September 15th, 2000

Prince's Perspective

"Don't write a check you can't cash Mrs. Nelson."

Eyes squinted, Jazz let out an innocent giggle. "What does that even mean?"

The batting of her eyelashes and perfectly symmetrical dimples made it hard for me to keep a stern tone. "Don't leave me hanging like you did yesterday."

As hard as she tried, Jazz failed to conceal her eye roll. "I'm sorry I ditched you and our mid-day booty call okay? Look I'll be back before you know it, I promise."

The subtle wink of her gold-pigmented eyelid only confirmed my suspicions, I wasn't going to see her for several hours. Just like the day before she had made plans to head into the city with some old friends, leaving the kids and I to create our own fun at Paisley Park. I didn't think of it as selfish to want to have the majority of her time, she's my other half.

The swaying of my leather chair halted as my wife took a stance in front of me. "Are you going to answer that or not?" I didn't know what she was referring to at first, but her slight head nod shifted my gaze in the direction of my office landline.

The red light had been flashing for several minutes. I knew who it was, they had been on the line listening to an instrumental of Beautiful Strange for this long so it obviously wasn't a life or death matter. Was I ignoring said person? Maybe, but my focus was elsewhere.

My eyes followed Jazz as her butt came in contact with the top of my desk, her ungodly camouflage capris crinkling exponentially. She rocked Laila side to side, her hunger slowly being satisfied by the liquid gold flowing from her mother's nipple.

Little acknowledgement came from Jazz as I took possession of her right foot and massaged her sole. The corners of her lips did rise, but only because she was lost in a love daze with the amber iris' staring up at her. "God, it's scary how much she's starting to look like you."

Any other time I would've taken offense to that. "Don't be jealous. La La tell mommy to stop hating on our good looks."

"I am not hating. You never know, she may turn out to be my twin in the future." And she claims that I have a big ego.

"Keep hope alive mama. We're still young and have so many more babies to ha—"

Jazz' manicured hand went up in protest, a forced laughter filling the room. "You are hilarious, you know that? You may get one more out of me, but that'll be like five years from now. Are you forgetting that I tore all the way to my asshole as a result of pushing her big head out?"

How could I forget? Jasmin was in pain for so long that I thought she loved her hemorrhoid pillow more than me. She had just gotten to a place where instead of crying out in pain, her whimpers were begging me to bring her to a mystical high time and time again.

Jasmin continued to rant but her words were quickly cut short when a dozing Laila sneezed and clamped down onto Jazz' nipple. "Fuck!"

Pretty sure that was my daughter's way of saying that she didn't appreciate the 'big head' jokes.

Jostled by how swiftly she was passed from her mother to me, Laila's bottom lip quivered uncontrollably. Once that first tear broke free, the rest flowed in like an unbroken stream.

"It's okay princess, mommy didn't mean to scare you." I looked over at Jazz, hunched over with my ice cold water bottle against her nipple and carrying on with the dramatics. She was a real character I tell you, calling out to Jesus himself before crossing over the blurred line and cursing under her breath. "J stop being dramatic."

The laugh I restrained morphed her look of pain into annoyance. "I swear if you weren't holding her I'd punch you in the balls so you'd know how it feels." She didn't mean that, she loves him too much. But I did flinch at the thought.

Everything went out the window when Noah burst through the stained-glass door, mahogany curls flailing all over and noticeably missing the Air Jordan's that completed his outfit. "Did you leave your shoes outside Noah?"

"Boss I have his shoes right here—Woah! Umm..." Troy walked in right when Jasmin removed the breast pump from her other nipple and was readjusting her bra. His hand flew over his eyes. "Yoo!! I swear I didn't see anything! My eyes never even once landed on your umm, your breasts Jasmin I promise! Prince please don't fire me man."

Now fully clothed, Jasmin walked over to Troy with Noah resting on her hip. "Troy it's cool, you're forgiven. I ain't made at you."

I was. I noticed the five seconds he took to get a good look before he shielded his eyes, game recognizes game. I had fired cats for less in the past, he wouldn't have been the first staff I would've had to let go for trying to put the moves on Jazz. But Troy was my head of security and practically family, for that reason alone kept me from kicking him to the unemployment line.

"T, don't let it happen again."

