hongjoong didn't have anything to say to the confession that rang through his ears, it felt like all the walls he had built around himself crumbled into several pieces. his eyes fluttered as tears rose, and he tugged at the yarn of his torn jeans as he leaned against the wall outside of seonghwa's office, where inside yechan sat giggling with the older male. 

he let out a shaky breath, his tender fingers wiping away the tears that managed to slip through and fall. he wondered-- was seonghwa being genuine? was he serious? did he want to give hongjoong another chance? after all that he had done? 

and for the first time, hongjoong wanted to give love a chance, because maybe, just maybe, someone didn't care about how broke he was, the fact that he was a single father, or even the fact that he was shattered on the inside. someone was willing to love him, despite all the flaws he had, despite all the scars that decorated his body like ornaments on a christmas tree. maybe, seonghwa didn't see him as a disposable object that could solely be used for sex but instead saw him as a person with actual feelings. 

hongjoong got lost in his deep thoughts until the sound of a door clicking open snapped him out of it, making him turn his head to yechan standing in front of him, a wide smile tugged across his lips. 

"daddy, look!!" the little one exclaimed as he proudly showed off the stickers he got to his father.

"oh baby, that's amazing! i'm so proud of you," hongjoong said as he crouched down and gently caressed his son's chubby cheek before placing a soft kiss on his forehead. god, did yechan love seonghwa so much. in the short time they had spent together, the little one grew extremely fond of his doctor, and it made hongjoong's heart swell with gratefulness. the older male was the reason yechan was better, he couldn't have done it without him. 

seonghwa stood behind yechan, watching the whole scene unfold as he gazed at hongjoong while fiddling with the button on his shirt. he inhaled sharply, his chest bubbling with nervousness and anxiety that he had never experienced before.

"uh, hongjoong?" he asked cautiously.

"yeah?"

"can we uh, meet in my office for a bit? i need to um, speak to you about something," seonghwa spoke, his voice laced with anxiety as his eyes moved everywhere except hongjoong. he was never like this, what happened to him? 

"okay--"

"and uh, yechan can be with the nurse," the male cut hongjoong off, catching him a little off guard. but sure, hongjoong was down for this. 

the redhead convinced yechan to be with his favourite nurse for a bit until he spoke to seonghwa, and the little one was fairly convinced, only with the condition that he would get ice cream later though. and hongjoong, he could never say no to his baby. 

soon enough, hongjoong found himself standing in front of seonghwa as he leaned against the door of the fairly small room. the room was comforting as always; a warm light illuminating the walls with drawings all over along with the scent of coffee wafting through the room. the male's white blazer lay flat against his massive leather chair, the papers on his desk held down with a weight and the cool air grazed against hongjoong's hot skin, forming goosebumps all over. 

"so uh, what did you want to talk about?" he asked, his head hung low as he let out a shaky breath. 

"about us."

that made the redhead snap his head up-- those particular words stirred something undescribable in hongjoong's stomach. 

"what about us?" he asked slowly. 

"i'm sorry," the other male apologized as his eyes darted across the younger's face

"for what?" he questioned yet again, his face contorted with confusion

"for making you feel like we had to hurry. i shouldn't have kissed you that day, and neither should i have confessed last night. you ran away from me, and i'm sorry for making you feel like you were forced into anything," seonghwa spoke softly as a few stray tears rolled down his cheeks. and hongjoong-- he was speechless. he opened his mouth and closed it again simply because he did not know what to say. 

"i'm ready to wait however long for you, even if you don't love me back," he whispered the last part as he gently brushed a strand of hair away from hongjoong's face and tucked it behind his ear, a small, hopeful smile tugged on his lips. 

"but i'm not worth waiting for, so why are you?" his voice trembled in a way he'd never heard before. he was scared, why was he always ruining relationships? 

"you are. you're worth more than you'll ever understand. i'll wait not because i have to-- but i because i want to. you deserve so much, you deserve to be loved, and you're so beautiful. i want to wait for you, i want to wait until you're ready, kim hongjoong." 

he had never experienced anyone wanting to wait for him. to him-- it was always the fast-paced night of quick fucks and lust that inevitably surrounded him and suffocated him like thick smoke. 

before hongjoong could let the tears spill, he clutched the collar of seonghwa's dark shirt with his hand and smashed his lips against the older male's. they were as plush and soft as he remembered them to be, the one whose lips tasted like cherry. hongjoong felt his cheeks getting wet, the tears finally slipping past his eyes as he slung his arms around the older's neck. it was nothing much; just a tender kiss, yet hongjoong didn't know why his stomach flipped the way it did, why firecrackers exploded around him and why everything around him felt like it disappeared. his heart raced faster than the speed of light as he moved his lips against seonghwa's. 

seonghwa on the other hand was caught off guard, he froze for a split second before he melted into the kiss. his hands trailed past the male's waist as one wrapped around it and the other delicately gripped the nape of his neck, soaking in everything about the moment. how he felt hongjoong's eyelashes tickle his cheeks, how his cheeks were wet with tears and even how hongjoong's awkward hands managed to sling around his neck, his fingers fluttered awkwardly. the kiss was gentle yet desperate as if it was their last time. even though it wasn't perfect-- hongjoong's breath was uneven and seonghwa's movements were yet shaky it was everything he ever wanted and wished for.  

the older male tilted his head a bit, deepening the kiss and wanting to get as close as possible. his thumb gently brushed against the bare skin of hongjoong's waist, he tenderly held him-- as if he would break if seonghwa left him. hongjoong's actions spoke more words than he ever would be able to. 

when they pulled apart, they rested their foreheads against each other's, breathing slowly as they held each other and cherished the moment. 

"i'm scared," hongjoong whispered ever so softly as if someone would hear him if he were a little louder. 

"i know, you don't have to be scared alone. i'm always here, waiting for you."

"i'm scared, but; i want to try. i might not be the best, and i may fuck up, but i want to try. i want to give us a chance," he spoke after a brief silence. he felt seonghwa's hand rub up and down his back with love, with the utmost tender touch. 

"that's all i've ever wanted, nothing else. i'm proud of you," the male said before he placed a soft kiss on the younger's forehead as he gently caressed his cheek with his thumb. 

those words made hongjoong feel like he was worth being loved and a glimmer of hope sparked in his heart because maybe, seonghwa really did love him for him. 

and maybe, giving seonghwa a chance was the right choice.