This is just for fun; It's all satire. I do not hate Eren, I just find him a little annoying at times.

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This contains anime AND manga spoilers, don't read unless you're FULLY caught up!

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~ Okay, so, we start you off with a nightmare that predicts everything that will happen. Are you okay? And then you just go and yell 'yap yap yap' and then hit a guy with a stick for making fun of the Scouting Legion. I get that the guy was a douche but c'mon let him live his life as an idiot why don't you?

~ Oh so you're going to yell at your mom for wanting to keep you safe and then run away? Dude, I know you're like 10 but geeze. Omg this is so sad he watched his mom get eaten. Good job Mikasa, you looked away and didn't get the image engraved into your mind for eternity. "I will kill them all. Every. Last. One! Until there are none left!!!" Uh, yeah. They're kinda all over the whole planet. Are you gonna have a meteor help you out or something?

~ Are you seriously still screaming? I know you mother was eaten, but I'd spend more time cuddled up in a corner and weeping my eyes dry instead of screaming about how angry I am. No, no, NO. This Armin kid looks like a nice little guy - Do not yell at him, he didn't do anything wrong. He brought you food for crying out loud!! You're throwing it back at him?! Little sh*t.

~ Thank you, Mikasa, for shutting him up and getting him to eat. Geeze that kid needs a therapist. Aw, he's crying finally. So now we have to feel sorry for him. Did I forget to mention how he kicked that guard? Look, this world is kinda cruel like Mikasa explains. There's nothing you can do about that guy's attitude. Just mentally kill him in your mind like a woman would and maybe he'll get eaten later on :)

~ Imma get strong, and kewl~ And wipe out dem Titans boom~ *CRASH* Can't use 3DMGear (I got that off of an Internet picture). I get it, make it realistic that he can't just get power right away. Time to face reality, kid!

~ Eren. There's a reason why they call it the Colossal Titan. It's freaking gigantic. It's over 50 meters. The usual big titans are about 15-20 meters. Did you really think you were gonna take it down by yourself, and so easily? Don't go and kill yourself!! But hey, he saw that it had intelligence. And I guess we have to admire your bravery and how serious you were about the "Kill Them All" thing.

~ Don't freaking yell at Mikasa like that! She doesn't know her own strength, of course she thinks that she'll get in the way of the people of higher rank. But nooo, instead of grabbing her shoulders and talking to her in the serious voice, let's headbutt her and scream "No one gives a f**k about what you want!" Really? I think you're a just a big meanie!

~ Mikasa is begging you, with her heart, to not die, and you throw her hand away and act like she's the idiot for considering something that is very possible? Dude! You're not super human (not yet at least)! She's showing extreme care for you and you just... ugh.

~ The Titan eats Thomas. He was a friend, he's been there for those 2 years (or whatever it was)... I can see how anyone would be angry, but the majority reaction was shock and fear. But...you didn't have to go after it! They should have given you mental classes or something of dealing with friend deaths or something, because, you know that little thing you did when you decided to run through a hoard of Titans by yourself to get one abnormal in particular - it kinda killed your whole squad and nearly killed your lifetime best friend.

~ But we need to make you look like a hero to draw attention from the impulsive act! So, let's take away your leg and have you slide across a few roofs where the impact was enough to probably kill you and surly break several bones (don't worry you just won't be able to stand), and let you lie there as Armin, paralyzed with fear, is staring Death in the face and you somehow can move to the Titan's mouth to pull him out. And you'll still have enough strength despite your blood loss to hold the mouth up and juust reach out.

~ Armin. Do not move. Not until the last. possible. second. THIS NEEDS TO BE AS DRAMATIC AS POSSIBLE. Let's pull an Edward Elric and have ya lose your arm, too. Wow, you definitely should be losing blood. What's this? The little stump that once was your arm and isn't spewing out blood? Whaaaat? Were you crying blood or something or is the stream of it from your eyes just for dramatic effect? How come your tears didn't smear it either? How fast did it dry?

~ You know, all of this must have been excruciatingly painful! Mix that with blood loss and boiling in the blood of other victims in a Titan's stomach.......how come you haven't passed out yet? Yeah yeah "I'm not done! I can't die here! I'll kill them all!!!" Oh duuuude luk at dis imma Teetin!

~ "I'm too weak to walk...and if I say the wrong thing, we're all dead." *Grabs Mikasa and runs to Armin and bites his hand to transform 2 minutes later*

~ Did you seriously say yes to an alcohol offer? Bro, you're 15. Well we need some comedy in this tragedy :)

~ Yeah. He survived all of that and he's 15.

~ You're really gonna say what's on your mind to the government of your place and expect them to consider it? Not only that but you're gonna scream it? This isn't convincing them that you're not a vicious man-eaten monster...

~ Thank you Levi. When I was an Eren fangirl, I thought you were a douche at this time but now I gotta say thanks for shutting him up.

~ Mikasa, chill. This is necessary.

~ It's amazing that you can trust your teammates enough that they won't die, especially when it was so hard the first time like 15 minutes ago. But please understand...it wants to capture you. So no matter what, move forward so that it won't do that. No, no, NO! Don't look back at the squad! Are you seriously gonna make us watch these characters get killed -- damn you.

~ Eren, baby, you should clearrrly see that this wonderful group of people have no chance of being saved. The story is a tragedy. 97% are gonna die. But okay let's go back to the thing you're supposed to stay away from so you can try and get revenge.

~ You got her pinned down! Damn, those punches were hard enough to break your arms? That's okay! You got her, do what you before and Rip her head off with yo teeth! ... ??? Uh, Eren? Okay......you're....screaming at it? No biting? Do we forget that we have teeth here!? BITE THE MOTHERFER ALREADY!!

~ Let's also fail miserably with this fight and get Mikasa to go mini yandere! (Yuno is so proud!)

~ This one is for Mikasa: We just wanted to save Eren. We didn't say anything about killing the FT. Now let's get Levi to break his ankle and be unable to fight at crucial times. Mom and Dad aren't going to be so proud of you since you put Eren before everyone else and got your relative hurt - wait they're dead.

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Again, this is satire - I don't mean to like bash the show despite how it really seems like it here. I was unfair with some of the arguments in these: I made these in hopes of getting someone to laugh. Did I? Or is it just me. Bleh. I really did have some logic problems with this though but what can you do?

So yeah. Don't take this seriously. Byeee :)