Gerard awoke to the sensation of thousands of knives being shoved into his skull all at once, or at least, that's what it felt like to him, because nothing else could produce this kind of agony besides the previously mentioned torture, but when Gerard forced his eyes open, which was a task in itself due to the sleep gunk clogging them, he didn't see a masked man assaulting him with sharp objects, and a precarious touch to his aching head proved that nothing was stabbing Gerard, he just had a killer headache.

That didn't make the pain go away though, actually - it was reaching the point where Gerard's stomach was rolling violently, and he had to choke back the bile that was currently rising in his throat, because Gerard didn't want to puke all over his carpet; that had happened before, and the clean-up was never pretty.

But when Gerard forced his eyelids to open a bit wider, he realized that it wasn't his familiar beige carpet staring back at him, this carpet was blue to be precise, and Gerard was pretty sure he would remember going out and changing his flooring sometime last night, even though he was having difficulty recalling quite a bit of the evening, which he could only assume was brought on by drinking too much, which also explained the horrendous headache he was currently fighting.

But Gerard had bigger problems than his missing memories right now, because he was in a strange house, a strange bed, and he needed to figure out where the fuck he was as soon as possible, and also where the bathroom was located, just in case he lost control of his stomach contents.

And when Gerard heaved himself out of whoever's bed he was in, probably looking like a newborn giraffe in the process, he began to recognize his surroundings, the poster covered walls and the black and white photographs could only belong to one person, and it didn't take more than a few seconds for the realization to sink in that Gerard had somehow ended up in Frank's apartment.

Gerard's first instinct was to glance down at himself, making sure that all of his clothing was intact, because waking up in a strange bed usually meant that something had happened in said bed besides sleeping, but Gerard wasn't naked, even though his jeans were missing, and he was wearing a different shirt than the one he had gone out in, and the fact that it was slightly too small led him to believe that it was Frank's, but he didn't feel freshly fucked - thank god for that, because as much as Gerard wanted Frank's dick in his ass, he would really rather be able to remember the event actually happening.

Just to be sure, Gerard glanced to the other side of the bed, and the unrumpled pillow and clean sheets led him to believe that he had slept alone last night, which then caused Gerard to question where Frank was right now, but more importantly, what the fuck had happened, and how Gerard had somehow ended up here.

The only concrete memory that Gerard could pull up was drinking at the bar after he left Frank to change into Frankie, and yes - he had consumed quite a bit of alcohol in a short period of time, but Gerard usually handled his liquor better than that, unless the bartender had been making his drinks especially strong, and Gerard didn't think that had been the case.

But oh - now Gerard remembered not leaving enough time to make himself something for dinner before he left to meet Frank at the club, which meant he had been drinking on an empty stomach, which was never a good idea, but Gerard had been so desperate to regain some sense of composure around Frank that he had gotten careless, and it was really no surprise that he had ended up absolutely trashed.

And a wasted Gerard usually equaled a stupid Gerard, and even more terrifying - he had been around Frank, who was the last person Gerard wanted to witness him acting like an idiot, but it looked like it was too late to prevent that from occurring, whatever that was had yet to be determined though.

Something had obviously happened last night, the fact that Gerard wasn't in his own home attested to that, but now he just had to remember exactly what had transpired, even though that was proving a bit more difficult than Gerard would like, his pounding temples were drowning out almost everything at the moment, but Gerard didn't want to get up and search for some Advil in case he disturbed Frank.

Closing his eyes in an attempt to help along the process of recalling his memories from last night, as well as to minimize the amount of sunlight reaching them, Gerard began shifting through the murky images that began to form, trying to piece together a coherent picture of his evening with Frank.

"Frankie!" Gerard squealed when he caught sight of his friend, all dolled up and gorgeous, completely ignoring the guy with the big forehead who had led him backstage, saying that Frank was decent once again.

"Do you like it?" Frank asked, executing a slow turn for Gerard's approval, and Gerard had nodded his head so hard, his neck was in danger of snapping at any moment.

