Gratsu Bingo 2019
Prompt: Death

Chapter 5

The door to the apartment had barely closed when Natsu rushed out of the bedroom dressed in one of Gray's old t-shirts and shorts.

"Where were you guys?" he grumbled, examining them intently, looking for any clue to their disappearance. When he sensed no hostility between them, he relaxed. "I woke up, and you were all gone."

"Sorry," Lyon replied, "I couldn't sleep, too nervous about today. They went with me to keep me company."

"Right," Natsu rolled his eyes at the blatant lie, "It's nice to see some things never change, you still suck at lying."

Lyon laughed nervously, "I really do need to start getting ready. I'm going to go take a shower to see if I can wake up some. Can someone make me some coffee, please?"

"I think I can manage that," Zeref offered, "Maybe even some breakfast, depending on what you have on hand."

Zeref set himself to the task of putting some food together, wanting to give Natsu and Gray some time to talk.

"Hey Gray, don't forget Mom is coming over in about an hour."

Gray cursed inwardly, he'd let himself get so caught up in everything that was happening he'd conveniently forgotten he was still expected to attend the wedding. He glanced over at Natsu, wishing he could just ditch it and spend more time with him but even he wasn't that much of an asshole.

He'd never do that to Lyon, his brother had always been supportive of him, and it was his turn to do the same for him. Especially since he'd already shown him how nervous he was.

"I'll be ready," Gray gave his brother a reassuring smile before grabbing Natsu's hand and leading him back into his bedroom, closing the door behind them, wondering if it was too soon to try to kiss him. He settled for pulling him into a hug.

Natsu let him hold him tightly against him without complaining, "You know, I don't remember you being this touchy-feely before."

"Does it bother you?" Gray released him, gazing at Natsu's expression, wondering if he was pushing him away already.

"Not exactly, it's just different," Natsu rubbed his forehead, a nervous gesture Gray remembered well, "It's just I spent two years thinking you hated me."

"If I'm honest, I might have for a day or two, but then I got my head out of my ass," Gray admitted before lowering his head sadly, "Why didn't you ever try to get in touch me?"

He was still a bit upset that Natsu had never replied to any of his messages.

"I lost my phone on the boat. I was really sick during the trip, and it fell overboard at some point," Natsu explained sheepishly, "I haven't had a phone in almost two years. I did think about writing to you once I realized I was going to be gone a lot longer than I'd thought, but we were never really in town or cities."

"I would have gone with you," Gray murmured softly, and he found himself grabbing hold of Natsu's hand. It was getting embarrassing, he couldn't seem to stop himself from touching him, but he felt the need to continually reassure himself that Natsu was really there.

"I know you would have, but I had no idea what I was getting into, and I would have never forgiven myself if I put you in danger."

Natsu smiled at all the unexpected affection. It was unusual for Gray to be so needy, but Natsu knew he'd scared him by disappearing and he didn't mind.

He'd come back for this after all, determined to try to make a go at a relationship. It had torn him up inside to have to deny Gray at that party, but his mind had already been made up, and he'd hoped he could fix things when he returned.

"I'm not going anywhere, Ice Block," Natsu insisted while squeezing Gray's hand, "I promise."

Hearing him talk about his time away reminded Gray that he still didn't know anything about what had happened. It also made him think about what Zeref had told them. Igneel was dead.

It hurt to think about it. Gray had loved Igneel, the man had been a father figure to him and Lyon when they'd desperately needed one. He remembered how the two of them would fantasize that Igneel would fall deeply in love with their mother and marry her and they would all be one big happy family like one of those cheesy shows on TV.

But it never happened, although Ur and Igneel liked each other well enough, they seemed to be content being single parents, helping each other out whenever they could. And now Gray thought he understood why.

Gray knew the grief he felt was only a fraction of what Natsu would feel, and although he understood it would only get worse the longer they postponed it, Zeref had to be the one to tell him. Not just because Gray didn't want to be the one to destroy his hopes, but because he knew Zeref would see it as part of his penance. He would never feel worthy of telling Natsu who he was until he got this off his chest.

That just made him want to hold on tighter, for he had a feeling the next time he saw Natsu, he would be irrevocably changed. He really hoped Zeref didn't fuck this up.

"So, uh did you date anyone else besides Juvia?"

"Can we please not talk about this now?" The last thing Gray wanted to get into in his current mood was all the stupid shit he'd done while Natsu was gone. He regretted all of it.

"Oh," Natsu looked down at Gray's carpet, not wanting him to see his disappointment.

"I — I thought you left because I kissed you, and then you never returned my calls. I was upset and disgusted with myself, and I thought I'd fucked up our friendship," Gray tried to explain, but it sounded lame even to him.

"I had it all planned out," Natsu said wistfully, "I was going to come out to you, and give you some time to get used to it, maybe have you see me the way I saw you. And then, then I was going to tell you how I felt."

