even though Gerard thought that gorgeous might be a bit of an over-exaggeration, he didn't argue with Frank's words, because Gerard did feel pretty damn good right now, and maybe over time, Gerard would be able to see what Frank did.

~~~

Dinner passed in a haze of amazing food, even better coffee, and not one negative incident, much to Gerard's surprise. Gerard even received a few more complements, and by the end of the evening, Gerard was able to walk home with his head held high and his spine straight as an arrow.

"I think I'm okay now Frank if you want to let go of me." Gerard motioned to Frank's arm that he had instantly wrapped around Gerard as soon as they had exited the restaurant, because even though Gerard never wanted Frank to stop touching him, he was feeling confident enough not to need the physical contact now, and he didn't want to force Frank to keep this facade up if he didn't want to.

"Nope, you are my girlfriend remember, and I am your gallant boyfriend who is escorting you home," Frank giggled happily, his hold around Gerard tightening a small fraction instead of falling away.

"Okay boyfriend," Gerard answered in a hushed voice, his body tingling slightly when he called Frank that, even though this was all pretend, and Gerard needed to remember that before he lost himself in a fantasy world.

All too soon, they reached Gerard's front door, even though Gerard had been walking as slowly as he possibly could to try and prolong this evening, but that stupid saying proved true, and apparently time really did fly when you were having fun, which just seemed entirely unfair to Gerard, and if he had a say in things, it would work the opposite way.

"Well...I should probably head home so you can get some sleep," Frank sighed out, but he didn't remove his arm from Gerard's waist, and Gerard was perfectly okay with that.

And even though Gerard knew Frank was right, and it was already late, and he had fucking work in the morning, he didn't want Frank to leave just yet, and he had to bite back a plea for Frank to stay with him for a little bit longer, because Gerard didn't want to come off as clingy - at least, not any more than he already did, and he had already taken up a huge chunk of Frank's evening.

"Yeah...I guess so, and Frank - thank you for tonight. I never thought I would be brave enough to go out in public like this, but because of you, I did, and fuck - it means so much to me that you helped me through this," Gerard murmured, turning slightly so he could look into Frank's eyes as he spoke.

"Of course Gerard, I love being there for you, and I'm so glad that you trusted me enough to take the plunge. I know how hard that is, but it gets easier every time, and I will be there with you every step of the way if you want." Frank's face was so close to Gerard that he could feel his hot breath warming his neck, the scent of coffee filling Gerard's nose as he inhaled deeply.

"Frank..." Gerard sighed, whatever he was about to say getting lost in the rush of happiness that was overwhelming him, almost bringing him to his knees with the intensity of it.

"Gerard," Frank spoke up after a moment of silence, his voice coming out strained and slightly lower than usual. "Can I - I just, fuck..." Frank shook his head suddenly, causing Gerard to shoot him a quizzical look, but before Gerard could ask what was wrong, Frank wrapped his other arm around him, pulling Gerard even closer to him in the process.

Frank didn't give Gerard a chance to react to his sudden display of affection, because he didn't stop there, and in the time it took Gerard to blink, Frank's lips found their way to his, his mouth pressing against Gerard's firmly in what was hands down the best kiss of Gerard's entire life.

So it only took sixteen chapters, but Frank and Gerard finally had their first real kiss ^_^

God this chapter made me so happy to write, I was literally sitting here grinning at 4am when I wrote this, even though I can't upload it right now because the wifi in this hotel room is absolute crap.

Btw I just wanted to say thank you guys for the huge response on this story, it already has 10k reads and almost 1.3 votes. I get so many notifications every time I upload a new chapter, and it makes me so happy - seriously, I am constantly checking my phone and smiling when I see them all.

((((frerard vibes))))

<3 starr