As the sun dipped beneath the horizon, casting brilliant orange hues across the sky, you slipped away from the Paradis harbor in your small, weather-beaten sailboat. The gentle lapping of the waves against the hull rocked your body, urging your journey onward. You had chosen a boring boat to steal because that was the least likely thing they were going to notice.

Sailing was not your strong suit. You had grown up and always lived in a land-locked civilization, trapped behind the walls like cattle, and venturing into the unknown object that was a body of daunting waves terrified you beyond thought. But you had to go to Marley early; you had to infiltrate their military. You had to find leverage over Eren and delay the Rumbling. You had a plan and it meant you had to leave.

If you wanted to save Eren, you knew you had to swallow your fear and sacrifice.

After your argument, Eren did not talk to you for a full week. But he couldn't last that long and eventually had to nod at you tersely or ask you what the next schedule for the squadron was. Little talks. But the infinitesimal shift had altered the cosmos that was you and him, and your relationship was strained uncomfortably, like a thread hanging loose.

A full month passed where you danced around each other delicately, never speaking despite the air shimmering between you—the air of someone who knew what it meant to memorize the other's body at night.

The memories replayed in your head violently, like knives to your bone.

"You're not even going to try to fight for me?"

Would he ever know?

That you did it all—rejecting him, ignoring him, pushing him away—because there was no one you loved quite like him? That you dedicated your soul to fighting for Eren?

"If you loved me, you'd just tell me!"

You cursed Eren's name to the sky. Your love for him destroyed you both, every time.

With each creak of the rigging and each gust of wind filling the sails, you felt the weight of the world slowly pushing on your shoulders. The boat glided smoothly through the water, carrying you away from Paradis. The moon emerged, casting its glow upon the vast expanse of the sea. Stars adorned the sky like celestial jewels, guiding your journey to the other side.

The secrets you held close, the reasons for your clandestine departure, fueled the sails of your determination. The anticipation of the unknown thumped in your heart, blending with the rhythm of the waves beneath you. Though uncertainty lay ahead, the sense of steadiness enveloped you. Every stroke of the oar, every adjustment of the sail, propelled you further into the depths of the salty night, to that country across the sea, whom you have entered for the first time many times before.

How had Eren described the journey?

"Dark. Cold. You can't see anything except the ship's hull against the unforgivable ocean and hope you're doing this right... that you won't drown."

As the coastline faded into the distance, you knew that this escape was the first step toward the loop, a story yet to unfold across the vast canvas of the open sea. With each passing moment, your mind drifted. Tonight was a good night. The sea was calm.

You thought of Eren.

Nothing had changed in your relationship.

You were still just friends. Maybe even less now.

You wondered if he hated you, but you knew him well. He never could. It shattered you into a thousand irreparable pieces to know that he would always have space in his heart for you even though you had tried so hard to carve out of it.

He had most likely thought you were sexually frustrated, looking for a quick and easy way to get off. You didn't know why he'd let you use him like that if he had just assumed otherwise. He would be surprised that you left—you had never shown signs of what you knew.

You slammed a hand against the starboard, causing the boat to rock right. It was awful to not be able to tell him how you felt. You loved him, you'd kissed him, hell you even knew what he tasted like now, but he still didn't know that you were in love with him.

Waves rocked your boat back and forth. The sea was not so daunting. By sunrise, you reached Marley without any issues.

Mercy.

-

"I want you to see that Lara gets her lavender bath tonight at eight o'clock on the dot. The water must be warm but not too hot lest her sensitive skin scalds."

"Yes, Master Tybur."

"Kindly inform the doorman that I am expecting a visit from the Warriors' general, Commander Magath, as well."

"Understood, Master Tybur."

"Oh, and before you do that, please make sure that the children are in bed at the right time. Put away their toys if you have to, and prevent them from further pilfering the cookie jar to save their evening appetites."

"That is very wise, Master Tybur."

"Very good, Miss [Name]. I don't regret hiring you as our family maid."

You bowed before Willy Tybur, the hem of your long dress touching the floor, and exited the carpeted grand study. When you passed the gold-encrusted doors, you saw his children peeking out from the end of the hallway, whispering and wide-eyed.

