day one: put your music on shuffle and write a poem or short story inspired by the song that starts with the first line of the song and ends with the last line of the song.   

song choice: no more sad songs (little mix)

No More Sad Songs

"I keep trying, nothing's working." The phone was balanced between my ear and my shoulder as I tried to open the door to my small one bedroom studio apartment which was a steal with how close it was to my school and job. 

"Try harder!" Lindsey encouraged in my ear, and I held myself back from rolling my eyes. I dropped my bags into the chair right behind my front door and locked everything behind me before taking the phone in my hand and putting it on speaker. 

"It's just getting pathetic at this point," I told her, thinking about how many times I called my boyfriend earlier that day with no reply. I placed my phone on my kitchen counter and moved to the refrigerator so I could heat up the take out from the night before and eat it. 

"He doesn't deserve you," she stated. "You worry so much about him night and day but he just strings you along. He's totally using you. I told you to dump him." 

"Weren't you just telling me to try harder to communicate with him a second ago?" If I hadn't known her for ten years, I would probably get whiplash from how quickly she'd change her stances on issues. "But seriously, Linds, it's fine. He can go out and do whatever as long as he comes back to me every time, which he does." 

"Jessie. . ." 

"I know," I sighed as I thought over all the conversations I not only had with him, but every single other person in my life. What hurt the most is the fact that in the past two weeks I've maybe had four conversations with him while even Lindsey had started to call me every single day. While Lindsey and I had always been close, ever since we met in middle school and she stood up for me in our shared art class where I had been getting bullied by a girl who ended up moving a year later, talking everyday wasn't normal for us until she realized just how toxic my relationship had gotten. "I know I need to break up with him. But it's kind of hard to break up with someone who doesn't answer the call you make to break up with him." 

"I just don't understand why he's ignoring you." 

"I don't know. He seemed fine when I talked to him on Monday." 

"Monday was five days ago," she reminded me. "Is that really the last time he contacted you?" 

I almost cried at how pathetic the situation made me feel. "He texted me saying sorry for missing my calls on Wednesday and that he'd call me back." I placed the take out box that I had taken out of the fridge into my microwave. 

"Text him and break up with him through there. If he doesn't have the decency to answer even a phone call then he deserves the break up text treatment." She used her no-nonsense voice and I would have felt bad for my boyfriend of two years if it wasn't for the fact that he stopped talking to me. Lindsey was out for blood. 

"But that's such a crappy thing to do," I objected. "He'd hate me." 

"Well no offence, but if he truly cared he would answer the phone."

I sighed and looked through the contacts until I found his contact. 

we need to talk

I waited a moment to see if maybe he'd reply. Maybe he'd see those words and know that he's in trouble and he's about to get dumped. Maybe he'll do the honors for me. "I sent him a message saying we need to talk," I told her after typing. 

"Tell me if he says anything, I'm on the edge of my seat." I rolled my eyes and grinned at the beep telling me my food was ready. I was in need of some serious pity party munchies. 

normal at 8? 

"He texted me to meet up later tonight," I told her, frowning. "What do you think?" 

"He's trying to save his butt probably," she stated. "Don't fall for it. Where does he want to meet, though?"

"Our normal," I told her.

"Yeah like I know what that means."

"That club by 24th," I told her. She didn't make any sound of recognition so I further explained, "It's the red building. We went there for Tanya's bachelorette party." 

"Oh! Why is your normal a club?" She made a sound of disgust in the back of her throat. She hated any place that forced a person to dance. 

"Well, first of all it's where we met. Remember? You told me he was checking me out and told me to ask him for his number. But, anyways, we have fun there. We do weird roleplays where we pretend to be strangers that fall in love in one night," I told her. 

"You're both dorks, first of all. Second of all, is he expecting you to do that roleplaying tonight before or after you dump him?"

I looked down. "Maybe I'll tell him to just come to my place instead." 

"Or maybe his place so he doesn't have to leave your place awkwardly?" 

"Right." I took a bite of my food before texting him once again. 

can we stay in at yours instead?

why?

i need to talk to you 

we can't talk at the club?

not with what i have to tell you 

well ig we can chill at mine

i'm about to hit the store, need anything since you'll be coming over?

no, just your time would be nice 

I winced at how cringy my reply was. He'll definitely know something's up. "I'm confused," I told Linds. "He's acting as if he hasn't done anything wrong. Like he's not aware he hasn't returned my calls or texts for the past few days." 

"Boil him later, for right now eat your Chinese and figure out how you're going to break the news." 

"I don't know, maybe I'll just break the news with being angry about this past week." 

"I meant break the news to your mom." I thought about her statement. My mom really was more in love with my boyfriend than I was at times. 

