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Excuse the mistakes

Dedicated to Shady234 because I had to do something disappointing, and also, we are twins apparently

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“Damn it!”

The buzzer went off, and the other team’s players hopped over the boards and crowded their goalie in celebration of their win. My team, on the other hand, was slow to come out of our bench. Since I was already on the ice, I skated over to Tony. He was still in butterfly position with the puck sitting on the ice in front of him. Tony may have blocked the final shot, but we’d still lost the game by two goals.

For our first game in the Hell on Ice tournament, we’d played like absolute crap, myself completely included. Our offense played on their heels, as if they were just spectators. Our defense couldn’t manage to get the puck up to the wings and out of the zone. The only person who’d played well was Tony; if it wasn’t for him, we would’ve lost by way more.

“Good game, Tony,” I said glumly, and I put my hand on his shoulder. “Sorry I played like shit.”

“We’re a team, Kels,” Tony replied as he stood up, “We lost together; you’re not the only one who had an off game.” Tony gave me a solemn look before the rest of our team reached us, and they started patting him on the shoulder pads and mumbled “good game.”

We all lined up at center ice and shook hands with the other team. To their credit, the other team wasn’t shoving their win in our faces or making snide comments. They hadn’t played dirty, and the one player who’d gotten a penalty apologized to Owen, whom he’d hit. However, all of those things just made our loss worse because we had no one to blame but ourselves.

I skated to the bench to grab my spare stick and my water bottle, and when I turned around, I smacked straight into Dane. Instinctively, I backed away quickly and fumbled for some kind of sentence.

“Sorry,” I said quickly as I continued backing away, “I didn’t see you there.” Dane opened his mouth to respond, but I didn’t give him a chance. Instead, I turned around and hurried off the ice.

The fact that Dane and I had barely said five words to each other after I’d broken up with him didn’t really help our game. For the first period, we’d both hesitant about calling for the puck from each other, and I think Coach Hannover had realized that because he stopped putting us on at the same time. That was a poor move on all three of our parts because Dane’s line worked best with Owen and me.

I walked down a blindingly bright hallway to the Ice Devils’ locker room, and with every step, I felt the exhaustion from the bus ride and the game hitting me, as well as the disappointment in myself for how I’d played. I was my own worst critic, and right now, I was tearing myself apart.

I pushed into the locker room, and without a word or look to any of my teammates, I sat down where my bag was, and I started pulling off my gear. I only stopped when Coach Hannover came in to talk to the team, and he just muttered a few things about effort and the need for forechecking, and then we were left alone again. The locker room was quiet for a moment before Tony cleared his throat and broke the silence.

“So,” he drawled, pushing his sweaty hair off of his face, “Despite that clusterfuck of a game, we’re still on for dinner tonight, right? My mom called that Italian place we ate at last year, and we have a reservation for tonight at six.”

There were a couple of reluctant and disappointed yeses, but I didn’t bother to respond. I’d end up going, and Tony knew it. Me wanting to avoid Dane wouldn’t keep me from a team function; I wasn’t one of those people who let one person drive me from something.

“Alright,” Tony said, clapping his hands together, “Then, we’ll head back to the hotel for a bit, and then we will reconvene in the lobby around 5:30 to head to the restaurant.”

Because we had all come on the bus together, we had to travel together, so most of the things we were doing on this trip were as a team. We were even rooming at the hotel with our teammates, not our parents.

I was the only person who got a single room with a king bed, since I was the only girl. It was great because I had my own space and I could watch whatever I wanted, but it also sucked because I was going to be alone after everyone disappeared to their rooms to rest.

However, right now, being alone was okay with me. I was in a rotten mood, and I just needed to be by myself so I didn’t lash out at my teammates, who were also my friends.

I finished peeling off my sweaty, stinky pads, and after shoving them unceremoniously into my hockey bag and zipping it closed, I changed back into my warm-up clothes and pulled my hair up into a knot at the top of my head.

