this is just me expressing my feelings ill never be able to share properly with my best friend... 

<3

Dear Dorothea :

I hate your boyfriend I really do. 

He's not good to you and you know it . 

I know you just pretend it's real so you don't have to be alone. 

But I relish ever time I see you without him because you pretend I don't exist when your with him. I know I delusion when I see it in the mirror , I see myself just trying to fix the pieces of our broken friendship existence.

It's hard to love you when you only give me a moment. 

You say you love me but never give me the time of day. 

When you said he wasn't going with us to prom i REJOICED.

 whenever your with him , you become someone else and you act like I'm just an annoyance . 

But all I ever do is bend over backwards for you. You have a fight? Who's there with tissues? You need someone to vent to? GUESS WHO IS SITTING THERE.

All I ask is for that same attention back and I know I'm foolish hoping you'll see that.

Whenever I tell you you make excuses for your behavior you promise to be better , you promise to never hurt me again. But everyday , there's always a new thing.

I'm tired of you saying my interests are stupid. I'm tired of you telling me my words don't matter.

I'm tired of you telling me my trauma isn't real. But , once again, I'll fold to do what you want.

I always do , no matter what i feel .

I am exhausted and I am tired of you telling me that I shouldn't cry or feel as much as I do.

When you have no empathy for anything , no

Sympathy at all. Sometimes I wonder why I am still there for you. I feel like somedays I force myself because I know you can be a good person sometimes. Only sometimes.

Other days it's like someone else takes over and you hate the world . You hate me.

I know I'll never get it . But there's not a day that I won't try.

Love Betty.