"It won't." And with that, he was off.

Jazz peeked at her rose gold watch. "I think I'm going to get going babe." Tapping her index finger against her chin, words addressed to no one in particular left Jazz' glossy lips as she surveyed every inch of the room. "P where are my car keys?"

My fingers were occupied with the task of prying Laila's hand out of my hair. "Baby your guess is as good as mine."

"Prince, come on now I know you probably hid them", she stated with certainty.

All I did was joke about hiding her birth control one time and I was now looked at as the prime suspect every time something went missing. She was gonna owe me a big, fat apology once she was proven wrong, in any form she'd like to give.

There was no need to defend my case, moments later we heard the distinctive jingling of keys as Noah ran over to his mama. "I found them mommy! I found them under the chair! Are we going Nana and Papa's house?"

She knelt down to his level and pecked his sun kissed cheek. "Not today boo. You're going to stay here with Daddy and Laila while I go run some errands, but I'll be back later okay?"

Noah fell into her arms. "No I wanna go! Please, please, pretty please?!"

"Not this time, but I'll make it up to you I promise." He deflected her affection and stomped over towards the sofa, the inner workings of a temper tantrum beginning to show. Glad to know that I wasn't the only one upset with Jazz' plans.

As she littered Laila's face with kisses, the separation anxiety had already begun to set in. One arm pulling her body into mine, my lips were nestled comfortably in the crook of her neck. "It's not too late to cancel, they'll understand."

Her body shivered against mine, a natural reaction to the low vibrations of my voice. "Don't tempt me." I savored the minty taste of her lips one more time before she pulled away. "How about you take care of dinner tonight? I'm going to pick up a lil' something to go along with your dessert."

"What's for dessert?"

Jazz' stride towards the door went unbroken as she smirked over her shoulder. "Me...if you play your cards right."

That teasing is what got her pregnant in the first place.

————

"You're a little diva like your mama, you know that? Can daddy put you down for two seconds?"

All Laila wanted was her daddy's love. She wanted it all, but Noah was quick to deflect her as he climbed up and wiggled his way onto my lap. Her curious eyes analyzed his every move. He leaned in to place a loving kiss on Laila's tawny skin, her pacifier falling from her lips as she graced him with a smile.

Don't let his sweet demeanor fool ya, for the first two months of Laila's life Noah gave us a run for our money. Temper tantrums left & right, his sudden desire to be held like his baby sister, everyday was a new lesson in fatherhood as we worked to give Noah the love and attention he craved.

My office phone rang for the fifth time in the last twenty-seven minutes. Each arm was occupied by one of my kids, thankfully my son was eager to help out and hold the receiver against my ear.

The new receptionist Darla sighed into the phone. "Sir, should I put her through to you again or tell her to try again another day?"

Eyes closed, my head fell back against my seat. "...Put her through." The mere seconds that it would take for the call to come through weren't enough for adequate mental preparation. "Noah go watch Keenan & Kel while Daddy handles some business."

Daddy's little girl fussed in her swing from the loss of contact, but my attention soon fell on the silence waiting for me on the line. "Talk to me."

"I thought I would never get ahold of you." I never thought I'd be conversing with my ex-wife again, but there I was. "Did you listen to my voicemails?"

"I haven't had time Mayte, I've been busy." For the most part that was true.

Her tone was snippy. "Yeah, I've heard that girl has been keeping you busy."

I gnawed on my bottom lip, thanking the heavens for her sake that my children were in the room. "Is there a point to your call?"

Static filled the receiver as she exhaled. "...I thought I should let you know that I'm selling our house in Marbella."

"It's your property, you can do as you wish."

"Prince, we also need to ta—"

Low, tearless whimpers from the swing next to me intensified, Laila's screaming in a way that was heart-rendering for anyone that was in earshot. "Just a minute Mayte." An agitated grumble left her mouth before she was put on hold, but I let it slide.

Her chunky little legs kicked with all of their might as I held her in front of me, the tremble of her lower lip making me melt into a puddle of goo.

"I know you're sleepy pumpkin, I don't know why you're fighting it."

Like clockwork her cries tapered off, the panicked sound replaced by soft grunts as she tried to get comfortable in my arms. I was no longer the ruler in my own kingdom. Even though Noah staked his claim first, it quickly became apparent that if anyone wanted some of my attention, they'd have to go through little miss Laila first.

