Gratsu Bingo 2019
Prompt: Life

Chapter 7

"That, that's impossible," Natsu protested after doing the math in his head, "That would make you like forty-four."

Zeref sighed, "I know this will be hard for you," he chided, "but I need you to just listen as much as you can."

Natsu glared at the man across from him, not sure what to call him at the moment.

"Igneel wasn't from Alvarez, he was from the neighboring country of Rivera," Zeref began his story, "He'd been hired by my father as his Minister of Foreign Relations."

Natsu looked about ready to say something else, but Zeref shook his head, "Just listen."

"He was a quiet man until you got to know him, and for some reason, he took an interest in me, which surprised me. I wasn't exactly social back then, my nose always in a book as I sought to learn everything I could, hoping to make my father proud when my time came to take his place."

"Igneel would force me to go on small errands with him, saying I would become sickly if I didn't breathe some fresh air every once in a while. It used to make me so angry, I thought it a waste of my time. But soon I found myself looking forward to these excursions," a small smile played on Zeref's lips as he talked, and it was easy to see Zeref had loved Igneel as well.

"He had this way about him that made everything seem interesting, and I found myself learning so much more than I ever had from books. He was also a sneaky teacher," Zeref chuckled, remembering some of the things Igneel would do.

"I remember this one time I observed him practicing with a sword. He ignored me completely the whole time I watched, and by the end, he had me practically begging him to teach me. Only to learn the next day, my father had already asked him to become my weapons instructor."

Zeref noticed the hunger in Natsu's eyes at his words and coughed, "Sorry, I got carried away."

"Anyway, as I got older, he became one of my most trusted advisors. I didn't know much about his life before he came to Alvarez, but I did know he loved children. His entire face would light up in their presence. It wasn't until much later that I found out he'd lost his daughter to crib death," Zeref revealed.

"I married your mother, Sona, and soon we were expecting our first child," Zeref peeked over at Natsu who was gazing down at the locket with a puzzled expression, "I'm not really sure who was more in love with you when you were born, him or me," Zeref tensed as he felt Natsu's eyes on him, eyes that were burning with so many questions he couldn't answer yet. Zeref held his son's gaze and tried to smile, "For a time, our family was very happy."

Gray tensed knowing what was coming, but Natsu was too enthralled by Zeref's words to notice. He was a bit surprised at how Zeref was glossing over Sona and who he was, but he guessed maybe Zeref was just trying to keep it about Igneel for now. He could tell Zeref had told his mom something because she met his gaze before looking over at Natsu sadly.

"But by the time you were two, my father became ill, and I had to take over his job. Everything changed. I made some bad decisions, and your mother was killed because of it," Zeref looked down at his hands, still unable to hide his sorrow at his wife's loss.

"I lost myself in my grief, and I lost sight of you," Zeref's voice broke and Natsu moved over to him, not touching him but placing himself nearer where Zeref could touch him. Zeref's eyes widened at the gesture, but he didn't take him up on it.

"But, uhm, Igneel, he was there. He took care of you when I wasn't able to, and he never made me feel guilty over it. He would just make sure I saw you every day, and it helped. You helped so much, but it wasn't enough then, and I'm sorry."

"There are so many things I would take back if I could, stupid things I did, choices I made," he laughed bitterly, "but you're not one of them, and by the time I realized that it was too late. My mistakes had caught up to me, and Igneel had to flee the country with you to keep you safe."

"And that's what he did, for as long as he could. He kept you safe, until the day he was spotted by our enemies," Zeref implored Natsu, "You have to understand, Igneel never wanted to leave you, but he was afraid if he went home he might lead them to you. They would most certainly have killed you."

"Igneel knew Ur would take care of you, so he decided to head back to Alvarez and try to get me out of prison. He thought if he could manage to get me out, I would be able to protect you."

Natsu was beginning to get restless, his body fidgeting as he tried to remain quiet. It wouldn't be long now before the questions started to pour out.