I plugged my Beats into my phone and dialed up some angsty rock music before shoving the headphones on my head, and I hefted my bag up onto my shoulder. I walked out of the now half-empty locker room and started towards the front of the ice rink, where our bus would be waiting.

Most of our team was undressed, or almost undressed, but that was to be expected after a game like that. It wasn’t surprising that we wouldn’t want to spend a bunch of time in a locker room, staring at each other, after the shit storm we’d just played. I think everyone just wanted to go back to the hotel and be irritated and grumpy in silence; I sure as hell did.

I walked out of the ice rink where Hell on Ice was being held, which was more like an ice center because of its five rinks and clean facilities that rivaled an NHL arena, and I hurried down the front walk to where our bus was.

I quickly loaded my bag in the compartments underneath the bus, and then I trudged up into the bus. I plopped down in the seat I’d ridden up to Canada in, and then with Flyleaf blasting in my ears, I closed my eyes and tried to block out the world.

*

I really hate riding in elevators by myself.

I have that nagging fear that at any second, the elevator cable could snap, and I could go plummeting to my death. When the doors of an elevator closed, it was like the lid of my coffin was closing on me. And, to make matters worse, elevator music is the most mind-numbing thing in existence, and it made the ride down to the lobby seem like an eternity.

Finally, the bell dinged, and a moment later, the doors to the elevator opened. I hurried out quickly, careful to avoid the crack between the elevator and the tile floor just outside the elevator. Yes, I know; my paranoia when it comes to elevators is ridiculous, but it’s how I am.

I walked down the short hallway that housed the elevators, and I entered the lobby to find most of my team waiting. I waved at Tony, who was counting heads, and then I sat down next to Owen, who was playing Fruit Ninja on his phone.

“Hey,” I said as I crossed one leg over the other.

“What’s up, Kels?” Owen replied without taking his eyes off the brightly colored screen.

“Who are we waiting for?” I asked as I looked around at the rest of my team. It was looking like everyone on our team was currently accounted for, and yet, I could tell someone was missing.

“You and Dane,” Owen stated, “but now that you’re here, it’s just Dane.” I probably should’ve noticed that it was the captain of our team that was missing, but I guess I’d had a brain fart or my mind just didn’t want to think about him.

However, speak of the devil and he will appear, and in this case, the devil was Dane as he strolled out of the hallway I’d also emerged from. As he approached the group, Tony threw his hands up in the air and said, “Look; our great leader emerges!”

Dane chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. “Sorry,” he said with a shrug, “I lost track of time.”

“Bullshit,” Tony replied, jutting a finger out at Dane, “I’m your roomie; I know you were just watching TV in your boxers and being lazy.”

Dane blushed, glanced at me for a moment, and then he set his jaw. “Well, I’m here now, so let’s get to the restaurant.” Tony looked like he wanted to say something, but he knew better than to mess with the now grumpy Dane. Instead, Tony called for us all to load onto the bus, and me and my teammates started to file out of the hotel.

I matched step with Owen, since he’d been one of my friends from the beginning, and I opened my mouth to start a conversation with him. However, Owen beat me to the punch when he looked at me and said, “You know, you should really talk to Dane.”

“What?” I asked, taken aback.

“You should really talk to Dane,” Owen repeated simply. “The whole team can feel the tension on and off the ice, and it’s obvious that it’s affecting both of your games. Frankly, I think we all liked it better when you guys were together, or at least friends. I think you owe it to the team to fix things between you two.”

I didn’t know how to respond to what Owen had said, and apparently, I didn’t need to because after he’d said what he wanted to say, Owen climbed onto the bus, leaving me standing there while the rest of the team also filed on. The parents who had ridden on the bus were letting us go by ourselves so it was just us.

I followed up the end of the line, and when I started down the aisle of the bus to find a seat, I saw that the one next to Dane was open. Tony, who had been sitting next to Dane the entire trip so far, was sitting in the seat behind him, and when we made eye contact, Tony motioned for me to sit in the seat next to Dane. It was then obvious to me that Owen was not the only one who wanted me to talk to Dane.

