Help,help help help HELP!!!

I just
..

I cant live like this anymore!!!

I dont wanna harm myself or anything i just

I cant be happy anymore, I've tried. Many times in fact!! but nothing makes me happy anymore!! Even my girlfriend just makes me less sad BUT NOT HAPPY!!! I dont wanna tell her that since shes basically the only will I have to live right now!! All i want is death, honestly I se no reason to live anymore!

My ' friend ' is just making me feel like shit at the moment when all I do is for her!!! I even go out of my self place and stick up for her at school to people who could probably break my neck in one go!!! She does fuck all back but she is nice at times, and I SWEAR she thinks having a mental illness is a personality trait!!!! I have another friend who has actually been diagnosed with chykopathic behaviour and has lashed out on people in the past. There has a year 7/ freshman in our way at school and I asked them to politely move since I'm like the only polite one at school and thay just looked at us then carried on talking with there friends so my friend grabbed there arm twisted it behind there back and shoved them into a wall making here nose bleed. Besides the point, ALL MY 'FRIEND' DOES IS GO ON ABOUT HOW SHE THINKS SHE HAS ' SPLIT PERSONALITY DISORDER ' AND ' CRIPILING ANXIETY ' WHEN IM THE ONE WHO CONSTANTLY HAS SILENT PANIC ATTACKS IN SCHOOL, AND IM THE ONE WHO LITARLY HAS DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES!!!

Alac : my child perosna around 7
Victor: my ' bad boy ' sorta persona who doesn't really give a shit
Linda : my mother like persona, I say shes an alcoholic because I always get really thirsty when I'm in her persona
Cynthia : something along the line of ' insane ' or something. All I think about is death and when ever I looked at people all i see is a way to murder them and i act really creepy according to my friends.

I have really good friends in my year and some 2 years above me so thay will be leaving next year( I cried, a lot )

But I constantly feel there talking about me and it triggers my anxiety which makes me have a mental breakdown FUNNNNNNNN

PFFFFTTTTTTTT

Not to mention personal problems.

I try making jokes but when no one laughs or join in I just feel like I'm being annoying and stop. I feel like I cant talk to anyone about my problems at all and my family dont exactly help that. Thay never see what the problem is and my siblings always come in when I try and talk to my mum and my step dad isn't the best to talk to and even if j did get ti talk to my dad he never understands or just says ' focus on the positive ' LIKE, BISH-

* sigh* I just, i can't do it anymore . I want to die so bad, to just escape this miserable place.

Practically no one realises o feel like this as well. I want to draw my feelings but it turns out TERRIBLE and makes me feel worse about myself.

Welp, I have art homework to do. Peace out my dudes and dudets

* walks backwards into a closet while doing finger guns * 👈 ( ° -° ) 👈