"good girl!" hongjoong exclaimed and giggled before he pet the golden retriever on her head and behind her ear, placing a kiss on her head as she smiled at him.

hongjoong didn't know exactly how he landed up at seonghwa's house-- but he somehow did. he sat on the floor of the male's living room, playing with his dog miso.

the sunset rays cast a serene glow against the comforting home the older male lived in. seonghwa gazed at the younger playing with his dog, smiling at his giggly self which he'd never seen before. his nose was scrunched up and his pearly white teeth shined as he basked in the sunlight through the window. fuck, he wanted to make this man his and he didn't even know if he liked men or not.

hongjoong only went to seonghwa's home because he wanted to meet miso-- he loved dogs. though, hongjoong could feel seonghwa's intense gaze piercing through his skin and it slightly overwhelmed him. his hand ran over the soft golden fur on miso's body, the golden retriever wagging her tail more at the touch. it was quite obvious that she was tired but she did not want to stop playing with hongjoong-- she seemed to love him.

seonghwa remained quiet as usual, his eyes on hongjoong, just admiring him and his dog. the younger man was so handsome and charming yet so adorable in ways seonghwa couldn't describe. it felt like his voice got stuck in his throat whenever he was asked about hongjoong, he never had the right words to describe his beauty. he was the typical guy one would call beautiful as such-- he had several piercings on his face and ears, along with tattoos littering his arms, yet seonghwa thought he was beautiful. not handsome, not hot, but beautiful. from the inside out.

"you seem to love dogs very much," the older male whispered, his eyes sparkling with an iridescent glow. they looked like little stars to hongjoong, little stars in his brown sugar coloured, boba-like eyes. hongjoong felt like he could get lost in them forever, and it would feel like a warm hug on a cold winter night.

"i do, they're so comforting. i used to have a dog when i was younger, he was similar to miso. i love her," he replied as he got up from the hard wood floor and sat his ass down on the cozy sofa-- miso soon following him and cuddling next to him, curled up into a ball.

"she's so full of love," the red head commented as he gently caressed her head. a small smile tugged upon his lips.

a silence.

hongjoong never knew what to say when there was a silence to break it, he was always awkward with it. he felt like the air became thicker by the minute, suffocating his thoughts and engulfing him whole. he knew seonghwa wanted to say something by seeing the way his mouth opened and closed, contemplating if he should say it or not.

"i love your smile," the older male complimented and hongjoong felt his cheeks heating up. it felt like the older man could see right through him and read him like an open book, could read his emotions like he was an open book. why was he so obvious? he shouldn't have even been feeling the way he did, yet he somehow always did. it was complicated.

"what made you wanna come over? other than miso, of course."

hongjoong turned away to look at the window, his ears turning a bright shade of red.

"i dont know, you make me feel comfortable. but i love miso very much too, so it was mainly her," he responded, fidgeting with the half broken nails on his fingers.

seonghwa's heart swelled at that, he didn't know he made hongjoong feel comfortable when he was with him and it made him happy.

"i'm glad."

the younger male shifted in his spot, unintentionally moving closer to seonghwa. the silence felt loud, and he couldn't ignore the tension lingering in the air. he tried to focus on miso yet all his mind could think of was seonghwa, it was cluttered. his heart was a pounding mess, he swore he could hear every beat echo through his ears.

"i like your t-shirt too, what is it made up of?" seonghwa asked as he gently moved closer; impossibly closer to the younger before he gently touched the hem of his soft shirt.

"i bought it from the thrift store. i got nice stuff from there."

another silence.

hongjoong's right hand moved to the centre of the small space left between them, his pinky finger grazing against seonghwa's. it sent sparks down hongjoong's spine, and he hadn't felt like this in years. his breath was caught in his throat at the very moment, he could feel the heat increasing in the atmosphere-- he wondered if it was him falling sick, or the temperature increasing.

"hongjoong?" the older male whispered and he immediately whipped his head in the direction of the voice. their faces were merely inches apart, he could feel seonghwa's warm breath against his lips.

"yea?"

hongjoong's eyes trailed from seonghwa's round, sparkling eyes to his plump lips. they looked lush, he wondered how they tasted, how they felt against his. he knew he wasn't supposed to like guys, or even want to kiss them, but seonghwa felt different. maybe he could try. he was sure he would regret it, but he wanted to give it a shot.

yet before he knew it, he felt the soft, plush lips against his, moving ever so gently. seonghwa's slender hands cupped the younger's cheeks as he caressed them with his thumb. hongjoong breathed in heavily as he slung his arms around the male's neck, their lips slotted together perfectly as if they were tap dancing to the rhythm of a melodious song. seonghwa tasted like cherry lip balm.

seonghwa felt like he was on cloud nine-- kissing the man he'd been wanting to kiss for months together, in such an intimate setting. his eyes were closed shut, savouring the taste and feeling of kissing the younger as his hands softly fisted his dress.

hongjoong softly sighed after his pulled away from the kiss, because fuck, he felt drunk on it-- drunk on his lips. he wanted to kiss him again, and again, and again, but as quickly as the feeling started, it ended.

what was he doing? what the fuck did he just do? he kissed a man. it was wrong.

the male pushed seonghwa's chest, trying to push him away from him. his heart pounding, mind racing as panic set in; the weight of everything crashing down on him. he did something he wanted to do, even though it was wrong, he did it-- and now everything was out of control.

he shuffled around in panic, gathering all his stuff and packing it back in his bag.

"i--i h--have to go, i can't, sorry, i need to pick yechan up," he said as he scrambled on his feet, his world spun and confusion hit him.

before seonghwa could even respond, hongjoong turned and rushed toward the door, his chest tight and his breath ragged as he fumbled with the handle. he needed to get out. he needed space. he needed to think.

and without looking back, hongjoong bolted from the apartment, the echo of seonghwa’s name on his lips and the kiss lingering like a ghost he couldn’t get rid of.

--|--

long time no see guys, i missed y'all but i was busy bc of trip then i got sick and shit but I'M BACK, get ready for some angst 😈😈😈😈