I wish I had something real with you what we have now is nice I guess but I want something I want to be able to tell people that yeah we are I think not know we're just friends I want to be able to just fall into your arms and not care about what anyone else thinks that I can't the stuff we have now it's weird you only ever text me when you want something or whatever or can't you just text me to text me why do I have to hurt everyday wishing it was me you loved and that you love me for me fuk it why am I like this why can't I forget you why can't I think about you without feeling my heart drop to my stomach and why can't I think about you without crying I just want to be yours not a fuck and go I want something I want something real.

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so you have those eyes they're so beautiful and amazing and so freaking easy to get lost in and that's exactly what happens I end up looking at your eyes that are almost always dark and sad and I get lost I can't help it really I think back to all the times I trip and make a fool of myself in front of you on purpose just to see your eyes light up and you laugh I think back to the time when you weren't Seth time and even if you were I can make you laugh I think about how I lay awake at night thinking about you knowing damn well you aren't doing the same thing I think about you a lot and if I'm being honest I think about you pretty much all day everyday so yeah I daydream a lot especially about you and yeah I'm with my dude but I give up I know I like you I definitely like you alot and I know that you don't feel the same way about me but it's okay I guess

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you're really amazing you don't give yourself that much credit and you say you aren't all that I think you are you don't get what I seen you you don't understand why I like you so I'm I'm guess I'm going to tell you.

I think you're amazing and I don't know why but you high key gets me a happy kind of feeling like talking to you seeing you and be near you all kind of makes me happy I tell you always joke around no matter what the circumstances is I like how when you laugh like actually laugh not one of those polite fake laughs like a real laugh I like how your whole face kind of scrunches up in your eyes somehow look different probably because it's happiness your eyes are so freaking pretty they're brown but a golden brown and they suit you they're just in general hecka pretty and amazing but they're always so sad at times that you can look lifeless almost so I try to act funny or silly or stupid around you so I can see your ice dance and shine with amusement and kind of happiness even if only for a moment I've kind of been hoping that one day I'll be able to walk into a room and see your eyes light up without doing anything just like they did with Taylor. I understand I'm not hurt I know it will never be but I still hope that one day I'm the reason you're happier that person you look forward to seeing during the day like the way you make me happy at random times for random things and how I look forward to seeing and talking to you I know that the way I feel about you is different than how you feel about me and how you ever feel about me that I guess I wish we had was different I guess we had something real