"I love it - you looking so fucking amazing," Gerard gushed, his eyes raking over Frank's dress covered frame hungrily.

"All because of you, this dress is perfect, so thanks for your help picking it out," Frank smiled widely, his eyes sparkling under Gerard's unwavering attention. "So I'm up next, and I would let you come listen backstage, but it actually sounds worse there than in the audience, so if you want, you can go pick a seat, and I'll come find you afterwards okay?"

"Sounds good," Gerard agreed reluctantly, forcibly peeling his eyes away from Frank so he could make sure he didn't bump into anyone on his way back into the main room.

The next hour or so was still basically a blur to Gerard, but he did remember ordering even more drinks, making conversation with big forehead guy who seemed to be following Gerard for some reason - maybe Frankie had asked him to, or something. Gerard was pretty sure he said that he was a drag queen as well, and he had just finished his performance for the night, but he wanted to stick around to watch Frankie's, but maybe Gerard had just imagined that. Either way, Gerard had shared a few shots with him before they headed over to a table directly in the front just in time for the lights to dim and Frankie to take the stage.

Frankie's performance had been flawless - as always, made even better by the fact that she had actually sang this time, instead of lip synced, and even though Gerard had no idea what song she had actually covered, it didn't really matter, because he had gotten to hear her voice again, and really - once a week wasn't enough, but Gerard would take whatever he could get of it.

The next concrete memory Gerard could vividly recall was after the show; he had somehow ended up backstage again, maybe big forehead guy had led him there, or maybe he had found his way back on his own, but however it had happened, Gerard was in Frank's dressing room, watching him avidly as he removed the copious amounts of makeup from his face, changing back from Frankie into Frank.

And Gerard was drunk by this point - actually, more like full on wasted, and for some reason, he kept thinking about Frank's tweet, and Lindsey's words, and how he wanted to make sure that Frank knew he liked him, even though doing that in his inebriated state was probably the worst idea in the world, but whatever - Gerard was past the point of rational thinking by now.

"Hey Frankie..." Gerard slurred, his body leaning out of his seat at a precarious angle that was probably going to end up with him on the floor sooner or later.

"Hmm," Frank hummed, his eyes flickering over to Gerard, a concerned expression filling his hazel gaze.

"I saw your tweet...was it about me?" Gerard ended on a giggle, all the alcohol in his bloodstream making his body feel fuzzy and light.

"Uh...what do you mean?" Frank stammered out, his cheeks flaming an adorable shade of red before he turned back to the mirror determinedly.

"After our date - or dinner...was it a date Frank...I want it to be a date," Gerard babbled, his position shifting slightly, but he caught himself before he face planted unattractively.

"Uh yeah - it was about you, but can we talk about this another time...you had a bit to drink tonight, and I would rather wait to have this conversation when you are sober," Frank chuckled weakly, swiping the makeup remover pad over his face one last time before throwing it into the trash can.

"But I wanna talk about it now," Gerard pouted sullenly, crossing his arms together and sticking his bottom lip out in what he hoped was an irresistible puppy dog sort of way.

"Come on honey, you need to get into bed okay, let me take you home," Frank had insisted, pulling on his coat before handing Gerard his own garment.

"But I don't want to go home, I want to stay with you," Gerard whined, but he still let Frank tug his jacket over his shoulders, even though his arms didn't seem to want to fit in the sleeves correctly.

"I know, but you need to rest, you still have work in the morning - remember?"

"You are no fun," Gerard huffed, dragging his feet as Frank led him out into the hallway, waving to a few people as he went.

"You will thank me tomorrow," Frank promised, and Gerard nodded weakly, even though he didn't really agree with him at all, and he was nowhere near ready to let this night end just yet.

"Frank - I really want to kiss you," Gerard mumbled once they exited the back door, the freezing air shocking Gerard's numbed senses, but not enough to diminish his drunken state, and right now, kissing Frank seemed like a wonderful way to end the evening, and maybe it might even convince Frank to stay with him for a little bit longer instead of dropping him off at home.

"No you don't honey - you are just drunk," Frank sighed out, his hand coming up to steady Gerard when he stumbled heavily.

