1

i never would have believed that heaven existed
but seeing them made life brighter,
simply radiating with good, happy thoughts
i didn't want it to end because
i knew what would happen as soon as i
l e t t h e m g o
it didn't take long for everything to crash down
here she goes calling again, i hate it, oh my god
why me why me why me why me

2

i didn't go home that night
i had an idea in my head, it was stupid
go see what your family is up to
i told them what happened, an hour and a half
she never stops, and i wish she would, you know?
and they listen but i'm an outsider here
before, i knew where i was, who i was with, and i was happy
this was a bad idea, i think, but i don't leave
i should have left, but it was fun, in the moment

3

my sister's friend came back from the alley
it was explicit what happened
(the fact she asked me if i had tourettes
made me despise her, and then
being called retarded didn't help a tad)
and it felt as though i wasn't there again
there wasn't a moment i felt like i belonged
too bad, you ruined your own night
you were supposed to go out to talk to the cops
and you didn't because you were anxious

4

my sister screamed in my face, her voice
shambled my ears when she uttered the words
"you're just a pussy! you're not a man, you're a pussy!"
she held eye contact, and that made it all worse
she made sure that i heard her, that i knew what happened
how much she thought of me in that moment
how little i meant in the grand scheme of things
they just left me upstairs after they freaked out
and when someone checked on me, they just
made fun of me, what fucking luck i have, right?

5
going downstairs didn't help anything either
i should never have stayed, but it stays in my brain
remains, keeps festering, because every one was against me
my sister's friend never had any chill that night
and her voice echoes unfortunate things, so many insults
you're ugly, zach, you're retarded, zach, stop speaking, zach
you're never allowed to come back, zach
say it again, zach, make fun of me again, zach
go to sleep, just leave us alone, don't mess with our vibe
i hated every single moment, laying in the bed
where ketchup laid (the prank wasn't funny, i hate
everybody in the hood, just eliminate them all)
there isn't any reason why i should go back
sorry guys, but you make me want to move even more
just leave me alone next time, please
i just want to be invisible so i'm not made fun of