"I've got to go," I told her, because it reminded me that I had to call my mom in the first place. "Love you, bye boo." 

"Bye! Don't forget to call a sister back later so we can cry together!" 

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at what she said so instead I pressed the off dial. I finished my take out, sent a voicemail to my mother who didn't answer the phone, and then I started to blast what I called my 'emo playlist' complete with all of the songs that would get me in the mood for what was come. Some of them were angry and others were downright heartbreaking, but all of them were back up for the night to come. 

When I first knocked on his door I almost chickened out and left, but he answered without a minute to spare. I was cautious especially because of the wide smile on his face and the kiss on the cheek that he greeted me with, but I knew what I was going to do was for the best. "I know you said not to get you anything at the store, but I got you some of these anyways when I saw them." 

I looked at the fake thin mints in his hands and my knees almost buckled in submission. He was laying the feelings on thick, but I held myself from falling this time. We'd gone into the continuous cycle within the past few months where he'd mess up, I'd cry about it to my friends, and then he'd do something like this to try and convince me he wasn't that bad. 

Still, I grabbed them from his hands. When I sprinted out after breaking up with him, I figured they would be a nice souvenir. "Carter, I told you before. We need to talk," I told him, deciding that it would be easier to just do it right away. 

He looked nervous. Good. "Alright, but first why don't we start a movie? I bought popcorn-"

"Carter, please just talk to me," I begged. "I don't want a movie. I don't want these gifts," I shook the thin mints in my hands, "and I don't want excuses."

"Look I know you're angry-"

"I came here to break up with you," I stated. 

His eyes filled with shock and he started to nervously tug on his shirt. "I'm sorry, what?" 

"This relationship isn't going to work out," I told him. "Especially if I'm the only one interested in it." 

"Who told you I was otherwise?" His eyes turned dark. 

"You told me," I lectured. "You decided you weren't interested in this relationship when you decided to drop me these past two weeks as if I mean nothing to you. You'd think after two years together you'd learn how to answer the phone or reply to a text." 

"You don't understand-"

"Understand what?" I argued. "Understand that I called you at least ten times this morning and texted you even more than that but it took until I told you that I wanted to talk for you to want to speak with me because you had to have known what that message meant. I'm done being strung along like this. I'm not going to sit at home worrying about you. Did you know that I was convinced that maybe you got murdered and that's why you weren't replying? I called Jefferson and he told me that you were fine, that you were at home when he left you. Do you know how it feels when your boyfriend ignores you to the point you have to call his roommate to see if he's not dead?" 

"Jessie-"

"I'm taking the thin mints with me," I told him and grabbed the box before leaving, slamming the door behind me. 

***

"He doesn't deserve you," Lindsey stated through another mouthful of ice cream. We lived thirty minutes away from each other, which wouldn't seem like a big deal but I knew she had an exam the next day. So it meant a lot that she would still come by to mourn my two year relationship with me. 

"I just can't believe he had the audacity to not even look guilty. He was nervous, but never once did he look guilty for ruining my life these past two weeks." I angrily munched on another thin mint. I was one away from eating the whole box by myself, and it made me even angrier that they were bought by him. 

"Have you told your mom?" She placed her ice cream on the table next to her as she tried to sit up and get more comfortable in her seat on my couch. 

I was laying across the floor, the box of fake thin mints within reach of my hands so I could munch on them. I hadn't even looked at my phone since I texted Lindsey to tell her that I broke up with him. "No," I answered her question. "My mom might have a sob fest. I swear she loves him more than she loves me."

"I think the last time we were at your house I saw her considering dumping your dad to jump on him."

"That's a horrid visual to place in my head while I'm mourning, thank you for that." 

"It's what friends are for," her response was filled with laughter. 

"You're a hoe bag." 

"Okay, troll," she responded. "No one even says hoe bag anymore." 

"I'm hip." 

"The second you say those words you know for certain you are, in fact, not hip," she lectured with a grin. "You need to get out." 

"I dumped my boyfriend literally a few hours ago, don't I get a break?" 

"We've been sitting in here eating ice cream and blasting your sad songs playlist for too long. I won't let you become that mopey girl who sits in her room crying for days and then jumps at the first chance to get back together with her ex just as she returns to the land of the living." 

"I hate you," I told her, knowing that's probably exactly what I'd do. 

"You only hate that I'm right. Get dressed, girl, we're going out." I followed her orders and made my way into my bedroom and tried on one of my nicer looking dresses that was still casual. "You look hot mama," she told me, smiling. 

"What are you wearing?" I asked, considering she was dressed to cry with me. 