"No - I do, like...really badly," Gerard had insisted, his fingers clutching on to Frank's jacket in an attempt to keep himself upright, which brought their faces inches apart, and Gerard's urge to kiss Frank intensified until it reached an unbearable level.

"Gerard, stop -" Frank had tried to say, but Gerard didn't listen, and like the fucking idiot he was, he closed the small gap between them, pressing his lips to Frank's in a gentle kiss.

Gerard wished he could say their first kiss was magical, and that everything in the entire world had slowed down, and he felt fucking fireworks the second their lips connected, but Gerard didn't even remember what it felt like to have his mouth on Frank's, because only seconds later, he was pulling away rapidly, his stomach roiling wildly, and then he had thrown up, all over his and Frank's shoes like the pathetic drunk he was.

"Oh god..." Gerard whimpered softly, his hand coming up to shakily wipe the back of his mouth once he was finally finished emptying his stomach onto the sidewalk, but the embarrassment at what had just happened was threatening to cause him to be sick again.

Gerard expected Frank to leave him there, because honestly, he deserved that, but Frank didn't, of course he didn't, he was too nice for that; he didn't even mention Gerard's kiss, he simply hauled Gerard to his feet, ushering him into his car while whispering soothing words to him, and apparently he had taken Gerard back to his place, because the rest of the night was a blank slate in Gerard's mind, and he could only hope that he hadn't done anything else to make his current situation even worse.

Not that he could really do much more than he already had, unless he had puked on Frank again, but it didn't really matter, because Gerard had already fucked up - god - he had fucked up so badly there was no way he could ever fix this, and he was too scared to even try.

Gerard's stomach dropped into his feet when the painful realization hit him that he had ruined any chance he ever had of getting with Frank, and for one moment, Gerard thought he was going to be sick again, but thankfully, his stomach wasn't as sensitive as it had been last night, and he managed to keep whatever was left of his stomach contents down this time.

Gerard could barely believe his actions, but he also couldn't deny them - he had kissed Frank, and not only that, Frank had told him to stop, and he hadn't listened, that was like...kiss rape, or some shit, and Gerard felt like a disgusting excuse for a human being that couldn't take no for an answer.

Gerard should never have drunken so much, but he had, and it was too late to take it back now, so he had to live with the fact that he had pushed himself onto Frank, he had made a complete ass out of himself, and no amount of apologizing would ever make this any better.

So Gerard did what he always did when shit hit the fan - he ran, because that was the only thing he was good at, and there was nothing else to do at this point besides disappear from Frank's life forever, even though the thought of never seeing Frank again caused a physical pain to blossom in his chest, but Gerard needed to accept the consequences of what he had done, and there was no way Frank would want to continue being Gerard's friend after the debacle that was last night.

Tugging on his clothes and shoes quickly, which Gerard found folded neatly in a pile near the door, Gerard tiptoed into the living room, heading for the kitchen where he remembered Frank kept a small pad of paper and a pen. Frank was passed out on the couch, his small snores filling the otherwise silent room, and Gerard had to take a moment to gaze at him one final time, because after last night, Gerard would never be able to face Frank again.

Jotting down a short note, because Gerard was too much of a coward to wake Frank up and say this to him in person, Gerard sniffled softly to himself, the accumulation of his own stupidity and his hangover causing his eyes to water and the words he was scribbling onto the page to blur in front of his face.

Frank,

I'm so sorry for everything.

Don't worry, you will never have to see me again.

xoxoG

Exiting the apartment as quietly as he could, Gerard hurried down the street without a backward glance, tugging his coat closer around his body as soft flurries of snow began to fall, and Gerard pretended that the wetness that was streaking down his face was simply melted snowflakes, and not tears, even though that was the biggest lie in the entire world.

I have no idea where this came from, because I didn't plan this at all, but hey, at least I updated right?

It's 5am, and I really need to sleep, so maybe leave me some votes and comments so when I wake up I will have something to look forward to?

((((updating vibes))))

<3 starr