Natsu snorted, "I never expected you to be the one to kiss me. God, I wanted to kiss you back so much, but that would've been unfair. I already knew I was leaving. I thought I was only going to be gone for the summer, I figured we could pick things up when I came back."

"Let's just pretend none of that happened, and start over, yeah?" Gray's eyes softened, he let go of Natsu's hand to trace his finger on the other's cheek. "I like you Natsu, I have for so so long."

"I like you too, Princess," Natsu grinned happily, using the nickname he'd coined because of how long it took Gray to do anything, the last of his worries floating away with Gray's words. He placed his arm around Gray's waist and tugged him towards him, their mouths inching ever closer, breath intermingling as lips almost touched only to be interrupted by the loud sound of urgent knocking.

Gray, irritated by the interruption, looked down at his watch, and with a long-suffering sigh, ran to open the door. The wedding craziness had begun.

"Don't tell me you're not even dressed yet?" A disgruntled voice scolded Gray in dismay as she entered the apartment before turning to yell. "Lyon, where are you?"

"In my room!" Lyon called out in a muffled voice, "I'm getting ready."

"You're early, " Gray complained to his mother.

"Nice to see you too, Sunshine," Ur retorted, giving her son a peck on the cheek, "I was going crazy at the house, and Juvia's mother has been calling nonstop, it made me anxious."

Gray waited for what he knew would immediately happen, feeling a bit badly for his poor mother who already had a lot on her plate. Today was probably not the best day to dump all this on her.

"Natsu?" Ur experienced a myriad of emotions at seeing the boy she considered as her other son, but for the moment relief prevailed, "Oh my God! Baby, is that really you?"

Natsu gave her a warm smile, even though he knew for a fact he was about to get his ass handed to him in a few minutes. "Hey Ur, I'm back!"

She lunged at him, giving him a hug that quite possibly removed a few years from his life, but it was well worth it. This woman was the only mother he'd ever known, and he loved her deeply, despite her occasional emotional outbursts. He flinched when he felt the tears wet his shoulders. Shit! He'd made her cry.

Once she'd gotten the hug out of the way, she laid into him, "Where the hell have you been? We were all worried sick about you."

"He went looking for Igneel," Gray informed her, trying to get some of her attention away from his boyfriend.

Ur's eyes widened, and she was about to say something when she caught a strange look on Gray's face that confused her. She decided to back off until she could figure out what it meant. "Well, of course he did, and I can't wait to hear all about it once this wedding is over. Gray, have you even taken a shower yet?"

"No, Mom, I was talking to Natsu."

"Well I need help getting stuff in the car, and neither of you is ready to go," Ur complained.

"Zeref and I can help," Natsu assured her.

"Who's Zeref?" Ur asked, her nose wrinkling as she thought about all of her sons' friends.

"He's my brother," Natsu grinned, knowing that information would shock her.

"Your what?!" Ur squealed, "Okay now I really can't wait to hear about what happened to you."

Natsu laughed, "Let me get some shoes on." He went to Gray's room to look for his shoes and change back into his jeans. After some brief introductions, he and Zeref were recruited to be her slaves while she waited for the twins to get ready.

The twins were finished by the time Zeref and Natsu were done lugging boxes and other random items down to Ur's car. They all sat down together to eat the food Zeref had made.

"Lyon, you look like shit, your pictures are going to come out terrible," Ur groaned, already thinking of Juvia's mother, "Did you even sleep?"

Gray waited until Lyon and his mom were bickering before he leaned over to whisper to Natsu.

"Are you sure I can't talk you into coming to the wedding with me?"

Natsu seemed to consider it, but he shook his head, "Today should be about Lyon and Juvia. If I show up, people are going to flip out. I don't want to take away from them, and in all honesty, I don't think I'm ready to face everyone yet."

Gray knew Natsu was right, but it pained him to leave him, it was stupid he knew, but he'd just gotten him back.

"I promise I'll be here when you get back."

"Alright," Gray agreed, placing his hand over Natsu's underneath the table and smiling when Natsu laced their fingers together.

After a lot of hectic goodbyes and Ur extracting a promise from Natsu that he and his brother would have dinner with her and Gray that evening, the Fullbusters were off.

Gray and Lyon had agreed not to tell Ur about Igneel's death until after the wedding knowing it would be a shock to her and it would ruin her enjoyment of the ceremony.

"Are you ready for this?" Ur asked Lyon seriously as they made their way to the car, both boys holding on to garment bags containing their formalwear for the wedding.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Lyon deadpanned, causing Ur to whack him on the head and Gray to laugh.

"Everything's going to be just fine," Gray assured him before adding with a smirk, "At least it's not me marrying Juvia."

Lyon rose to the bait, and the two happily bickered all the way to the church with Ur yelling at them to shut the hell up.

O-o

Natsu waited for a few minutes to make sure they were really gone before laying into Zeref, "So you wanna tell me what that little stroll was all about?"