Lara Tybur was already in bed. You had to see her because that was your job. She did not so much as nod at you as you entered her room. Of course, she would not. To her, you were simply a servant, meant to be invisible.

A sickly flush crept up her neck, and she squinted when you turned on the lamp although it was dim. Her dark eyes, you saw, were dilated like she had ingested opium.

It was easy to infiltrate. All you had to do was poison the past maid by slipping deadly berries into her cup of tea, and when the Tybur family sought an Eldian maid who was not at all known, had no family, and was quiet with her tasks, you just so happened to magically be available for the job. Sabotaging the other maids was easy as well, the ignorant Marleyan-born Eldians they were. Soon enough, the noble family knew of you.

You did your tasks well. You sucked up to them as a sponge soaked up water, greedy with information. It was odd to have such a stark change in your daily routine—where you were once a soldier, sweating and laboring in deadly conditions, you were now a servant tasked with menial orders.

"Your tea, Miss," you murmured softly as you placed a cup by Lara Tybur's opulent bedside. She was laying in her white nightgown, pale as a ghost. "Would you like me to place sugarcubes for you?"

"No sugarcubes today," she said dismissively. Her low voice was frail with sickness. "I haven't been feeling well, as of late."

"Oh?" you asked, sweet and kind. "Whatever happened?"

"I'm in no shape to continue holding on to the War..." she began, but trailed off, staring into space like her eyes were sinking back into her skull. "Never mind, it's none of your concern. Please see no sugar in my tea. Herbs would be better."

"Very well, Miss."

You took the teacup china and placed it on the saucer, your back to Lara. You took something from your pocket, a plant. It was a flower herb, earthy and fresh. You'd gotten it from some wild garden, recognizing the plant from your studies in the military.

Belladonna.

Deadly nightshade.

You hummed a children's song to yourself as you crushed the pretty petals in your palm, mixing it with the berries, and stirred them into the tea, poisonous juice running down your palms like it was merely water. Not harmful enough to kill, but just enough to cause body withering. You felt like a witch, stirring concoctions.

You placed the cup of tea by Lara's bedside again. Now, she was laid back on the squashed pillows, sweating. Her lips were turning blue. "Your tea, Miss. It will make you feel better. We cannot have you ill — you are the only Eldian lady of the house and Master's only sister."

"You're right," Lara echoed. She sat up to drink the tea. "I must get better."

After downing the poisoned tea, you watched with little emotion as she began to violently hack and cough. You feigned tender care. "Are you alright?"

"Fetch my brother," she gasped. "I must speak with him. I've been sick for too long."

"Very well, Miss."

You bowed and stalked off through the painting-decorated and jewel-displaying hallways to find Willy Tybur, suppressing the urge to grin from ear to ear. You knew you should feel guilty about poisoning an innocent woman — but you had reason to feel guilty about many things. At one point, the loops had blurred together and you found it easier to just not care at all. Yes, you were responsible. Tasked with the burden. You would take it, but you wouldn't care.

Willy and Lara spoke of something you couldn't hear as you waited patiently outside the door for their next orders. It wasn't so bad to be their servant, even if it was boring. They mainly tasked you to run errands for them and occasionally nanny the children. When you were occupied with arduous work that you had never done, you had the luxury of forgetting about your 'real' life and the people you left behind, as well as the impending war that only you knew about.

You'd never really seen them up close before. They didn't seem to be such bad people. It almost cursed you with discomfort to remember how Eren had ruthlessly killed them. War had always been merciless with its victims.

When you looked at the calendars and counted down the days, you realized that the time passed to the point that the Survey Corps must have infiltrated Marley as well. You played the multiple versions of the memory you had on that trip — the food you ate, the forum, getting drunk into the night. They were fresh in your mind still, like you had lived them just last week, not lifetimes ago.

If it were the first loop, Eren would have asked you what you were to him by now. And you'd be forever haunted by the regret and wondering.

You missed them. Dearly.

You wondered what Eren thought of you now that you'd been gone for some time.

Someone spoke your name. It was Willy. As you stepped into the room, you briefly wondered if his parents gave him such a ridiculous name because that was Marley's style.

