I had walked out of the party, all the way to the abandoned amusement park. Fortunately, Blaze told me the location while we were arguing at the tattoo place. It was closer than expected, that or I didn't notice time fly because of the betrayal I felt. 

Betrayal?

Why? He didn't promise to be mine only. 

I couldn't let that destroy this night. I looked up at the fence surrounding the dark and quiet amusement park. I climbed over it carefully and jumped down, wiping the dust off of my jeans. 

Normally, I'd get scared but I wasn't. I was going to finish this list with or without Blaze. They said if you were born without him then you can most certainly live without him, in my case, I can most certainly live what's left of my life without him. 

I was well aware that my time was coming to an end soon. I didn't want to count it, I was afraid to give up. For the first time, I felt like I was willing to fight. But now, now I just think I want to give it up, I can't wait for this to be over. 

I made it to the Ferris wheel and the fear rushes back to me. No matter the situation, nothing can change the fact that

I'm still afraid of heights

"There you are, Cat" Blaze sighs beside me, making me jump in surprise. 

"What the fuck?!" I scream. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he laughs. "So, how do you plan on climbing this?" 

I held onto the rusty and weak looking steel, holding the ride and start to climb up. The ride wasn't that tall, but it's tall enough to make someone break their bones if they ever fall off. Let's just hope that doesn't happen. 

I finally made it to the cart on the top with the help of Blaze. I sat down and looked out into the distance, sighing. I closed my eyes and the images of him kissing the girl flashes in my mind again. 

"Are you okay?" Blaze asks but I didn't answer. "Come on, don't cry, we could go back down now"

I ignored him and touched my cheek, feeling a tear run down. 

"No need to be immature, I know I scared you but please don't react like this," he pleads. 

"Why don't you get down yourself and go back to sucking faces with that girl?" I wanted him to say no because I couldn't get down all by myself. 

He sighs and runs his hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. "So you saw that? Why does it even bother you?"

Yeah, why did it bother me? I don't know.

"I don't know, I just," I pause, thinking about what to say, "We were supposed to complete the list and you're off doing that." I blurt out.

"We aren't dating, I don't get why should be chained to you all the time," he snaps.

He was right, we weren't dating. 

What he had said somehow made me hurt even more. I held back the tears that tried to make their paths down my cheek. 

"Stop crying, please. Tell me, why does this bother you?" he puts his hands on my shoulders. 

Why did it bother me?

Why did it hurt me?

It's because you fell for him, bitch.

"Because I love you" I cry out, looking him in the eyes, waiting for his reaction. He smiled and slid his hands up to my cheeks and wiped the tears off. 

"I love you too, princess," he whispers before gently placing his lips on mine. I never imagined this. My first kiss on a Ferris wheel in an abandoned amusement park--so original. 

Once we pull away, our heads still resting on each other, he talks again. "I shouldn't have said that, I was pissed too. She was my ex and she forced that kiss on me, I'm sorry I ruined tonight for you."

"It's fine, we still have 4 hours to kill before we spend the rest of the 19 hours at my house," I smile. 

"20 hours of what?" he smirks. 

"Binge-watching," I wink. 

"Ooh, sexy," he growls, joking and I just laugh in reply. 

-*-

We were now in a field, laid underneath the blanket of stars. 

"Why did you want to name a star?" he asks. Blaze had his arms underneath his head and I laid on his chest, looking up at the sky. 

"My mom said that you can claim a star as your second home so you'll live there after you've left this place," I smile. 

"Where's the first home?"

"The first home is always permanent, it's where your heart is," I look up at him. 

"I know what to name my star." 

"And what's that?"

"Cat, because you're my home," Blaze smiles, claiming my lips. 

"Then I'll name mine, 'your heart'" I smile once we pull away. 

"Why?"

"Because I know I'll always have a place in your heart, I'll always belong there,"

"Princess, you're so cheesy," he chuckles.

"I know," I grin. 

We laid there for some more time before deciding that we would watch some movies at the house. The anxiety hits me, how do I tell him about my condition?

It would hurt him as much as it would hurt me. I don't know if I can give this up, if I can leave. I want to fight for my home. My one and only home. 

Help me decide..

Help me think this out..

Help me make things worthwhile...

Tell me that things will be okay and this wouldn't all be gone again. Show me that I deserve this, this love..

2 more things left in my list.. 

Can I do this?