This is not a bash on the anime or story. I am not telling anyone not to read or to hate this story: This is all S A T I R E.

    ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○

    All of the problems from: Ao no Exorcist

   Episodes 1-2:

    1.) Okay, a huge exorcism going on. It seems like they called the best of the best here. Oh my goodness gracious,  they all got burned by fire! That was blue. Is there some huge meaning behing that or what? Scientifically, that's the hottest type of fire, so what exactly is going on here? Nope, skip to a random scene with a teenage boy! Why am I so upset: this is a shounen after all.

    2.) You just beat a guy up, look up to the sky, and then ask yourself what you were just doing? Short term memory loss or what?

    3.) "He's a demon! Run!" Wow, considering the title of this story contains the word "EXORCIST", way to spoil early on!

    4.) So he lives in a church and is in another confession: we must establish that he is a problem child right away!

    5.) What the hell kind of a pastor are you, getting excited by thr fact that your kid fell on a "really sexy babe" !?

    6.) Okay he wasn't really gonna take that lie seriously, right?

    7.) Oh, he did.

    8.) Twin brother? Dude, say fraternal at least: do you realize how much time I just spent laughing?

    9.) "Siblings that are polar opposites" cliché.

    10.) Oh, so the heater just happens to flare up with blue fire the instant the trouble boy they just called a "demon" earlier AND that it's the same color flames where an exorcism went wrong got angry. WHAT COULD THAT POSSIBLY MEAN? I should have just read the manga.

    11.) Cute boy with freckles and glasses, smart, got into a good highschool with a scholarship: wants to be a doctor. Why did I expect something else?

    12.) Trouble boy can't tie a tie.

    13.) You live in a church and obviously believe in God, but you say that ghosts/demons don't exist?

    14.) So this guy can't do anything, but he's pretty strong. Haven't we had enough foreshadowing already!?

    15.) BAM! He at least knows how to cook. Hot and a chef: everything a girl wants. Freakin shounen.

    16.) You clearly saw that the scarf was flying around in different directions, there obviously wasn't any wind, and the girl was pleading to "give it back" at seemingly nothing. She's also the same girl who was at your church earlier. And your father was talking about exorcists: you didn't take one little milisecond to connect the dots?

    17.) They freakin saw you save that girl's life and they fire you!?

    18.) "My life has suddenly changed forever after that incident" cliché

    19.) These little not-so-nice-looking dots are building up around the dude you punched earlier who has realistic fangs, horns, and a tail. What does that mean!? You seriously think it's a cosplay?

    20.) To show that he has some respect for his father's orders, Rin needs to hesitate just the slightest... and then step right out anyways.

    21.) Shouldn't you be worried that these guys who were shooting at birds and killing them for the fun of it and that also have the word "dangerous" written all over them are leading you into an area that's dark and where no one will see you? No? Okay.

    22.) This guy was freakin shooting birds in some random and empty part of town and he's rich and has famous parents? Lol no.

    23.) Did they really want to make it more dramatic by magically have a fire and burning metal to threaten Rin with instead of simply going with a knife like in the manga?

    24.) Yeah.......it took you to the point where he has to distort into some monster for you to realize he's not human? Did the horns, tail, and unhuman teeth not say anything!?

    25.) Covered in blue flames: They strike again! How many foreshadows is that...4? 5?

    26.) Satan's offspring. Out of ALL demons, it had to be Satan! This all makes sense now! No it doesn't.

    27.) "Seemingly normal father comes to save the day and is actually a total badass" cliché.

    Yes, I have been watching CinemaSins!

    28.) Okay dude, that was freaking awesome!

    29.) "You're the son of Satan." Yeah, we were informed about that like 46 seconds ago.

    30.) Wait, so, spirit wounds are earned from getting an illness or a direct wound from a demon, right? And if you get them, you can see them. There are a lot of effin demons just wandering around. Shouldn't everyone have a spirit wound with that many of them around?!

    31.) A demon-slaying blade that will release all of his powers if he draws it.

    32.) "You must never do this with your power or else you'll never be the same!" cliché.

    33.) "Get away from here and contact this person I know, they'll help you." cliché.

    34.) Usually, the person who says any line similar to that dies.

    35.) Gray hair demon guy shows back up and wrecks the church even though this was never in the manga just to fill up the 23 minutes required in this episode.

    36.) "You're not my dad!" cliché.

    37.) I honestly have no words for how Satan acts here.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY SON! DAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

    38.) "Pulled into a situation where he must do the very thing he was told never to do" cliché.  I say this because I just have a feeling this has happened before even though I honestly have no recollection of that happening in anything I've watched.

    39.) Nope, daddy is still dead.

    40.) "Realizing that the last things he said to his family member were nothing but insults and now heavily regrets it" cliché.

    41.) Yukio arrives just after everything happens and doesn't even stop for a second to question what the hell just happened in the church and goes right to his dead father and passes his brother kneeling down with a sheathed sword, pointy teeth, pointed ears, and a tail. For a smart kid he's just ah whatever.