I put Mayte on speakerphone, subconsciously hoping the line may have disconnected in a twisted turn of fate, but there was no such luck. "Sorry about that."

Papers rustled on her end. "Like I was saying, I'm going to be in town next week to come get all of my stuff. Do you have any particular day that I can meet you at the house...preferably when that girl isn't there?"

Was there any purpose in wasting time and scolding her? Her animosity was justifiable, but she was putting too much blame on Jazz. Both of them were victims in the tangled web I wove.

"The house is gone Mayte, I had it torn down."  7141 Galpin Blvd. was home for the better part of the last fourteen years. It hurt to see it crumble down to a gust of ash, simultaneously however the destruction freed me of all the heartache that occurred within those yellow walls.

I assumed her mahogany iris' reflected confusion, an audible gasp slipping from her lips. "But...how could you? All of our memories and—and the things I loved were there how could y—"

"I'll have someone meet you at Public Storage on Park Drive next week. They'll give you the keys to the storage units to get all of your things, but I won't be there." I wasn't heartless, never would I discard of someone's precious belongings like yesterday's trash.

Mayte heaved a sigh of relief, but took a long pause before continuing. "So everything is in there?"

"Yeah..."

"...Even Amiir's stuff?" I nodded but of course she didn't see my silent response.

"So you just put our son's stuff in boxes just to be thrown by the waist side and forgotten? His baby book, blankets...I wouldn't be surprised if you threw his ashes in there too."

Perched atop the second bookshelf on the other side of my office was the exact porcelain dolphin urn she spoke of. She painted me out to be a cold bastard, but I grieved along side of her. His memory wasn't cast away like she assumed, I could never. "That's what you think?"

"It wouldn't surprise me", she announced with confidence.

My blood began to seethe, amazed at how she thinks she knows everything when she doesn't know shit. "His ashes are here with me and that's where they are going to stay."

Sound became distorted as she yelled, "Like hell they will, he's my son!"

I snatched the receiver off of it's base. "He's mine too!" Laila became fidgety at my increase in decibels, Noah's soft brown iris' looking on and steady wondering what was wrong.

"I don't care about anything else Prince I just want my baby, that's it...please..." Each word was shakier than the previous one. "She's given you a baby, why can't I just..." Silence on the line soon turned into a hushed weep.

Lips pursed along the handset, unfiltered emotions seeped through my pores. Being confronted with how my actions ate away at her, this was why I avoided speaking to Mayte at all costs. Did I regret my adulterous ways? Yes...and no...it was all a double edged sword. I broke her in the worst way possible, but it wasn't my job to fix her.

Like a magnet, my gaze was fixated on the urn. The fuzzy grey area my mind sat in slowly began to see the light. He will always be with me, no matter what. It was shattering to let go, but I couldn't allow my pride to keep me from granting Mayte this one last request. "Okay...you can have them."

She was quiet for awhile, perhaps in disbelief that I gave in. "Are you there? Helloooo, earth to mighty Mayte."

I was finally graced with a brief giggle through her sniffles. "Sorry I'm here...but thank you...thank you."

"I'll have my assistant call you later on to get this all squared away. Mayte?"

"Yeah?"

"Take care of yourself." Wishing me the same, with the click of the dial tone another chapter of this novel came to a close.

A state of blues could never last as long as I had the airy tune of Laila's babbles ringing in my ear. "Are you trying to sing for Daddy already Lala?" She flashed me every bit of her gums, her chunky legs kicking furiously in delight.

The phone rang once more and this time it was Leo, the new sound engineer, chirping in my ear. "Lisa Lopes is asking for you down here in Studio B."

My train of thought was completely railroaded by the low grunts of the infant in my grasp followed by a rumbling that came from her "other" end. Noah ran over covering his nose and shrieked, "Eww Laila that's nasty you passed gas!" I was hoping it was a false alarm but I spoke to soon. "Ewww daddy look! Laila pooped out of her diaper!!"

Low and behold, a trail of brown sludge trailed down her leg and landed on my crisp white pants. My face wrinkled in disgust, however my bright eyed mini-me continued to squeal in amusement. "You just love to keep me on my toes, don't you princess?"