"I don't know what you mean," Zeref hedged as he set about clearing up the plates from the table and putting them in the sink. He'd no idea how to work the machine, he'd always had servants for that sort of thing. The only reason he knew how to cook anything was that he'd liked to spoil Sona sometimes by making her breakfast in bed.

He was terrified, he didn't want to lose his son after just getting him back, but Zeref knew that was a distinct possibility, just as he knew it would be no one's fault but his own. There was a lot he hadn't told Natsu yet.

Like the fact that he'd been the one to write that letter. Or that Acnologia wanted Natsu dead since he was the legitimate heir to the Empire of Alvarez.

"Please," Natsu scoffed, fixing his gaze on his brother, "I've known those two most of my life, it was obvious they were upset about something, and I sort of doubt it had anything to do with the wedding. What did you tell them?"

"You didn't tell them about the time we got captured?!" Natsu panicked briefly. Gray would flip his lid if he ever learned of that. Then again, if Gray knew about it, Natsu would probably already be sporting a black eye.

"No, nothing like that," Zeref assured him, "I didn't tell them anything about our time in Alvarez."

"Then what? What could you possibly say that would upset them?" Natsu pushed, narrowing his eyes as a thought occurred to him. "You don't have a problem with me being gay all of a sudden, do you? Because I'm not giving Gray up!"

Zeref had to laugh at that, out of all the fathers in the world, he was probably the most relieved to learn his son was gay. It wasn't a guarantee that Natsu would never father any children, but it certainly improved his odds of being able to die in one lifetime. "No, Natsu. I'm quite happy that things seem to be going well with Gray. I like him."

He watched Natsu continue to worry and worked his courage up. Gray and Lyon were right, Natsu needed closure so that he could begin the grieving process that should have started years ago.

"Could you sit down? I need to tell you something important."

Natsu did as he was told, staring up at Zeref with trusting eyes that hurt more than he thought possible.

"It's about Igneel," Zeref had barely managed to get the name out when Natsu jumped out of his seat and rushed towards him, grabbing his shoulders excitedly.

"You know where he is? Is he in Magnolia? Why didn't you tell me before? Can we go see him?"

Zeref couldn't bear to look at the wild hope in Natsu's eyes, his hands tightened into fists as he willed himself to destroy that hope forever. He'd never felt crueler in his life.

"No Natsu, I'm afraid we can't. You see, Igneel died many years ago," Zeref managed to get the words out somehow, and when he witnessed Natsu's despair he learned that although he might not be able to die physically there were many ways to die, and he'd just discovered one. He felt wretched.

"You can't know that!" Natsu protested. His eyes had begun to tear up, and he sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than Zeref. His voice was getting increasingly louder as he fought off the words he didn't want to accept.

"He's out there, I know he is, and I'll find him! You'll see."

"No, Natsu, you need to listen to me," Zeref kept his voice as low as he could, hoping Natsu would get himself under control. "Igneel died in Alvarez, eight years ago." He gulped before adding, "I was there, I saw it happen."

"You...you WHAT?!" Natsu screeched, "Why didn't you save him?" he grabbed Zeref's shoulders again, shaking him roughly, and Zeref let him, knowing Natsu needed to get some of his grief out.

"He was a prisoner just like I was, there was nothing I could do."

Natsu stopped hitting him, satisfied for the moment. He studied him intently, and Zeref could tell he was thinking hard.

"Why?! Why did they kill him, what did he even do? Why did he go to Alvarez in the first place?"

Zeref sighed, he'd been hoping Natsu wouldn't ask that question, but now that he had Zeref wouldn't lie. Natsu deserved to hear the truth, but before he could say a word, Natsu had already figured it out.

"He went there because of you, didn't he? DIDN'T HE?"

"Yes, he did," Zeref couldn't interpret Natsu's expression, and it was beginning to worry him until it finally settled into one he was very used to seeing.

Hatred.

And as much as it hurt, Zeref found he couldn't fault him for it.

Natsu dissolved into sobs, looking more like a child than Zeref had ever seen him and he wanted to do something, anything to make his son stop crying like that, but all he could manage was an apology. "I'm so sorry, Natsu. I wish they'd killed me instead."

"Me too," Natsu spat out, and ran out of the apartment. He couldn't stand to look at Zeref any longer.

Zeref watched him leave, trying very hard not to let those words get to him. He knew Natsu was upset and he probably didn't mean them. It had gone about as badly as he'd expected.

Zeref was convinced that Natsu would never be able to accept him as his father, hell he'd be lucky if the boy ever wanted to have anything to do with him ever again.

Even so, he needed to make sure Natsu was alright. He decided to chase after him, but by the time he'd made it downstairs, Natsu was nowhere to be found.

To make matters worse, Zeref realized he had no keys to get back into the apartment. He'd never been to Magnolia before, and he'd no idea where anything was so he sat down on the building's front steps to wait for Gray to return home. Hoping he would have an idea where Natsu might have gone.

"I'm sorry Igneel, I handled that poorly," Zeref muttered before placing his head in his hand and letting himself cry for the first time since being forced to witness Igneel's execution.