I panted for breath, my cheeks were flushed red as I leaned against the ice rink, the cold air made my lungs ache, sweat formed on my forehead. "Oi Katsudon you okay?" Yurio asked. "Y-yeah I'm fine." I stammered and straightened my posture. "I'm fine, just needed a breather," I stated with a forced smile. "Right, where's Victor?" He asked with a frown as he mentioned his name. "He's talking with Yuuko, he wants to make sure Angela doesn't come back," I explained.

His face twisted in disgust at her name. "Ugh, that-" He cut himself off and took a breath. "Nevermind that, she's not important anymore. She can't hurt you." I reassured with a weary smile. "She can't hurt you either, how's your cheek?" He asked in a low embarrassed mumble. "It's fine, not a single scar on me," I stated. "Good I guess." He shrugged and turned his head away. "How's your Salchow?" I still couldn't get used to his change of attitude, but it made me happy to see him in a good mood. "It's still a bit sloppy," I admitted nervously. "But I'll give it another go." I honestly felt exhausted, but the day was just beginning.

I forced myself to glide across the ice beginning with a few minor jumps and spins, a wave of nausea made me queasy and uneasy, my footing and posture because wobbly. The room seemed to spin, the ice underneath my feet tilted and seeped like sand or snow. The doors leading to the front lobby opened catching both Yurio and my attention, Victor arrived with a wide heart-shaped smile. "We can practice in peace!" He stated happily. "Good, now we won't see that whore." Yurio crossed his arms. "Profanity Yuri, hating her won't change anything, besides she's gone now," I said.

He huffed. "I guess you're right." He nodded. "Yuuri, love your face is a bit red. Come over." Victor called me over, I skated toward him slowly not wanting to end up slipping on the ice, I stood in front of him, he rested his hand against my cheek and slightly frowned. "You feel warm." He mumbled worried "I've just been practicing a lot, it's nothing to worry about." I said it wasn't that much of a lie.

I woke up around five in the morning and had a very small breakfast before going out on my usual morning jog and headed over to the ice rink, it's already about nine-thirty and I haven't had a break. Maybe that's why I've been feeling sick, but I swore to myself that I would become a better skater for Victor's sake, for his public image, for his fame and possible future. I couldn't let him down, and now with Yurio in the picture I had to give him a good image as well, they were both my inspiration and strength.

I pulled away from Victor. "I'm fine though, I still can't land the Salchow." I frowned in disappointment. "I need to land it, I can't fail like last time." I moved my gaze to the ground, the ice had stopped tilting much good to my dismay. "Yuuri, you don't have to be perfect," Victor stated with a hint of worry laced in his voice. "You were amazing on the ice, simply beautiful." He grasped onto my hand. "You don't have to push yourself so hard." I winced as his voice tightened with concern, a sudden wave of dizziness overcame me.

For a moment his face swam out of focus. Up close, he was more handsome than he was from several feet away. I swallowed hard and took a couple of shaky breaths leaning closer against the rink for support, my grip on his hand tightening ever so slightly. "I'm not, just trying to get a bit better on my jumps." I didn't trust my voice as much, it was weak at the moment and jittery. In fear that I myself would start trembling, I hesitantly pulled my hand away from Victor's own and turned away. "I'll take a break after I try to land the jump," I said in a forced firm tone, I had to swallow the weakness that threatened to spill.

I couldn't bear to meet Victor's face, just the thought of looking into his hurt eyes broke my heart, I once again glided on the ice trying to regain my posture, but my stamina was extremely low, I was going to have to use the last of it for the jump. Yurio had left to take a quick break, he was sitting on one of the benches outside of the rink that was made for skaters or guests to wait their turn on the ice or take a quick break. I was the only one on the ice now, with both Yurio and Victor possibly watching me I had a feeling that this was some sort of test that fate decided to dawn on me, this was a chance to prove myself that I was capable of withstanding any obstacle and overcome it.

I scolded myself, forced myself to stay strong and on my feet, and threatened to do something utterly horrific to myself if I failed this jump. I didn't know why I was so hard on myself, it was like my mind said one thing and my body the other, I wasn't in control. I almost lost myself in thought, I cursed at myself and prepared, with a breath I began with picking up my pace and speed, my legs felt like lead.

I gritted my teeth and continued on pushing my legs even harder, ice was scraped off from my skates leaving faded lines in my trail, my heart began to hammer against my chest and adrenaline kicked in, this was my chance. My breathing picked up almost matching the pace of my heartbeat, I feared that I would end up giving myself a panic attack, but was that really important?

This was it, I jumped. The ground underneath my feet disappeared, and when I looked at the others. I instantly made a huge mistake, I met with Victor's face and eyes, the look of pain and worrimemt threw me off guard. Our eyes met, his went wide with what I could only classify as fear, and pure terror. My heavy breath hitched in my throat, my heart going a million beats per second as I felt my body drain from energy. I could feel myself slipping from consciousness while in mid-air, mid-jump, I didn't have enough time.

I made sure to land without hitting my head, I brought my arms up to my face, a yelp escaping my lips before I hit the ground. The remainder of my breath was knocked out of me the last thing I heard and saw was Victor as he yelled my name and jumped over the rink skating toward me, and my world went dark.

------------------------------------------------------

When I awoke my body felt stiff and heavy, I turned my head side to side trying to get my vision to adjust to my surroundings, but as I squinted I came to realize that my glasses were no longer resting on the bridge of my nose. My head was resting on a damp pillow, was I sweating? I lifted my arm and reached toward the blurry nightstand beside me, I felt around for my glasses, and to my luck, I found them nicely folded on the top.

