I couldn't sleep at all last night, I stayed by Victor's side and we both spent time with Yurio. When it got late Yurio had decided to sleep on the ground with Makkachin I was immediately against it because first, the floor was cold and dirty, and second, I worried that he might hurt his back or Victor might've stepped on him late at night when he had to go to the restroom.

So we eventually decided on allowing him to sleep with Victor and me on the bed, it was a bit difficult at first, but Victor's bed was big enough to fit all of us on. And well to say the least Yurio was also a cuddler just like Victor so when I woke up I could hardly breathe. I eventually found a way out of their grasps, and they ended up holding each other in their arms. I found it both hilarious and adorable so I just had to take a picture, and now I found myself in the kitchen grabbing my pill bottle from the cabinets, although I wasn't exactly paying attention.

The bottle rattled as I trembled, my anxiety started early in the morning too right after I remembered what was to happen. I was a wreck, my hair sticking out in every direction and my body feeling stiff and sore. I was about to bring the pills to my mouth, but a sudden hand stopped me. "Yuuri." I instantly recognized the person's voice and glanced over my shoulder. I hadn't even heard him come in.

I was met with concerned filled eyes. "That's a bit too much Yuuri," Victor stated and looked toward my hands, I looked at them and felt my blood run cold. My hand was filled with my pills....and I was just about to swallow them all at once. I tensed and stayed frozen in shock. "I-I.." I stammered out unable to find the right words, I attempted to put the pills back in the container, but my hands were trembling so much I dropped a few in the process. Victor calmly took the bottle from my hands and placed it on the counter without uttering a single word, when he turned to look at me I flinched and grasped onto the hem of my shirt.

He suddenly pulled me into a tight embrace catching me by surprise. "You're scaring me Yuuri." He rubbed my back. "How can I leave you all alone? You're so out of it..." He squeezed me tight. "I could've lost you again." He took a shaky breath. "I could lose you so easily now. Anything can hurt you." He ran his hand through my hair. "How am I supposed to leave you? I just can't stand being away from you even if it's for a minute." I hugged him tightly and grasped onto his shirt burying my face in his chest. "It'll only be a weekend, I think I'll survive," I said in a muffled voice. He chuckled and lifted my chin up making me look up at him. "Do you think you can survive that long? I know I can't, I need your kisses and hugs to give me strength." He smiled lovingly.

I stood on my toes and pressed my lips against his, he wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up a bit more to deepen the kiss. My chest swelled and my head spun, when we both finally remembered that we needed to breathe we pulled away and stared into each other's eyes. "I'll make sure to make them last longer," I said with a small smile. His eyes lit up.  "Do you really mean that Yuuri?" He jumped up and down like a child about to be given a new toy, I giggled and nodded in response. "Of course I mean it." He hugged me even tighter and spun in a circle making me dizzy.

He stopped and laughed, and my heart once again swelled with overwhelming happiness. When he laughed a light blush would color his pale cheeks the sound was like music to my ears. "I'm not going to survive without you Yuuri." He looked down at me and sighed. "I'll definitely miss your eyes." He placed his hand on my cheek and leaned forward pressing his forehead against mine. He then straightened his posture. "Oh!" He smiled widely. "I know, Yuuri. So you won't get lonely why not let Makkachin stay with you?" He suggested excitedly.

I gave him a wary look. "R-really? But Victor isn't Makkachin important to you?" I asked glumly and turned my gaze to the ground, he once again lifted my chin to look at him. "You're very important to me too Yuuri. And if something were to happen to you while I'm gone then..." I could feel his hand trembling, he was trying hard not to break. I quickly grabbed his hand. "I just don't want you to be alone." He said in a whisper, afraid that he might cry I held his face in my hands and looked at him. "Will it make you happy?" I asked.

He nodded his head frantically up and down, and I knew then that I couldn't refuse his offer. "Okay, I'll take care of Makkachin for you." I agreed with a smile. "Thank you, Yuuri! I promise he's going to take good care of you too! He's a good boy, and he also grew attached to you so quickly I think he really loves you." He smiled. "You and Makkachin have some similarities, you both are adorable and jump on me when happy or excited." I laughed.  "We both love you too." He stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

My smile faltered as I came to a sudden realization, I knew I wasn't going to be okay while he was gone, I was going to become a total wreck. And now since I've grown to also love Yurio their departure would surely leave me broken, but I knew I couldn't worry Victor I knew this was a chance to actually help, this was a chance where I could finally be useful.....so why am I so selfish? I bit my lip as my stomach twisted and my head ached, I scolded myself, demanding myself not to open my mouth and to keep it shut no matter what; but I wasn't strong enough. I couldn't beat myself.

