A/N the title is an allusion

Readers POV

  "(F/N)! Hey want me to take you home?" Roxy takes your hand and begins to lead you.
  "Thank you Roxy but I promised John I would meet up with him today. It seems like it was important." She drops your hand and faces you. Smiling deviously; she pushes you backwards until you find yourself against a set of lockers.
  "Is he gonna ask you out?" She bounces her eyebrows at you, you scoff. Roxy was many things, but subtle was not one.
  "No! It's John for crying out loud!" She releases you, but doesn't let you leave.
  "Come on then (F/N), how do you KNOW it's important?"
  "He told me it was! And he gave me a note..." You can't tell her about the code, John likely wouldn't want that. He was so secretive earlier.
  "He told you it was important? Will you two be... Alllooonnnneee?" Jeez it's like talking to a brick wall today.
  "As far as I know, yes."
  "Hm." She's trying to get you worked up, you can feel it.
  "Just, 'Hm.'?" She nods, then continues,
   "He has something important to tell you, while you are alone... Sounds like he wants to talk about lllloooooooovveeeee," the grin is now plastered to her face. She is scaring you, in more than one way. How easily she can hold that grin, and how that seems like a valid point. What if John- NO. Don't think about it, face it when or if the time comes. That's probably not it at all.
  "Roxy you are insane. But I do have to go now. I will see you tomorrow." You race down the hall, and wave to Roxy once more. Time for a little walk.

Karkat's POV

THIS MAP SUCKS. The landmarks are random and stupid. It literally begins "60 paces just past the Arby's" not even in a specific direction! But what you've gathered from the wobbly line it seems to point east, thanks to the compass rose in the lower right hand corner. You hum to yourself as you count the paces, you follow the next step 100 paces north. After that it says "the trees will guide you" whatever the fuck that means.

*time skip due to lazy writing*

  As you approached the wooded area, you noticed something very brightly colored mix in among the trees. As you got closer it became more clear what it was. It was a orange and yellow blanket on the clothes line, drying in the wind. You go over to it, hoping that it may have a clue, before you get too close you see an orange arrow spray painted on to a tree nearby.
  "I guess I'm letting the fucking trees take the lead," you whisper to yourself, mildly laughing at your own dry humor. Your hand grazes over the line and find its still tacky, and it tints your hands orange as well. Following the arrow you come across another, and another, until you see an X on the ground. You don't remember anything about an X on your map. You pull out the paper in your back pocket and quickly unfold it. "Stand on the spot then face west." Well you suppose X marks the the spot. You do as instructed, you notice a certain stillness about the forest. As if perhaps it's quieter than usual, maybe the animals have dispersed since they don't want to be around trolls? A sigh escapes your lips, then you read the next instruction "crab walk north for 81 crab paces." You decide to read the rest of the instructions, obviously this one is a gag right? But then you notice the rest are also silly, and nonsensical; kicking yourself for not reading all of the instructions sooner you decide to fold up the map and head back. Obviously you've been duped. You turn around and come face to face with a human in a white mask, with a long beak like nose. A blue-ish robe covers most of them, a hood is pulled tightly over their head, leaving all but the center of their face shrouded in mystery. Their eyes are a piercing color of blue, but their presence leaves you feeling cold. Before you can work up the nerve to ask what's happening your vision is obscured, there is something over your head, and someone behind you. You yell out, then everything goes black.

  JOHN'S POV

Finally Karkat is in position, you walk up behind him cautiously and wait for him to notice you. You've been practicing keeping a straight face, but it's a little difficult. The hood and robe you are wearing are so awesome, you have been waiting a long time to use this. This and your mask. When you got it you thought it was a plague Doctor mask, it turns out to be a Zanni Mask, but it is still super cool!
   Karkat turns toward you and you see his breath catch in his throat. You remain calm and collected, trying to look intimidating. In the corner of your eye you see Jake coming up behind him, the sack in hand. You are so glad you invested in these masks. It makes it seem that much more official. Karkat is about to get what's coming to him.
    He opens his mouth as though he is about to say something, then closes it. At this point Jake is directly behind him, then he throws the burlap sack over his head. Karkat's hands go to his face and he starts yelling.
     "FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING? HELP! HELP SOMEBODY I'M BEING KIDNAPPED! FUUUUUCCCKKKK-" you panicked. You punched in the face, and it seems to have knocked him out. Jake pulls his mask up, gives you a stern look while supporting Karkat's weight. You go over to him and help rest him of the ground. You suppose you are lucky that Jake is a boyscout, because he knows how to check to make sure he is okay. You didn't want to hurt him yet.
  "He's fine, not in shock, breathing is normal. Let's just go before we get caught." He's right, you lift Karkat up bridal style and make your way to your "base".

A/N I hope you like this chapter and thanks for reading! Please leave feedback in the comments!