"Shiklah!"

Wade didn't know where else to go. He didn't know who else to turn to. He burst through the door to their bedroom, barely paying attention to the handful of demons and monsters in bed with his wife, and made eye contact with the purple-skinned succubus at the center.

"Wade." She answered back simply, one hand on the head of the multi-limbed demon between her legs, eating her out like it was their last meal. Hawt.

It might've been a display that would have given Wade pause, or had him asking if he could join, but not today. He was on a mission and he was panicking .

"I need you to help me get into hell."

"I'm sure that's something you could manage yourself, husband . It's not that hard. "

"No, I - I think I made a big mistake. A huge one. Colossal mistake. And I need your help right now, PLEASE. I need to fix this before the body starts decomposing."

Shiklah paused, and raised an eyebrow. She must've detected the frantic note in his voice, or maybe it was the way he went straight to his closet, strapping weapons to his body like he were about to take on a whole army. She shooed the rest of her bed partners away, beckoning only for the demon currently pleasuring her to continue.

"Let me finish first."

Wade grunted, focused entirely on pulling out a fresh Deadpool costume and tossing his blood-soaked clothes (Peter's clothes) to the side. By the time he was strapping on the last of his weapons, Shiklah was redressed and standing next to him.

"Do I even want to know what happened?" she asked.

"Parker. Peter. You know, the guy I was being paid to," he made a gun motion.

She nodded, "Yes, the sleazy millionaire scum bag."

"Well, I found a human experimentation lab in his building,"

Shiklah's eyes flashed. Not so much because it was a human experimentation lab, but because of the "experimentation" part itself. She's lost a lot of subjects to humanity cutting open and "experimenting" on monsters and demons; she didn't like the word just as much as Wade did. It didn't help that Wade had ranted about Peter Parker to her on multiple occasions, and divulged all sorts of stories about crazy, rich white men who did terrible things.

"Do I need to reserve a special place in hell for his torture?" She grinned, all teeth, with a hardness in her voice that would've made a lesser man pee his pants. "I can get us front row seats. We haven't had a date night in a while."

"No, no!" Wade waved his hands. "Not that. Actually I - uh, I think there's been a mistake about him. A big one. And I thought the same as you, immediately, so I pumped him full of lead the moment I saw him. But I think something's wrong, and I need to get him back RIGHT NOW, it's super-duper important. Do you think you can find him?"

Shiklah frowned, but considered this, stroking to her chin in thought. "Perhaps. You already wanted me to reserve a spot in hell for him. He could've ended up there regardless of any special treatment."

"Ooh, baby please don't say that," Wade held his head, mentally trying to push back the voices. They haven't stopped yelling since he left Parker Industries. "I think I'm going to throw up if you say that. Question: how bad is hell? Is it really as terrible as people say? Its not, is it?"

"It's worse."

Wade made a noise of pain, like a dying animal, but Shiklah cut him off with a raised hand. "If he's truly as bad as you thought, he'll have ended up there anyway. I can check and see if he's arrived, and if he has then you don't need to worry this...newfound conscience of yours." It sounded as though the word tasted like vinegar in her mouth.

"If he's there, he –" Wade swallowed. If Peter was Spider-Man, and he did go hell, then that would mean all of his suspicions of Parker were true. Which meant they were true about Spider-Man. The thought made Wade sick to the stomach. "He – he can stay there if that's where he belongs. But I've got to see it for myself."

Do we WANT to see that though?

Personally, I'm not PRIVY to seeing Spider-Man getting his skin flayed.

Or maybe we ARE. We already shot him DEAD in the HEAD! What's a little more pain?

The guy did trick us into thinking he was cool. We let him fuck us. We fucked HIM. I think a little skin flaying is in order.

"We don't know that yet," Wade hissed, head snapping to the side as if her were talking to a tangible being. Shiklah didn't even blink.

"Then come along," she strode out the room. "Let's go see if your mistake was a mistake."

"Thanks baby, I owe you one."

She hummed, running a clawed finger down his chin, catching the fabric on her nails. "I think you'll owe me a lot more than that."

<><><><><><><>

Donned the proper attire for visiting hell, they walked along a dark, stony tunnel, surrounded by the ungodly sounds of shrieking. According to Shiklah, proper hell attire was a horned skull on his head, skull shoulder pads, bone jewelry, and a pair of matching swords strapped to either sides of his hips. Very grim, skeletal themed, he noticed.

Regardless of whether it made him look badass or not, he's too busy wringing his hands like a worried ninny, and peering into every room they pass, dreading to see Peter's face in the midst of all the cruel, bloody horror going on inside.

Shiklah led him to a dank, dimly lit room. Inside was a tall scraggly demon with skin pulled so tight over his frame every groove and notch in his bones was visible. He had a Sauron-like third eye in the middle of his forehead, and a pair of bejeweled spectacles perched on his nose.