I swallowed thickly and tightly held onto Victor's hand, he jumped back in surprise and gave me an anxious look.  "Yuuri?" I winced when I heard the concern in his voice I had to lower my head I just couldn't meet his eyes I felt that if I did I would immediately start crying I gathered all my courage, but instantly doubted myself as I felt myself begin to tremble. "V-Victor...do you have to leave?" I asked in a shaky whisper I was sure he heard it though because before I knew it he was once again pulling me into a tight hug squeezing the breath out of me.

I gasped for breath. "Victor?" I squeaked, he buried his face in the crook of my neck and stayed silent only holding me in his tight embrace. I was able to breathe a little and relaxed in his embrace knowing that it might be a while before he released me. When he finally did though he was reluctant to meet my gaze. "Yuuri..you have no idea how much it tears me apart to be away from you." He lifted his head to meet my eyes. "But this is not a goodbye, it never will be a goodbye." He cracked a smile, but I could see the tears build up in his eyes.

He backed away and wiped away his tears. "I'm sorry." He mumbled. "It's just..." He trailed off and took a breath. "I know it'll be fake, but I just can't bring myself to yell at you." He sniffed. "Victor, it's okay really." I quickly reassured. "You can pretend I'm someone you really hate," I suggested. "Oh, I got someone in mind." He chuckled. "But I don't want to see you like her. I want you to stay as you are. I want to see you as my Yuuri, and nobody else's." My heart clenched with sudden pain, our plan was to argue in front of the cameras and then Victor stating that he would go back to Russia.

Why go that far? Well if Angela is really crazy about Victor then we needed to make sure Victor would be over with dating completely up to the point where Angela was convinced he was absolutely serious, so what better than to send him back to Russia?

He had already talked to his coach Yakov not wanting to make a bigger mess if he were to see the news, and now we only had a couple of hours together. He wanted to make sure the problem was over as soon as possible, so it had to be soon, and I wasn't ready for it. Although I knew he wasn't actually going back to Russia, he was just going somewhere far but still close by. I was still reluctant to let him go. "I understand Victor, but don't go easy on me okay?" I forced a smile despite our current problem I just wanted to make the happy moments last for him. Just how he wanted it to be.

I allowed my parents to take the day off of cooking meals so that meant Victor helped prepare breakfast with me, he would always kiss my cheek or send me a flashing smile that literally blinded me as I cooked and he set the table. Yurio trudged in the kitchen with Makkachin trotting beside him he yawned and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "Good morning Yurio." I smiled at him he flinched and gurgled a tired good morning, his voice was thick with extracts of sleep. He trudged to the table and plopped to the ground, I finished with the steamed rice and served both Victor and Yurio.

I walked with their bowls and placed them on the table. "Come on Victor," I called him over, he had just finished serving Makkachin his food. "I'm coming!" He called back and arrived with a bright smile. "It's great that we can eat as a family." He stated happily, his words caused Yurio to spit out his tea. "A w-what!?" He sputtered. "A family." Victor restated and sat on the ground beside me. "That's stupid." He spat in venom, and I honestly didn't think it would affect me as much, but I had flinched at his words like they were fire. Victor seemed to notice and took a breath. "Yurio." He started.

Unsuspected tears had slipped down my cheeks, Yurio looked at me with wide eyes. "A-ah sorry." I stammered and quickly tried to wipe my tears. "Yu-" Yurio instantly leaped toward me and wrapped his arms around me. "I'm sorry." He apologized with his voice laced with guilt. "I didn't mean it." He squeezed me. "I think it's...pretty cool that we get to eat together." I could already see the blush on his face.

Victor feeling left out joined in on the hug and squeeze the breath out of both of us, I giggled and rested my head against Victor's shoulder. I didn't want this moment to end, I didn't want anything to change. But I needed to realize something, I needed to make myself believe one thing. This wasn't going to be a goodbye, it wasn't going to keep us apart forever. So why did it feel like I wasn't going to be able to survive the short weekend?

The sickening churning in my stomach returned, and I suddenly doubted myself once again. I knew I was not going to be able to live without Victor even if it's for a minute. So...what is going to happen to me?