Slamming the door behind her, Teal's mind boggled, anger bubbled in her belly, and she had more questions than when they started the conversation an hour ago. Her parents should have told her sooner, at eighteen. 

Definitely, by twenty-one.

For twenty-four hours she stewed in the dim, candle-lit bedroom. Thoughts of what she should do with the information she'd been oblivious to, a chess game in her brain. Should she pretend everything was the same? 

Am I the same? 

She didn't feel the same. Should she pretend her family didn't keep her from stepping into the daylight or seeking help from the human side? The fact they had an aunt she'd never met--correction, that she'd never heard of before yesterday was madness. Even Jax knew and never mentioned her. What else could he possibly know, he hadn't revealed?

A gentle knock at the door, almost too soft to hear, grabbed her attention. Briefly, she considered ignoring it, but another followed a few seconds later, then another.

"Not interested." Instantly she regretted her rude words, and she scrunched her face in distaste. "What do you want?"

"You good?" 

"I am. Leave!" 

"Don't, Squirt--" 

"Stop calling me that! I'm not a little zombie anymore. I'm twenty-five. You're barely three years older..." She crossed her arms in front of her chest in frustration. 

"Teal, coming in. Don't care." The muffled voice behind the door was stern and it resonated in the quietness in her room. 

"Why? Are you gonna use your great, brute zombie force on my unlocked door?" She scoffed.
"Teal--I didn't, um, I didn't--know." 

"Didn't know we have a human aunt?! Didn't know I knew nothing of her? Liar! Or did your zombie brain forget?" 

Shit... 

She regretted those ugly words. Teal realized sometimes zombies say things they don't mean, to be cruel to those they love. She thought it would make her feel better, but it didn't. All they did was tear at her heart, widening the gap between her and the ones she loved. 

"No fair, Teal," his voice fell and deepened. "I--uh, I-thought she was dead," he said with great difficulty.

It was a challenge for him to remember words, Teal knew this. Complex, simple, it didn't matter. However, his attempt to have a grown-up conversation did not go unnoticed. On the contrary, she thought it admirable.

Sliding off the bed, she knew Jax could hear the springs and squeaks of the coils inside the mattress. Teal paused before she took sluggish, somber steps towards the door. Facing it, she stood immobile before pulling on the oiled-bronze handle.

Standing tall, Jax waited behind the door. Under his eyes, the pigment of his inky skin was darker than usual. His eyes, the color of liquid gold, a contrast between the paleness of his flesh. The intense blue of his veins stood out, and the brownish, blond curls jumbled atop his head. If his body had fluids, he'd been crying a river.

She didn't want to weep, but seeing him dismantled made her emotions bounce out of control. Her body collapsed on his. "I'm sorry Jax. I didn't mean to--" Tears spilled down her cheeks.

"Shh, it's okay."

"No, it isn't!" She shook her head.

Unable to contain his distress, Jax hugged her to him and broke down wailing atop her elfin shoulders. His tearless cry helped her find some relief as she held the heaviness of his body. When his head slumped on her, she knew she could hold the weight of the world and survive. She would be a rock for him. For her family. For humanity.

His sobs ceased. Once they both calmed down, the questions poured out of her. "Did mom and dad tell you she was dead?"

"Yes, they said what they needed. I was little." 

He shook his head, and she knew he was reminded of the hurt he'd forgotten long ago. Pain, Teal thought only humans could feel until that moment when she cradled him in her arms the way a mother would her child.

Methodically he spoke, timid. "Every day, I asked about our aunt. I, uh--" Gaunt hands covered his eyes shutting, the noise out of his head. "I cried every, um, every night, before sleep. Wasn't her fault. She was good. Loved me. But--but she, um, she wasn't mom. After the virus, a year, I did-I, didn't know what happened. Aunt Rita tried to explain."

He took an airless breath then gave a hiccuped chuckle. "Aunt Rita was um-"

"Angry?"

He swayed his head.

"Scared?"

"Yeah! Yeah, scared. Asked me to scratch or bite her. Family is everything--to, um, her. She wanted to um, fuck!" He balled his hands in frustration.

"Take your time, Jax," she coached.

"She- uh, wanted to cross, with me. Live with us. At the time--no humans here."

Teal gasped, and her eyes opened as large as they could go. She could imagine the desperation her aunt must have felt to ask such a horrific request from a little boy. "Is that when she found out she couldn't get the virus? That she couldn't turn?"

He nodded."She let go of me. Alone. Stayed behind. No humans," he repeated. "Later, some immunes crossed. I ask for her. Why she didn't come to see me. I thought, been bad. Couldn't turn her." His mouth an upside-down U. "Dad said she was gone. Heaven. To uh, hmm, help children. I swore, never forget. Never forget her face." He pointed a finger at his forehead. "Burned in my brain. I--uh, remember. Every night."

