I went to Windsor Castle
To show the Queen my book.
I thought I saw the curtains twitch
But maybe I'm mistook.

The flag was flying as we came
But then they whipped it down
I thought I heard a lackey say,
"That bloody man again".

She doesn't have to buy the thing
Just maybe take a look
I'm up for being Laureate
It's why I wrote the book.

I'm often out in Windsor
But seldom see the Queen
It seems that she's avoiding me
And hides when I am seen.