He looked up from a notebook he was scribbling in as they entered, and immediately dropped it when his eyes fell on Shiklah. "M - my queen," he stammered, all three eyes widening, as he dropped to one knee. "How may I assist you?"

"I made a reservation for a soul's eternal torment in here," Shiklah said, and Wade's head whipped towards her, an indistinguishable, questioning noise jumping out of his throat. "You said he was most likely bad, so I went ahead and made the proper arrangements," she shrugged, waving off his flabbergasted expression. "It was just in case, don't look at me like that."

She turned back to the demon, "He was killed recently, his soul might've come here. Did it?"

Frantically, the torturer picked up his notebook and thumbed through the pages. "N-no ma'am, we've received no new souls by the name of 'Peter Parker' today."

"What about Spider-Man?" Wade asked, craning his neck to peek at the book.

The demon paused to think about it, and then went double time into skimming his notes. The longer the seconds ticked by, the more Wade felt like grabbing it from his spindly fingers to check himself. Nerves tingled in him like electricity. He felt like someone had put a bomb in his heart and he had minutes before it went off.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity of his own torture, the demon looked up. "No, there is no Spider-Man on the list. There is an arachnologist though, is that who you're looking for?"

Relief flooded Wade's system so quickly he almost dropped to his knees. He bent down, as if catching his breath, "Whoo," he breathed, "Okay. Okay. That proves it then, right? If he wasn't sent straight to hell, he's gotta be one of the good ones. That proves it."

Shiklah's hand fell on his shoulder. "It's not always that simple, love." There's an inquisitive look on her face that puts Wade on the spot. "This...Peter Parker, he's Spider-Man, right?"

"Uh..." Wade looked left, and then right, searching for a lie. "No?"

"He is. You killed Peter Parker, and you're asking for Spider-Man here. They're the same person."

He deflated, "Okay, yeah, he is. But you can't tell anyone. And you," he pointed to the demon, "you definitely can't tell anyone. It's very hush hush, so don't go spreading it to your little monster friends." The demon looked like he could care less that Peter Parker was Spider-man, he just looked happy to not be involved in any drama.

"You sure are awfully invested in him," Shiklah observed.

Wade tinkered with the swords, adjusting them around his hips, "I just don't like killing the wrong target, ya'know? It's bad for business."

"No," she sauntered closer, "This is something more. Don't think I haven't noticed you're little... crush on him." She grabbed him by one of the straps around his shoulder, tugging him closer to press her nose to his neck. "I can smell him on your skin," her eyes blackened, like a shark tasting blood. "He's more to you than a target."

"He's on my free pass list," Wade blurted. "You signed it. Spider-Man was my #5, you approved."

"But did you know that when you got with Peter Parker?"

"Uh....."

Shiklah snorted, drawing him even closer, "I don't care if you have other lovers, lover . You are well aware of my many sexual partners. As a succubus, it's my way of life."

"Yeah, but I," Wade's shoulders went up to his ears, "I didn't really mean to do anything with him. It kind of just...happened."

"I don't mind you taking another," she murmured, and the smell of her is intoxicating, it makes the edges of Wade's mind go fuzzy. Oh, sweet succubus magic. "Just talk to me first. Maybe you can bring him around sometime and we can show him a real good time."

Wade's legs almost buckled, "Oh hot honey sarsaparilla on a Saturday night," he wheezed. "That...yeah, that would be - wait. Wait, no it can't be. We can't have hot passionate threesome sex if one of them is dead!"

"Well," Shiklah tapped her chin, "Not necessarily."

"Necrophilia is not on the table," Wade waved a hand, "Not for this guy. I need him very much alive and breathing and with his brain not splattered all over the floor. If he's not here, then...then he's got to be somewhere else, right? He can't just disappear."

"I'm not sure," Shiklah shrugged, side-eying him. "You really do care for him, then. Don't you?"

Wade swallowed, unable to meet her eyes, so he dragged them across the blood-stained, stony floor. "Maybe..." he mumbled, not unlike a child admitting to a wrong-doing. "Just a little. It's complicated." He paused, and snorted, "The guy invented the word 'complicated'. I need to bring him back before anything else happens. Do you think you can do a little," Wade waggled his fingers, "Demon, monster something of the other magic? Please?"

"I don't know," Shiklah smiled, nipping at his ear, then his jaw, "how much can you beg?"

"As hot as this is babe, his body is literally decomposing in his apartment, as we speak."

Shiklah sighed, disappointed, and stepped back, " Fine . Where are we going?" 

Shiklah is 100% for an open relationship. As a succubus, I don't think she would honestly attach herself to ONE person, so...yeah, she's okay with Wade taking other lovers, so long as he's not trying to hide things from her.