Hi so my name is Jess and since about grade 5 I have been suffering with self harm god it physically hurts to type that.

I have always been pretty hard on myself, if i made a mistake I would always feel awful or scold myself internally until I apologised it found a way to fix it, but as time went on it got a bit ok a lot worse.

Year 5 I had a teacher who made me just feel crap and like I couldn't do anything right. She constantly yelled at the class criticising every little thing we did, and if we didn't do it right she would scream at us. I guess that sort of mentality followed me home.

Around the beginning of year seven things started to get bad. I started yelling at myself for making tiny little mistakes and would often end up crying after it.

It all started with a jagged bit of tile I found in the garden when I felt crap about my self I would run to a little hidden bit of my yard and scratch at my self. It wasn't that sharp so the most I got were some little scratches that wouldn't have bleed at all. But by the beginning of year 8 that just wasn't good enough any more. I was digging around in my toiletries one day and I found a travelling razor on a stick and it was incredibly sharp a little cut here made deeper by the blade equals more blood equals more satisfaction.

I didn't tell anyone because i though they wouldn't care but now I know if I had just told someone my life would be a lot different now. This cutting went on for several months until my parents found out. I was shocked and embarrassed and then it sorta got leaked to my boyfriend who really helped me I started talking to people and although I am still not completely recovered I still get really pissed at myself I only have a few scars on my arms left to remind me of the horrible disease that took over my life.

If you are suffering please talk to someone and try to figure out other ways to work out your self frustration things will get better if you work at it. It might beat you down but make sure to give it one hell of a beating in return. I think this is a great cause and I hope our stories help people to tackle any crap their brain might be giving them.

Thanks

Jess

🐱🐯🐆🐅