"[Name], in the past few months you'd been with us, you've proven to be not only obedient but also physically adept," he stated. You felt like a funeral plume, dressed in black as the Tybur family gazed at you with unreadable expressions. "So, I offer you a choice to serve us further. You will be well compensated. I will even make your family Honorary Marleyans if you wish for it."

You swallowed. "I am a mere orphan. I am attached to nothing."

Willy smiled. "That is what makes you different. You have no connections to anyone, a mere orphan girl. Barely noticeable. So, you are the most suitable to take the role that Lara cannot fulfill due to her long-term illness."

"What is it, sir?" you ask, but you already know the answer.

Willy gestures to a chair beside the fireplace.

"You may want to sit down for this."

-

When you emerged from the steam, it felt like you were encased in a hard, sparkling stone. Of course. Eren had to use the Jaw Titan to crack Lara open from the crystal back then.

"Don't forget, Miss [Name]. You're only a temporary vessel."

You said nothing. You blinked and saw that you were laying frozen by the cord that connected you to the disintegrating Titan form that was a carbon, milky-white aegis copy of your own body. It was like you were trapped in a huge block of ice.

Willy Tybur smiled down at you. You were so unassuming and obedient. You did not complain when you were ordered to get injected with Titan serum and eat his sister. It did not matter. To him, it was atonement for the sins of the Eldian Empire — a story that you had heard a thousand times and never believed in. He was disgusting, a radical coward who would let his sister and himself die for the sake of destroying Paradis.

You knew that in the past loops, he was the one who orchestrated the attacks that rained bombs on your home. He did not believe in your race, ashamed of his own blood. Marley's disgusting lapdog. He could pretend to be noble all he wanted, but if a father let himself die without thinking of his children, you could not respect him.

Finally, you opened your eyes fully and felt the crystal shatter around you, releasing your body from its connection to the Titan.

"The War Hammer Titan has sworn its allegiance to you," said Lord Tybur.

He looked down on you from the podium above, as well as Commander Magath and General Calvi. They did not think much of you—after all, you were only a lowly Eldian servant who probably knew little about the Titans. They did not know what you were truly capable of. A child playing god like the world was just an illusion.

"And now, you swear allegiance to Marley. Rise, girl."

-

"You're the temporary vessel?"

"Yes, Commander Magath."

His aged irises eyed you up and down, unimpressed. "So, the successor of the Warhammer Titan is a typical Eldian girl. Not even a soldier, nor a member of the Tybur clan. A maid? They decided to sacrifice their servant instead. I wouldn't expect anything less from a noble family."

You did not say anything more. To infiltrate, you had to be quiet. Subversive. You could not shout with disobedience here, even if the verbal abuse was wrong.

Willy Tybur expected Eren's presence in Liberio. You knew that was why he chose to host a festival there, of all places — to show that Eren would sacrifice Eldians if he really had to. He would let Eren kill him. That was where you came in.

You were sent to the Warrior Unit for safekeeping. Not for you, but for the War Hammer Titan.

You didn't know whether to love or to hate the Titan. You could feel her in your bones, rattling like armor and begging to be released like a katana that only wanted to swing. It was like having the Attack Titan again, only this time, the War Hammer Titan knew she was at your mercy.

The Paths connected you to her, and you knew that she too could share your memories of the past loops. That was the nature of the Eldians.

Being sent to the supervision of the Warrior Unit and the Titan Biology Research Society was not as difficult as it seemed. You were essentially assigned private quarters, keeping you out of harm's way with the Warriors. You had seen Pieck Finger and Porco Galliard a few times, but you always ducked your head and never met their eyes, pretending to be afraid. They would chuckle and leave you be.

You had worried about meeting Reiner, but he was always lost in his own head. He never paid good attention to his surroundings. He never noticed you, but he often looked over his shoulder like he could sense he was being watched. After nine lives of seeing him suffer, the rage you used to feel after his first betrayal had snuffed out like a candle and you only felt pity for him now.

You had been brief friends again after Eren's death in the first loop.

It had been so long ago now, the years clouding like a fog.

But there was one perceptive mind you could not shake away.

"Hello, Miss [Name]," Zeke greeted you.

It always freaked you out to talk to Zeke.

Eren's brother. His last remaining flesh and blood. They looked nothing alike and you were thankful for that because the thought of Eren haunted you in the back of your mind.