"He was captured crossing into Alvarez from Rivera, and he was imprisoned. The few times we were able to talk, he told me all about you. They, uhm, tried to get him to reveal where you were, but he never broke. He was executed a few months after his capture, and I was forced to watch," Zeref continued talking, but the strain was beginning to show, his hands were shaking more and more with each word.

"He loved you so damn much," Zeref managed a smile, although it was weak and tinged with sadness.

"Why are you telling me all this?"

"Because I want you to understand that I loved him too. Igneel was father, brother, mentor, and friend all rolled up into one. He opened my eyes to what life could be and the fact that I disappointed him so many times is a regret I'll never get over. I really do wish I could have died in his place. Then at least, you'd be happy."

Natsu gasped, "Don't say that! I don't want you to die. God, I shouldn't have said that! I was just...," he bowed his head in shame, his fingers automatically playing with the blades of grass at his feet.

"It's alright, you were upset. There's nothing to apologize for. You were Igneel's son in every way but one, and I fully accept that. I don't want to take his place in your heart, I never could. But, I love you too, Natsu. I know it was wrong of me not to tell you all this earlier, but I just wanted to see if you could love me for who I was."

"You are such a dumbass," Natsu rolled his eyes, "Of course I love you, do you think I would have stuck with you if I didn't? Hanging out in Alvarez and getting shot at wasn't exactly my idea of a good time."

"Shot at?!" Gray glared at Zeref with all the ire he could muster, "He was getting shot at?"

Zeref ignored him, he could only handle one verbal altercation at a time.

"Listen, Gray and I are going to get some food for all of us, we'll be back in a bit," Ur grabbed Gray by the arm and pulled hard. He wanted to stay and learn more about what had happened, but his mom's grip was like a vise. Gray gave her a surprised look, but when Natsu didn't protest his leaving, he gave him a quick hug.

"I'll be back soon." he whispered in Natsu's ear, "I know this is a lot to take in, but please don't do anything stupid while I'm gone."

A terse nod was the only reply he received, but it was something. Gray followed his mother away from the duck pond and back toward the cars. He was sure she probably wanted to change out of her wedding clothes as well, and her house was nearby.

"Zeref, I don't get any of this. What is this danger you keep talking about, why wouldn't Igneel tell me?" Natsu asked as soon as Gray and Ur were out of sight.

"I already told you, to keep you safe. You were very young, all of this would have only scared you, and perhaps he thought it best if you forgot some things."

"Like what?"

Zeref remained silent, and it was beginning to piss Natsu off.

"You say you're my father," Natsu said matter-of-factly, "but you're not telling me how the hell that's even possible."

"When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much —," Zeref intoned, immediately shutting up when he caught sight of Natsu's irritated glare.

"Fuck you! That's not funny, Zeref."

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm just feeling a little vulnerable right now."

"You're feeling vulnerable?" Natsu raised an eyebrow at his father.

"What the hell could you possibly be scared about? I'm the one who just found out the guy he thought was his brother is actually his father. It's like a scene from one of those soaps Ur watches. How can you be my father and not look much older than me?"

"Natsu, please don't ask me this now," Zeref begged, "I told you all of this because I wanted you to know what Igneel meant to me, and I wanted you to understand what you meant to him."

"How can you expect me to believe you when you won't tell me anything," Natsu complained, "I spent two years with you, and all I learned about you is that people seem to want to kill you. Why?"

"If I answer that will you back off on the other stuff for now?"

Natsu nodded, and Zeref thought about how to best answer the question.

"I was the Emperor of Alvarez before I was imprisoned."

"The what? You're joking, right?"

"No, I'm not. Our family has ruled Alvarez for hundreds of years. Acnologia, the current Emperor, is my cousin, but when I was removed from power, the rightful heir should have taken my place. That would've been you, Acnologia is aware that he doesn't belong on the throne, and he will stop at nothing to get rid of you. With you gone, he can finally claim it for himself."

"Are you trying to tell me I'm some kind of Prince?"