Brokenhearted, Teal crumpled her eyes clutching at her brother's hand. A feeling of uneasiness overtook her body and she shook from head to toes. With sadness. With hope. The effort Jax put forth, after learning their aunt might still be alive, made her love and appreciate her brother more.

"Was little," he repeated, looking at the stained, red rug on the floor. "Worked."

Looking devastated, he shrugged. His eyes lifted, and Teal felt helpless.

"It's nice to know she might be alive, right?"

"We may never see."

"But we might. I have a feeling. I hope to at least."

"Feeling? What's that?" He flipped his hands playfully.

"You know what feelings are you, jackass." She poked fun at him. "Just 'cause you don't feel them all the time doesn't mean you don't have them. Or, does it?"

His eyes widened, "I do?"

He chuckled and she laughed.

"Wow, I'm impressed, Jax." Exhaling, Teal relaxed feeling at ease with him. "Coming here to talk to me takes courage and it is so much work for you. I'm very proud, and I love you're my brother."

"Yuck!" His lip curled upward, and he stuck his yellowed teeth out.

She slapped his shoulder. "Hey!"

"Ha-ha-ha! I have my, um, moments. Need to con--"

"Concentrate?"

"Mm, very difficult. But I got it."

He tossed a silver, glittery pillow torn at the corner, at her face. Some stuffing inside it seeped out and zigzagged floating in the air for a span of a few seconds. They giggled, and he ruffled the crown of her head, tussling her already messy locks.

"I rather talk simple. No need to, um, concentrate so much."

Teal understood his dilemma. "No worries, Jax. Thank you."

With a smile, he nodded.

"Mom was surprised I asked about what happened... again. She reluctantly told me the story I've been asking about, my entire existence!" She rolled her eyes. "I bet they're relieved now that I know. They weren't counting on Miss Billions of Questions, over here, to get it out of them. Ha!"

Feeling better about her circumstances, she felt at peace. If her brother could get over the sham that was their lives, so could she.

"Kinda heavy being a, um, hybrid. Or something, huh? You? Maybe? Fuckin' huge, Teal!" With one playful push, he shoved her off the edge of the bed.

"Hey!"

"Weak." He had a fit laughing.

"Dumbass."

Sitting up, she gave his words some thought. 

"Yeah, it is, I know. Freakin' me out kinda. I hate being something that needs unlocking, though. I'm not sure what to do with all the information at this point. It seems like going for help to the humans is futile. Maybe Aunt Rita, if I could find her." Teal's eyes glazed over.

"Know what I'd do?" Jax perked up.

"What?" An inquisitive brow shot up.

"Relax. Think. Answers will come."

"Not too shabby, big brother." She smiled amazed at the simplicity of his words. "For a zombie, you're pretty bright!"

"You too." He winked. "Sometimes I shock myself!" Rubbing his palms together, he laced and stretched his fingers cracking them in the process. Anxiously wiping his sweatless hands on the front of his jeans, he got up to leave the room. Placing her hand on his forearm, Teal stopped him.

"Jax?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you be going to the club soon?"

"Always! Tomorrow. Interested?" With all his anxiety gone and back to his old self, Jax turned his head towards her, looking carefree.

"Yes. Very." Now that Teal understood who she thought she was and repressed all those years, was not a figment of her imagination; she wished to experience life differently. Realizing she'd missed much of her world, and, her youthful zombie years were flying by, it was time to hands-on savor the fun things in life. Living vicariously through human books was an eye-opener. In many ways, even though she felt she wasn't a zombie one hundred percent; she assumed the grass was greener on their side. And, cautious to the point of exaggeration. By attempting to figure out who she was in the past, she'd forgotten to live in the present.

"Really?!" Shocked, his eyes looked like hollowed sockets. "For sure?!"

Happy they could finally share a moment and have something in common, she waggled her head.

"Wow! Secrets out... New life, Teal?!"

"Yeah, I think I will need to take a page out of the book that is Jax. Do what you usually do and have always asked me to do." She spoke in riddles.

"Huh?"

"Relax." She pushed her left hand forward away from her body with her palm down. "Go with the flow. Exist as we were intended to." Opening her arms in the air, she shouted. "I think I'm ready to be and feel free, Jax! Live a little."

"Ha! Awesome! We leave at one."

"I'll be counting the hours!" she shrieked.

"You will?"

"Not really, no. But I can't wait!"

Music by:
Elliot Smith * Ballad of Big Nothing