"You really thought I didn't come here with the intention to already drag you out." She rolled her eyes. "You just get ready, I'm all set." I listened to what she said and made my way to the bathroom where I sat in front of my vanity and worked on my face. I looked around for my favorite palette, before realizing I left it at Carter's house two weeks earlier when I was getting ready for Tanya's wedding. I realized that was the last time I can remember feeling solid in my relationship, the next day was when Carter started to cut me out.

Suddenly crying felt like the best way to spend my time, once again. 

"What's taking you so long?" Lindsey barged over. 

I looked at her through the mirror with my eyes tearing up as I explained, "I left my favorite palette at his house." 

Her face turned sympathetic before started to look through what I still had and picked out another good palette that I was constantly told I didn't appreciate enough. "Go wild with this one. It's better than the other one, you're just attached." I nodded at her words and tried my best to make myself look somewhat decent despite my tears and shaky hands. 

"Ready to go, hot stuff?" She grinned and took my hand so I'd move faster behind her while we left my apartment. 

"Where are we going?" I asked her, confused as I suddenly remembered she never told me. 

"The club you like." She continued to drag me along, but stumbled as I suddenly pulled back. "What?"

"Why would we go there?" I asked. "It's only going to remind me of him."

"It's going to make you feel free to be there," she tried to explain. "You'll be allowed to dance with hot guys at a place where you felt constricted to only dancing with one. You won't have to be dragged to talk to who he wants to or feel the need to worry about him being bored when you are talking to someone you want to. It will feel great. Trust me." 

I narrowed my eyes. "Alright, I'll budge." I allowed her to take my hand once again and we made it to the club in record time, probably because she walked at a speed faster than any other normal human, the reason that I had to be dragged to be able to keep up. 

When we reached the club it was buzzing with activity and I stood there not exactly knowing what to do if I wasn't there to fall in love with Carter all over again. After a second I decided to sit in my normal space at the bar, looking at his normal seat with discontent as Lindsey sat down in the one on my other side. 

"Jessie!" I was greeted by the bartender, Brian, with his normal enthusiasm. "I haven't seen you here since the dawn of time." 

"It's only been two weeks," I argued. 

"Two weeks too long, honeybun. How's the boyfriend of yours?" 

"Dumped," I told him. "Today actually. Any chance I can take you up on that old offer of beer?" 

"No way, pretty lady. Alcohol is the worst way to deal with this problem. I'm cutting you off."

"I haven't even started," I argued, frowning in annoyance. "What the hell, Brian? You could get good tips from me tonight. This is your living we're talking about." 

"Feisty. It's cute, but it's not going to work. I've been friends with you for too long to allow you to waste away like that, even if just for one night. You want a Shirley Temple you say? I'll make one right up." I didn't have a chance to reply as he walked away. 

"Did you just see that?" I looked to Lindsey, who was chuckling. 

"Brian is looking out for you," she assured. "Don't take it personally, but he's right. You shouldn't waste away like that. Besides, we came here to dance to forget, not drink to forget." 

I gave in. "I guess you're right." Brian placed the Shirley Temple down and I immediately paid him for it. "I'm not planning to get anything else for the night," I told him before taking a sip. I couldn't complain, it tasted just as good as I remembered from childhood. 

I really should drink those more often. 

"Come on, I love this song!" I quickly placed the drink down, with Brian's assurance he'd watch over it to make sure no one would place any drugs in it, and followed her where she started to quickly move to the music. 

I found it hard, and moved stiffly at the beginning. Somehow, though, by the end of the song I felt myself loosening up and actually having a good time. An hour or two passed by and the two of us were still living it up on the dance floor, having danced for so long with only one quick five  minute break for me to finish my drink while Brian still had the chance to watch over it. 

"Are you having a good time?" Brian had asked during the break. 

"I'm not having a bad time if that's what you mean," I had replied before leaving my empty cup to dance once again. 

Soon enough Lindsey and I got tired and retired back to the bar. "Hey, look at the hot guy over there checking you out." She pointed to a guy behind me. 

I turned around and locked eyes with him before turning back to her in confusion. "Linds..."

"You should talk to him, ask for his number." Suddenly my mind fell back on my first memory of him and my eyes widened. 

"Lindsey I don't-"

She leaned forward and cut me off as she whispered, "Go ask him for his number. Trust me." 

I stood up and awkwardly walked over to the man sitting in the corner as suddenly the music switched to a slow song, which was unheard of for the club on a Saturday night. Wednesday nights were couple nights where they were more inclined to play slower songs. But then I remembered, the night I met him was the night a couple got engaged and requested for a slow song. 

Suddenly a switch flipped in my brain. 

Oh. 

Oh. 

