"Don't you dare, Solomon! Give me back the bacon!"

The toy car busted and I cried tears of joy before being sat on the airplane. I take out my laundry basket and sift through the internet, looking for some toilet paper.

"What's this!?" I yell at the doorknob. "I know I like lemonade but not before I try this cheap perfume."

I spray on the misty mist and bask in the sunshine at the smokey mountains. The biscuts are burning! I turn off the stove and throw it in the microwave for safe keeping.

I go upstairs to wash all the grease out of my hair. As soon as I leave the bathroom I can smell stinky feet. Oh no, my precious mushrooms are dead! How am I going to eat them now?!

I open the window and look down to find that they've escaped from a bag of garbage. My little friends are all dead on the sidewalk. A little girl with braids is holding onto a big brown bear with green paws. They're running away from an adult man in a black trenchcoat and sunglasses. Their faces are covered with dust.

I scream. No more mushroom time for my beloved mushrooms! But first, what should I do about the stranger? My stomach starts growling. What if he decides to murder me? My head starts spinning. He looks mean. He could have killed the baby mushroom!
No, he couldn't have! This is a new world!
Wait... the bear is still alive. It's standing up on its hind legs...and it's trying to grab something. Maybe I can use it as a hostage? Or maybe it's just a nice animal. I decide to take the chance!

before I can  stop myself, I jump out the window. I land on a dog. Its tongue wags happily and we walk towards the stranger. My knees buckle and his arms are around us before I hit the ground. We sit together in the dirt. He's warm. Very hot. Like the sun.
"Oh God," I murmur. "Please don't let my body get burned." His eyes meet mine for a moment and then he grabs a handful of grass and blows on it gently.
It smells good. I sniff his fingers. They feel so soft. Soft and nice. They're bigger than mine.

The end.