"Yes, but I don't want that life for you. Alvarez means nothing to you, its people are not unhappy with the current rule. I want you to be happy. Once I knew you were safe with Gray, I had planned on leaving."

"What?! You were going to leave? Why?"

"I've already told you more than I meant to. There are things about me that would be difficult for you to accept and would only bring you grief. I'm happy for the time we've had together, but maybe it's best if I move on."

"No, fuck you! You can't just tell me you're my dad and then disappear. Don't I get a say?"

They stared at each other, eyes locked in a contest of wills, neither one wanting to be the first one to look away. Zeref finally looked down, worn down by the anguish with which Natsu was gazing at him.

"You want me to stay? Even after hearing all this?"

"I've lost too much already, I don't want to lose you too, Dad."

"Natsu," Zeref was flustered, he hadn't expected Natsu's words or to be so affected by them. "There's lots more about me, things I only glossed over. Things I'm not proud of."

The sheer anxiety in Zeref's eyes scared Natsu. Maybe it was best if he backed off, for now. He could tell there were dark secrets hidden in those eyes. Demons that would have to be fought at some point, he just hoped that maybe Zeref would let him fight them with him.

"I don't care about that, I honestly don't think I can absorb anything more right now. When you're ready, you'll tell me, and we'll figure it out. Just, please don't go. I don't think I can handle that."

Zeref thought about Natsu's words, he desperately wanted to stay here. He wanted to watch his son grow, to be a part of his life. Natsu had found a family here. Gray and Lyon cared for him deeply and Ur, although somewhat terrifying, had taken care of his son for years and genuinely loved him.

To be part of a family was something he'd never thought he'd get a chance to have again. As he pondered these thoughts, Ur and Gray returned with two large pizzas and plenty of drinks. They'd even brought a large bag of bread crumbs.

Gray handed the bag over to Natsu shyly, "I thought it might be nice to feed the ducks, Igneel would have like that, right?"

Natsu beamed, "He would have loved that."

He got up and grabbed Gray by the hand, dragging him closer to the water.

"You knew about Zeref, didn't you?"

"Yeah," Gray admitted, not sure how Natsu would react, "He told us last night. Lyon thought there was something fishy, so he confronted him. He showed us the picture and told us who he was, and then he told us about Igneel. I didn't think it was my place to tell you, but if he'd left, I would have."

Natsu chuckled, "You two have always had my back, huh?"

Natsu moved closer to Gray until their bodies were almost pressed together, and he could look into the other's eyes, "How did I never see it? When did it turn to like?"

"Freshman year, when you started hanging out with Lucy all the time," Gray smiled at the memory, "At first I thought I was just jealous because she took up so much of your time, but I could tell it didn't bother Lyon nearly as much."

"God, we wasted so much time," Natsu groaned before moving his hand to Gray's cheek, his thumb moving in gentle circles, "I thought about you so much."

Natsu tilted his head up and to the side as he leaned in and pressed his lips against Gray's, closing his eyes and letting himself enjoy the warm pressure of Gray's response before nibbling on Gray's bottom lip and tentatively darting his tongue in the space between his lips. He could feel Gray smiling as he opened his mouth slightly, enough for Natsu's tongue to enter and begin exploring.

Strong arms encircled Natsu's waist, and now Gray was moving his tongue into his mouth too, making Natsu feel tingly all over. They continued kissing until with a last soft kiss they pulled away.

Natsu licked his lips slowly, savoring the taste of Gray on them. He broke into a grin and declared, "That's what I had wanted to do at the party."

"Hmm, I don't think I would have been able to let you go after a kiss like that," Gray admitted with a lazy smile, "I hate how you did it, but you were probably right. If I'd gone with you, I would never have let you get close enough to Zeref for you to find out who he was. Just please, no more secrets."

"No more secrets," Natsu agreed, "The only ones I'm interested in belong to Zeref anyway."

"Be patient, he's had it rough too," Gray advised, which was as close as he would come to revealing any of the things Zeref had confided in them.

"You know, it was so weird to see this picture of my mom," Natsu commented as he looked at it again before trying to put the locket around his neck and failing to close the clasp.