"Please tell me I broke up with you for a good reason," I rushed the words the second I reached him. Instead he took his phone out of his pocket, ignoring my words as he fiddled his way through his lock combination which I happened to know was my birthday. 

"I think this is a better explanation." He handed the phone over to me and it was on his notes app. A list of all the things he had been doing for the past two weeks instead of answering my calls. 

He spent one week with my parents. He drove four hours away to ask my dad for his permission and to plan this out with my mom. He ignored calls to meet with my friends and ask for their opinions on rings and tried to track down someone who would know my ring size, all on top of also picking up a lot of yard work jobs to make extra cash to help pay for the ring because his income at the moment was strictly enough to afford his rent, groceries, bills, and maybe twenty dollars of spare cash for entertainment. 

The next week was spent here, working everything out with the club and my friends to keep me occupied while trying to catch up on the work he missed the week before spent with my parents in my hometown. 

For two weeks his schedule was filled to the brim. He also had the notes for how he planned to do it. His morning, where he missed my ten calls, was filled with working. But he cleared his afternoon where we were supposed to watch a movie and he'd explain where he'd been and grovel for forgiveness before taking me to the club at night where he'd propose. 

Instead, I dumped him. 

"I'm so sorry," was all that escaped my lips as I turned to look at him, the phone still in hand. 

The song switched to another slow one. But this time it was our song. 

He flinched. "I probably should've returned your calls, but I was nervous and worried you'd know immediately what I was up to." 

"Obviously not," I replied. 

"May I have this dance?" he questioned, holding his arm out. I took it from him and looked over my shoulder at a grinning Lindsey. 

"Did she know?" 

"No, she's horrible at lying," he said, smiling halfheartedly as he took me in his arms to sway to the music. "I did tell her that I would explain everything if she got you dressed nice and to the club."

"But just now with the recreating our meeting..."

"While you were dancing I tapped her and told her to look at her phone. That's when you guys left the dance floor and she looked at my message telling her the lines. Saying I had a big surprise." 

"I'm so sorry," I apologized. 

We stayed silent after that, just dancing. The the climax of the song was just about to hit.

"You know, I love you. I care a lot about you. I really don't mean to hurt you, and I'm sorry if these last two weeks came off that way." The sincerity in his eyes melted my heart. 

"I spent the majority of my day crying in my apartment listening to sad songs," I informed him. "This feels kind of strange and like a dream." 

"So, do you still want to break up?" 

I shook my head. "I thought this was all self explanatory that we should just ignore anything I said to you earlier. Including that." 

"So, what about this?" 

"What?" 

Suddenly we stopped dancing and he took a step back in the middle of the dance floor to get down on one knee. The people around us stopped to stare. I stopped and stared. I could hear the loud happy shriek of my best friend in the background cheering. People started to murmur. 

"What about spending the rest of your life with me?" He pulled a ring box from his pocket and I almost passed out from shock as he opened the box to reveal one of the most gorgeous rings my eyes had ever laid eyes upon. The music hit the climax. "Will you marry me?" 

"No speech?" I questioned. 

He shook his head. "There's a lot of people looking, I know how quick you would love that to stop."

Suddenly I realized just how much work he put into this. How much he really did know me. How much I really did love him. It was like all the shock left my body and all that was left was a doey-eyed girl in love with the man in front of her. "Yes," I told him before repeating the word a thousand times more when he jumped up to slip the ring on my finger and I wrapped my arms around him to give him as many kisses in a second as I could. 

"I'll give you the speech later," he promised me. "I'm sorry I didn't want to make you cringe in public with the horribly written thing." People around us cheered as the song finished up and the DJ wished us congratulations before switching back to the upbeat songs normally played. 

We moved away from the floor where I moved in to kiss him as much as I could while still remaining publicly decent, but we were interrupted by a loud squeal and my being practically knocked over by my best friend. "I'm so happy for you, let me see it!" She gripped my hand to look and she started to gush about it's beauty. For the first time I took the time to study the ring in it's actuality. 

"Gem helped me pick it out," he told me. 

"Gem? Why did you ask Gem and not me?" Lindsey looked at him in betrayal. 

"You would've spilled the beans, Linds. We all know you."

She couldn't argue. "I mean, you're right," she finally admitted. She turned back to me and pulled me into a tight hug. "I'm so happy for you! But also, I'm happy for me."

"What? Why?" I looked at her in confusion. 

"My entire day has been filled with your depression. Which, you know I'm there to support you through, girl, and would never complain. All I'm saying is, thank the Lord. No more sad songs." 

***

this took me like two weeks to write but i'm kinda happy with how it turned out and i'm hoping it's a good start to this challenge. I've never written anything like this before so it really pushed me :)