My entry for Above the Pub's Peanuts 'Football' Competition.

My football's kinda pointy
Stead of being round
Makes it kind'a tippy
Falls right to the ground.

If only you could hold it
Stop it fallin' down
But I have a problem
Makes me kind'a frown.

What if you just snatch it
Like you always do?
How'm I gonna trust you?
What's a man to do?

Surely you won't snatch it
Make me look a fool?
You would never do that
It would be too cruel!

Right I'll take a run up
Coming really fast.
Just today I'll trust you
Get it right at last.

Going fast, then faster
Then I'm on the grass!
I can never trust yah
Just too much to ask!

Want help with your football
Never trust a dame
Women seem to think that
Football's just a game.