Interviewer: Are you a Potterhead?

Potterhead: No.

Interviewer: I solemnly swear...

Potterhead: ...I am up to no good.

Interviewer: I can see them too.

Potterhead: You're just as sane as I am.

Interviewer: The chamber of secrets has opened.

Potterhead: Enemies of the heir beware.

Interviewer: Piertotum Locomotor! 

Potterhead: I always wanted to use that spell!

Interviewer: She's only interested in you because she thinks you're the chosen one. 

Potterhead: But I AM the chosen one.

Interviewer: *slaps with pamphlet* Get out.