"Hello, Mr. Jaeger," you said back. You tried to side-step him and shake him off, but he only followed you.

"Are you not at all intimidated by the thought of inheriting a Titan? For us Warriors, we train at a young age to mentally prepare ourselves. You don't have the luxury."

"It's atonement for the sins of my Eldian ancestors," you replied tonelessly. "I must follow the orders of Lord Tybur to repent well."

The speech was memorized and flat, and although it fooled most Marleyans, Zeke was unfortunately very intelligent and knew there was more to your words than you let on.

"How very expected of a loyal maid to the Tybur family," he drawled. He gestured to the headquarters, which was attached to the research facility that housed Marleyan scholars. "Wouldn't you like to know more about the Titan inside you?"

Acknowledging there was no escape, you reluctantly followed Zeke to the facility. "How did you know?"

"I just figured," he shrugged. "I mean, the festival in Liberio is happening next month. Lord Tybur will be here in Liberio, and he will want to know that the War Hammer is in competent hands."

He pushed open the doors to the Titan Biology Research Society. The facility resembled a mix between a library and a science laboratory. Endless rows of dark mahogany bookshelves with thick volumes lined the huge room like a maze. In one portion of the room, lights were flickering above open textbooks that showed scholarly work—deep theories and philosophies about the origin of Titans and the Eldians.

It sent a shiver down your spine to realize how different Paradis truly was. Hange did research fine, but not to this modern, pricey extent. Even you, who had lived for so long but always in Paradis, could not comprehend the technology and information collected before you.

You were reminded that you barely knew much about your own race—the Eldians, the history that gave you the ability to host Titan powers, and what was more, the Paths realm.

The Paths realm.

You had been there a few times, but you never understood how.

How could there just be something that connected you all, and your memories, and slowed down time?

You yearned for answers. Perhaps there was some way you could break the loop, some mad researcher who published a forgotten paper buried deep within the archives.

Your heart began to pound as Zeke took one particular book and flipped through it. A sense of foreboding overwhelmed you when you realized that the research paper he was holding was about the Paths indeed.

The Paths. The Founding Titan. Control. Time moves slower, and always forward in the real world, but not in the Paths, where everything is non-linear. You had Eldian blood. It had saved Eren from certain death, once. What if it could alter the real world into being non-linear too?

"When you get the Titan," Zeke began, sitting you down on a desk to examine the book, "you're sent to this domain called the Paths realm. It's full of sand and stars. Do you remember it?"

You played dumb. "What do you mean, realm?"

"The centerpiece is a huge tree called the Coordinate," said Zeke. "According to research, this connects us all to the Eldians. Our destinies branch out and intertwine here."

Curiosity got the better of you. You couldn't let this chance to ask questions slip past.

"It all goes back to Founder Ymir," you said with awe. "Your ancestor."

"That is correct." Zeke arched an eyebrow at you. The watchful gaze in his eye made you squirm—you were certain he found you suspicious somehow. "You've deduced this quite well. Natural, I presume."

"So..." you said. "How does time work there? If I'm in the Paths realm, can't I change things, like fate?"

Zeke hummed in thought. Maybe, just maybe, he was actually glad to have someone asking him these questions that he himself desired the answers to.

"This is all my speculation, but... with the Coordinate, our fates are rooted. It's like a tree. It has only one trunk, and it branches out from there. Branches can grow, but they can be cut short. The roots are the only thing that remains the same. You can try, I suppose, to alter fate, but you would have to uproot the tree. That's not easy."

"So... time in our world is not the same in the Paths," you said. "In the Paths, it's just... an endless expansion of moments, all happening at the same time."

"Something like that," Zeke said cheerfully. "It's a shame you were instructed to become a Titan shifter. You ought to be in the research field, no?"

You gave him a dry look. Maybe if you liked him more, you would find his thirst for education somewhat endearing. But he was a murderer like you, and murderers died. You only felt sorry for him for not knowing a better life.

"I don't like knowing too much," you said. "Too much information and knowledge can drive a person mad."

He shrugged. "True. But information and knowledge are useful tools that can help others, too."

"A double-edged sword," you relented.

Zeke smiled at you, the expression unreadable.

"You're smarter than you let on, [Name]," he said. "I hope you can share more of that with us."