Owen was right; I owed it to the team to fix things, or at least try.

I sighed, ran a hand through my hair, and then I walked down the aisle until I came to the pair of seats where Dane was. He was looking out the window, so I cleared my throat to get his attention. When Dane saw it was me, there was a brief flicker of confusion in his eyes, but it was quickly replaced by something darker; hostility.

“Can I sit here?” I asked, pointing towards the empty seat.

“I dunno,” Dane replied emotionlessly, “Can you?”

Are you seriously going to be such a jackass? I thought, but I bit my tongue and sat down uncomfortably in the seat. I folded my hands in my lap, and for a good two minutes, there was a very tense and very cold silence between us. It became obvious to me that Dane wasn’t going to be the first one to talk, so I exhaled quietly before breaking the ice.

“So,” I started hesitantly, “I think we need to talk.”

“Talk about what?”

“Really, Dane?”

“What, Kelsey?” Dane replied, turning to face me fully for the first time since I’d sat down. “What do you want to talk about? The fact that you dumped me after I made one mistake, or the fact that I barely got any explanation?”

I blinked and couldn’t think of a way to respond to Dane’s harsh words. I mean, he was completely correct in what he was saying; I had dumped him after one mistake, and I hadn’t really explained myself. However, he really didn’t need to be so rude and childish about it. I was obviously there to extend the olive branch, and he didn’t need to make it so hard for me.

“Look,” I said, and I found my gaze go from Dane to my hands, where I was self-consciously picking at my already chipped nail polish. “Obviously, a lot happened between us after the game against the Kings, and I didn’t really give you a fair explanation. I have some stuff I want to say to you, and you really seem like you have some stuff to say to me.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Dane stated coldly, and he narrowed his eyes at me. “I have nothing to say to you, Kelsey. Anything I wanted to say back when you broke things off has been forgotten because I just don’t care anymore. I don’t care about what happened, and I don’t care about whatever we had. It was probably nothing, and it was just a distraction.”

I was speechless. Dane was being uncharacteristically nasty, and it hurt. I didn’t know if he actually meant what he was saying, but he was being really damn convincing. I felt so small and vulnerable, and I even felt close to tears, which was a rarity for me. I normally didn’t let people get to me like this, but Dane was different.

“Why are you being so mean?” I asked quietly.

“I’m not being mean, Kelsey,” Dane replied, “I’m being honest.” With that, he turned and looked out the bus window, like I didn’t mean a thing.

What made it worse, though, was the fact that I had been thinking about talking to Dane. I had wanted to talk to Dane and set things right. I’d even come to the realization that I’d missed our friendship, and also what had grown out of our friendship. However, now I felt humiliated.

Without another word, I pushed myself out of the seat. I glanced from the back of Dane’s head to Tony, whose wide eyes told me that he’d heard the same thing. Tony opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but I just shook my head. I really didn’t want to talk to anyone anymore.

Instead, I just hurried down the aisle towards the empty front of the bus, and I slid into a seat. With my back leaned up against the window, I put my feet up on the seat next to me. I was now starting to wish that I had stayed at the hotel instead of going to this dinner. I was one hundred percent sure I was not going to enjoy it.

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Look! an update! Also, it's eight minutes past midnight, but this is still a christmas present damn it!

So... Dane's being a butt... but do you guys think he really means it?

Also, I think it's time to mention that including the epilogue, this story has three chapters left! Holy crap! It's been a long time coming, but Thin Ice, along with Dane and Kelsey, are starting to wrap up! I'm pretty excited :)

I know I haven't updated in a while, but that's for a few reasons. Mostly, its because I've been applying to college, and I'm still not done yet. I also had a really important paper due for AP Lit on Paradise Lost, and two papers for AP Euro History. But, enough about my stressful life. Also, you can form an angry mob and blame my boyfriend for a smidge of my absence (but mostly, it's been school).

Hopefully, my updates on Thin Ice and Not His Girl will be more consistant as soon as I finish applications!

Song on the side is Missing by Flyleaf because its angsty, and I love it.