I put them on, my vision cleared and I was able to make out my room, I slowly sat up. My body ached and I'm pretty sure I heard a few stiff joints pop, and as soon as I felt a headache begin to form the door slowly opened. Victor trudged in with his head hung low, the way he walked with slumped shoulders and dragging feet told me that he was depressed, I hated the way he kept his gaze to the ground. The atmosphere around him was thick almost making it hard to breathe.

He surprisingly succeeded at not lifting his gaze and slumped to the ground on his knees, he rested his head on the foot of my bed and buried his face with the blankets. He was trembling or crying. His shoulders shook and I could hear quiet whimpers, my heart ached. It hurt so bad, I leaned over with my arm outstretched to him, I weaved my hand into his messy looking hair. He flinched at my touch and slowly lifted his gaze to me. "Yuuri..." he whispered my name and straightened his posture. I forced a small smile. "Victor, what's with the sad mood?" I asked almost teasingly.

His bottom lip trembled, and before I knew it he was throwing his arms around me burying his face in the crook of my neck. He trembled again and held me tight against his chest, I ran my hand through his hair. "Victor it's okay. I'm here with you please don't be upset." Warm tears hit my bare skin on my shoulder, I flinched at the warm tears that felt like licks of flames on my flesh, my heart ached even more. I grasped onto Victor's arms and tugged on them, he quickly pulled away and looked at me with a quizzical face. "Get on, I missed you." It felt like I had been out for quite a while, and I so desperately wanted to comfort Victor.

He climbed into my bed and sat crisscrossed beside me I lied back down, he did the same, both of us lied on our sides so that we could be face to face with each other. I placed my hand on one of his flushed cheeks and wiped away the stray tears, he chuckled. "I've never cried so much in my life before." His voice was low and hoarse. "Why were you crying so much?" I asked worriedly, he was hesitant at first. "You were sick for two days, I-I was so scared Yuuri. I thought..." he trailed off. "I felt useless." He whispered.

I scooted closer to him and placed a kiss on his warm forehead, I suddenly frowned. His breathing slowed and I slowly pulled away so that I could closely take a look of him; he had fallen asleep. Dark circles rested under his eyes, his cheeks were flushed red with visible tear stains. "Yuuri." He whispered my name even as he slept, I grabbed his hand and brought it to my lips letting my warm breath warm up his cold hand.

He sighed in content and a small smile tugged at his lip, I smiled in satisfaction and threw the blanket over his now shaking figure. Knowing Victor I was sure he had stayed by my side, and that made me worry. Had he taken care of himself? Or had he refused to do so? The circles under his eyes told me a lot though, the door was open a crack, Yurio walked with a tray that contained two bowls his face was beet red as be pushed the door open with his foot.

I sat up careful not to wake Victor up, I knew he needed rest. Yurio looked at me and froze in place for a while, his face showed shock and worrimemt. "H-hey Yurio." I stammered. He placed the tray carefully on the nightstand and turned back to me taking a cautious step forward, his eyebrows furrowed giving the look of him holding back tears; I smiled at him and outstretched my arms out. "..come here." I looked at him apologetically. He blushed even more and crossed his arms, I waited for a while wondering if he would accept the hug or push me away, but to my surprise, he slowly trudged into my arms.

I wrapped my arms around him. "S-stupid Katsudon." His voice broke slightly. "Making such a stupid choice, I hate you." He muttered. "Yeah, I know." I sighed glumly. "I hate me too." We both stayed in the embrace not sharing a single word, but it was soon over when he pulled away and looked toward the tray on the nightstand. "You're mother told me to bring it to Victor, that stupid hasn't eaten either. So you both better eat or I'll force feed you myself." He demanded, he then glanced at Victor and scowled. "That idiot." He hissed.

I grew worried. "What is it?" I asked quickly. "He got your sickness, I can tell by his face. Your mother warned him too." He shook his head, I felt my heart drop, and I suddenly lacked appetite. "He..he never left," I muttered. "That's right, and he was stubborn too." Yurio huffed. "But..if I were him I think I would be worried too." My interest and curiosity peaked at his statement. "What do you mean?" I asked. He flinched and silently cursed. "Crap I wasn't supposed to say anything, it was a secret." He said.

I frowned. "Yurio please tell me." I leaned forward he turned away in response pretending not to hear me. "Yurio." I grasped onto his arm and tugged at it desperately trying to get him to speak. "Please, if it's about Victor I need to know. I want to know more about him so that we can become closer, and I want to be able to help him if he's in need." Desperation laced my voice. He was tense under my grasp. "Dammit.." He muttered angrily. "Just..dodon't say anything." He growled at me and turned his attention back to me.

I loosened my grip on his arm and pulled back, he held something unreadable in his green eyes. "I..I don't know if he's told you, I don't even think he wants you to know." He fidgeted under my gaze and looked around anxiously, he was extremely hesitant to answer. Finally, he took a breath and seemed to gather some courage to will himself to speak. "I'm only going to tell you this much." He started and looked at me.

We both held each other's gazes. "Victor lost a close family member to an illness, it was said that their fever got so high they were never able to wake up." He tore away from the gaze. "That's why Victor cried so much and stayed by your side. He was thrown off guard and was reminded of his family member, but you're really important to him now. He was utterly terrified and restless." My heart clenched with pain as Yurio spoke, just imagining it was enough to bring tears to my eyes.

I looked toward Victor and moved the hair away from his flushed face, I smiled sadly as he leaned against my touch and muttered something I couldn't make sense of. I wiped away my tears and took a shaky breath. "Victor...I love you so much." I stated lovingly as I stroked his soft hair, and at that moment nothing else mattered to me. I was here with the people I grew to love so much, what more could I have asked for?