Time. It moved like an hourglass, sand falling until there was nothing left. But the Paths realm was not constricted to an hourglass. It was an endless domain of sand, where Founder Ymir could mold things as she pleased. And the stars were not just stars. They were tears in reality. In that tree, you and Eren were there, the deadly fruits on the vine. Like Belladonna growing through the trunk.

Maybe it was different in the Paths, you thought.

"It's not just a loop," you whispered to yourself, alone at night in your poor quarters, because if you ever spoke of time loops with anyone else, reality would not permit the words to escape your mouth.

Maybe it was a collection of moments, all happening at once, branching out into different outcomes. Maybe it was not a loop. That was the benefit of being a Titan — you were connected to the Paths better. From there, you could at least try to understand, even if your mind was just a speck in the vast universe of time's reality.

-

It was sunset when you saw him.

You'd been in Marley for months now. It was agonizing and yet somehow, knowing everyone's fate, your heart did not ache when you thought about your friends, whom you'd missed so much. Your mind was one track, never letting up.

You sympathized with the Marleyans, yes. You did not feel at home in Liberio, or with the Tyburs, with their creepy underlying threats and the odd system of abuse because of a blood farce, but you did not hate it there nor the people.

You stayed away from the Warriors, dutifully studying the Titans' biology under Zeke's guidance. As you were not of the military, you did not need to be trained, as you were only a temporary vessel until one of the Tybur children would grow up and be able to claim the War Hammer. A wolf pretending to be a helpless lamb sent to slaughter.

You only ever had to be protected and understand the Titans, like a scholar.

Honestly, it wasn't such a bad life.

That was until you saw him at last.

You'd known the Eldian soldiers returned from the frontlines, but you couldn't avoid him forever. With a bandage wrapped around his head, dressed in a dirty white uniform, and clutching a crutch to support his weight now that he had amputated himself, was him. Like a ghost that came back to haunt you.

Eren.

He was on a bench, talking to the little blonde Warrior cadet boy, some poor kid named Falco, and you watched as he sent him off to deliver a letter.

The Liberio raid was due this week, and he had changed drastically in appearance—like an injured soldier, pitiful and helpless.

Your heart thumped. Traitorously. You didn't know if you should be disgusted that you were still attracted to him or if you should be glad to see him after so long, especially when your last meeting was a cold break.

Eren's single working eye flitted towards you and it pierced you like an arrow to the heart, practically killing you instantly. He had not known that you were in Marley. He would want to know why you were here. The last thing you wanted was for him to think that you were like Reiner, a backstabbing double-crosser.

Somehow, you knew he knew you were no traitor.

Eren had always known you best.

So it was no surprise when he spoke first.

"[Name]?" he said, and it nearly turned your legs into jelly when you heard just how sultry and low his voice had gotten, pronouncing every syllable in your name like he was invoking the title of a divine being wrapped in creamy silk.

"Eren." Truthfully, he had caught you and not the other way around. You didn't have to pretend to be momentarily surprised. "You're... here."

His hands—those fingers that were so damn encompassing, the fists he used to punch the beefy boys who bullied you because they 'liked' you as a kid—rested on his crutch before beckoning you to him like an offer.

You stared at each other. There was so much unsaid between you, and your eyes grew with longing.

"Come here," he said. "We have a lot to talk about."

-

A/N: The best way I can correlate the loops is to Plato's philosophical theory of metaphysics, aka the Theory of Forms. Things in our world are not "real"—they are just ideas that take form. Humans (or [Name] in this case) are prone to deception and unaware of the "true" reality because their understanding of the world is limited to their perceptions of it.

Every loop chapter has an "idea"—it's the first sentence you see before the red border, aka [Name]'s theories on how to alter the timeline. [Name] follows this idea and turns it into a form, but it is not the "true reality". She cannot see it—or rather, she rejects it. The "true reality" is her destiny, and the world of "forms" are the lives she lives in the time loops.

For further context, my university held a science course about the biology of Titans in AOT, which was so cool and insightful. This loop is a lot like Comrades, and the philosophy of the Paths realm makes itself known. Loop Nine is like if Comrades were flash fiction, and Y/N was a Titan. Part IV is Nine's final part.