Me- "I'm in my first hour class on the first day of the school year and I'm already shitting myself with how bad I'm gonna fail all my classes."

"You know what happens to bad people? THEY BURN!"

"Get away you soulless GINGER!"

"Oh, it's circus day. I'm gonna go kill my self now." - JuniWuni (my bff)

"FUCK! Fuck my life! I'm gonna kill my self! STUPID BELL!" - JuniWuni

"No! No one gets my love and affection, I'm a heartless BITCH!" - JuniWuni

"Oh so holocaust jokes are fine but racism is where we draw the line."

"Move bitch! I hate you! Go burn!"

"I don't know what the fuck we are!" - JuniWuni

"Fear the wrath of my swarm of ladybugs!"

"I want a better person!"-student
"Oh yeah? Well I want a better student!"- teacher to student

"Show me your face! Does it look good?!"-student to teacher

"I woke up and there was clown blood everywhere!"- teacher to class

Me- "Oh it's ok! She was just laughing because I can't read!"

"I don't know how doors work!" - JuniWuni

"Just saw a dude rocking out to recorded animal noises. Freshmen are wierd af!" - JuniWuni

"Oh so you only have 18 kids with this woman and you wanna marry her?  What about me? We have 200 kids, why haven't you proposed to me yet?" - JuniWuni
"Fine! Will you marry me?!" - me
"NO! I hate you!" - JuniWuni
"Well I hate you too!!"- me
"Wanna have hate sex?!" - JuniWuni
"Yes!"- me

"We have cyborg hate sex in the park!"

"My ass is on my shoulder and that's how I like it!" - me

"I'm like a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter, and he's like a rocket!!"- BFF

"She's sitting on my candy!"

"Porn and it's readers should be left in peace!"

"Do birds make love?"

"Vegiemite - it tastes like licking the floor of a taxi cab.."
"..How would I know?.."
"..I've been to college"

"Crutch – mobile, more like the crippling depression mobile"

"I can't see my face!"

"Photosynthesis is a government conspiracy!"

"You're a very dysfunctional caboose"

"Satan and his mighty mayonnaise, he uses the "secret sauce""

"You are like man spider, a spider that got bit by a man. He was just a genuine spider that was bitten by a radioactive man."

"Let's smash our dreams"

"Alright Dianna's a pig."

"I hate snails! They're slow like my internet!"

"Don't touch me with your fake boobs!"

"NO DAD! We're lesbian and and we're doing incest! LEAVE US ALONE!!!"- me and my bestie

"just because you have that fetish doesn't mean I have it too, you stupid huck!"

"They say diamonds are the hardest substance on earth, they haven't felt my nipples in the winter!"

"Oh my GAWD guys you're getting your PDA ALL OVER MY LEGS!!!!"-Me

"How the hell do you hurt yourself with a lollipop?!"-Me
"Hey! I cut myself with a spoon once! Don't you question me!"- My friend

"My body is not a temple, it can be destroyed!"

"This is an A B conversation so C your way out of it before D jumps over E and beats the F out of U!"

"I don't need friends, they just disappoint me."

"Oh my gosh! My best friend's pig FUCKED MINE!!!! -bff to me

"It's not illegal to love someone, but it IS illegal to looove someone! *humps air*" -best guy friend

"There's a new sherif in town!" -says guy in shorts, with a tropical backpack and a cowboy hat

"How many of you either have a girlfriend or boyfriend?"-teacher to entire class
*few students raise their hands*
"Ok well the rest of you are never gonna find anyone."

"Ghost are almost always Old dead white people. Apparently white people just. Can not let it go. They're bitter and angry"

"SUFFER YOU SHREW!!" - teacher to student

"We were talking about how everyone you date turns gay!"

"There's a time and place for everything children, and that time is college."- teacher to class

"Alright everyone shout death on 3!
1-2-3 DEATH!!!!"

"Now it's time for the dance of the salad. I would call it something else, but it's not appropriate and I wanna keep my job." -teacher to class

"The only thing softer than my scarf , is my hair. The only thing smoother than my hair, is my charm."

"Snatch that bald legged little boy-man!!!"

"What'cha doing there...?"
"I'm walking my seagulls!"
*points to a large colony of seagulls tied by strings instead of leashes, and they're all in American revolution suits*

"What's an utter fuck?  Who says that? Is that like when you fuck a cow's utter?"-my bff

"I think you just touched my heart with your massive werewolf dick!"

"I pulled this out of my magic bag! But I can't legally show you anything else!"

"I stole a toy from McDonalds and ended up in the same cell as a rapist."

"You are a mean, bitter, little troll! And that's why no one likes you!"

"Wait, what are we doing?"
"The thing we've been talking about for the last 20 minuets!! You straight haired mistake!!!"

"I don't like me either but you don't see me complaining about it!"- me

"Look here asshole, I ain't no trash can, I'm the trash!!"-me

"Let me die like I lived- face down in a bowl of queso"-Teacher to class

"Aaron you are a disappointment and you'll never know the love of a good person"-Teacher to student

"If you're gonna die, might as well die drunk!"

"Geez! Haven't you ever cast blood magic before?! LETS GO!!"

"This is the best sandwich ever! Also, I can see my hand breathing!"