"Here, let me," Gray turned Natsu around and worked the clasp closed, tugging it gently to make sure it had locked, "She was a beautiful woman. You look a lot like her."

"I've seen her in my dreams, some of them not so pleasant," Natsu's eyes were clouded, it scared him to think of those nightmares, even though he couldn't remember much about them. He always woke up in a cold sweat, his heart racing impossibly fast.

"Maybe you should ask your dad about her, he seemed to love her a lot."

"Yeah, maybe," Natsu replied, biting his lip as he thought about whether that was something he wanted. He knew there was something terrible connected to his mom and her death. Could feel it in his bones. He wasn't ready to hear any more tragedies.

"You know, none of this was what I had in mind for when I returned," Natsu muttered, putting his arms around Gray's neck and holding him close.

"It's fine, you are back, and that's all I care about," Gray grinned, "I meant it, I'm not letting you out of my sight. Look at all the trouble you get into."

Natsu scoffed, "Like you're much better."

"You know, Lyon is moving out as soon as he returns, you and Zeref could move in," Gray pointed out already looking forward to long nights spent together.

"Damn, I must be a pretty good kisser if you're asking me to move in already," Natsu teased as he thought about Gray's offer.

"As if, I just don't want to waste any more time. I love you, and I know pretty much all there is to know about you. Why wait?"

"I'm not sure if Zeref would feel comfortable shacking up with me and my boyfriend," Natsu hesitated, he felt that if he left Zeref on his own, he might just disappear, despite his assurances to the contrary.

"If you want me to stay, then I would actually be just fine with it. Or I could always get a different place in the same building." Zeref piped up behind them, smirking when they both jumped. "Ur sent me to get you, she's starving."

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Zeref prodded, daring to hope things could work out for a while.

"It might take me a while to call you Dad, but yeah, I think we both need this."

"Okay, then I'll stay for as long as you want me," Zeref looked so hopeful that Natsu couldn't help but wrap him in a hug, to reassure him.

"I do want you," Natsu felt sad once more, all of this made Igneel's death feel more real, but he hid it behind a smirk, "Now, let's go eat, I'm starving too, and I haven't had pizza in like two years. Your aristocratic ass is gonna love it."

Zeref snorted and followed Natsu back to where Ur had laid out a blanket. They ate and laughed, Natsu and Gray sitting close together, their hands never far from each other, while Ur caught Zeref up on some of the things Natsu, Lyon and Gray had gotten into as kids. They made a few toasts to Igneel's memory, and Gray could only hope that wherever he was, he was seeing this and was happy to know Zeref and Nasu were back together again.

When the conversation quieted down, Natsu nudged Zeref, pointing to the locket that now hung around his neck. "Can you tell me about her?"

Zeref practically beamed with excitement to be asked, "Her name was Sona, and she was the most beautiful woman to ever walk the streets of Alvarez. I met her in the summer of my twentieth year, and I knew then, there would never be anyone else for me. Her smile could light up any room she walked into...."

Gray glanced over at Natsu, who was holding on to every word, and he thought he knew precisely what Zeref meant.

A/N: This is the end of this particular story, a friend pointed out that she would like very much for each to find out about the other's time in those two years apart and I might get around to writing it at some point as an epilogue or something but there are a few things I still need to work on for the bingo first.

This story kind of evolved as I wrote it, and it has been one of the fastest I've written since I wrote my first one, Good Intentions. I think it's fitting, since it will probably be the last new story you'll see from me for a while. I am going to spend some time trying to finish up all of my incomplete stories.

Having said that I am interested in writing a multi-chapter about this Zeref, going into what happened to him in real-time. If you would have any interest in reading a story like this let me know in the comments. It wouldn't be exactly the same as I feel the curse is wasted here, so Natsu would probably be sent forward in time like canon, and it would still be a Gray x Natsu story.

Thanks for reading and letting me know in any way that you liked it, I really appreciated it and it goes a long way towards motivating me to write. Til the next one!