4: heart to heart
The sunlight filtered in through the only window in the room and right onto your face, waking you from your sleep. You sat up and looked around the room. For a moment, you forgot where exactly you were, but hearing Jamack's voice brought it all back to you.
"Oh, good, you're awake," he said as he walked into the room. "We need to keep moving before anyone finds us here."
You nodded before standing up and stretching. Your back popped several times, making you sigh in contentment. You sat back down to rummage through your bag and pulled out some granola bars, offering one to Jamack. "Here. Uh, in case you haven't eaten yet," you said quietly. Jamack hesitated for a moment, but took it anyway. He sat down on the couch and began to eat. An uncomfortable silence settled in the room.
"I'm sorry," you finally spoke up.
Jamack blinked, unsure of what to say. "Oh?" he paused. "...for?"
"For being so difficult I guess. For being stupid. You shouldn't have to put up with me," you muttered. "If I hadn't been so stupid, none of this would be happening in the first place."
Jamack quietly sighed. What was he supposed to say here? He didn't want to accidentally hit another sore spot. He didn't want to make the situation worse. "No, I shouldn't have gone through your stuff without asking," he slowly conceded. He glanced down at his hands in his lap and twiddled his thumbs. God, was apologizing supposed to be this awkward? "Look, I don't really get your whole--" he gestured vaguely "--situation, but I'm realizing that this might be...overwhelming, I guess. I don't know what the hell I'd do if I suddenly woke up in a completely different time period." He stopped there, not really sure where he was going with this. It didn't help that you were utterly silent and didn't even look at him.
You, however, were as unsure of this conversation as he was. I mean, what the fuck, man, you were talking to a giant frog! So much had happened in a short period of time, and your brain didn't know how to process it all. All you knew at the moment was that your anger had dissipated, and now you just felt...empty and sad. Was this better or worse? You weren't really sure. The only thing you were sure of was that if you wanted to survive here, you'd need to trust the frog.
...But did you want to survive?
A small part of you said yes, you have to. For Jules. Another part screamed at you to make it all stop. Make the hurt go away. A constant war raging inside your head.
You finally glanced up at Jamack, who was still awkwardly playing with his hands. Taking a deep, shaky breath, you decided to take a leap of faith.
"Jules."
Jamack blinked in surprise and looked up at you. "Huh?"
"Jules. Juliet. The girl in the drawings," you explained. "She was...she was really important to me." You turned to look out the window, finding it hard to meet Jamack's eyes.
"Oh," he managed out softly. "I'm, uh...I'm sorry." Fuck fuck fuck what was he supposed to say?? He'd wanted to get you to tell him what was going on, but now that that was happening, he had no idea what to do. Mod Frogs weren't taught how to properly deal with emotions! Thankfully, he didn't have to think of anything else as you continued on.
"She was with me, here, and I lost her," your voice broke a bit at the end, but you forced away any tears that threatened to spill. "I lost everything. So I..." you trailed off, not really wanting to go into that. "That's why you found me up there. That's why I was upset with you. I'm apologizing because you didn't even really do anything wrong. I'm just...being stupid." You brought your legs up to your chest, wrapped your arms around them, and rested your forehead on your knees. "You shouldn't have saved me. You don't deserve to deal with all the shit I've thrown at you."
Jamack was now at a complete loss for words. He stared at you, really realizing how small and sad and tired you were at the moment. There were no smart comments to make here. Now was not the time for that. He rose off the couch and kneeled down in front of you, slowly and carefully placing a hand on your shoulder. "I'm sorry," he spoke softly. "I don't...I don't know exactly what you're going through, but I know what it's like to lose everything you care about." You remained silent and still, so he continued. "I know some humans who might be able to help you."
You froze, processing this for a moment. You slowly lifted your head to look at him. "Humans? Like, real humans?" you asked. There were other humans around here? Why hadn't you run into any already? Thinking back on it, Jamack had mentioned something called a burrow when you'd first met. That seemed to have something to do with humans, at least. Now you kinda wished you'd spent more time learning from him instead of being pissy with him.
Jamack nodded, relieved to get some kind of positive reaction from you. "I don't know exactly where they are, but we can find them," he explained. "I'm sure they can help you way more than I ever could."
Humans. Other humans. Real, live humans. You'd been so caught up in the loss of the humans important to you that you'd almost completely glossed over the possibility that others existed. The revelation hit you like a sack of bricks. You weren't completely alone.
Jamack began to panic as tears filled your eyes. Did you not want to be with your own kind? Had he read this all wrong? But then he saw the small smile that grew on your face. "Okay," you told him. "I'd like that."
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