The next few days are gray and colorless. I can't think, I can't sleep, and I hold on to everyone I have left, like they could disappear with the morning dew. It's all dark, all terrifying, and I'm in the very center of it.

"Hey, good morning Icekit!" I jump up in the air, but it's only Shadowkit, a big smile plastered to her face. "Guess what today is?"

"Uh..." I think, but my mind is blank. "Um, it's a full moon?"

"No, silly, not even close. Today is Bluekit and Halfkit's apprentice ceremony!" She replies.

"Am I supposed to be happy for them?" I complain.

"Of course." Pinekit says with a yawn. "This means we don't have to share a den with them anymore. How great is that?"

"And they're going to name Foxsong's kits." Flintkit peeps up. I'm surprised, as he doesn't usually talk to me, nor does Littlekit.

"What do you think they'll name them?" Shadowkit asks in awe, staring at the little kits. One is silver, a dark silver like his father, the second bright red like his mother and the third a russet in between the two.

I decide to let the others talk and wander out of the den and into camp. Jumping between cats, dodging under legs, I walk to the edge of camp. The sun falls between leaves to illuminate the forest, like it's beckoning to me.

I walk past the boundary, which is composed of many bushes, and into the world beyond. The sunlight forms a trail, and I follow, jumping from one speck to the next, light shining in my eyes.

It comes down hardest in a small clearing, like the camp in miniature. There's a small mound of dirt at the center, with a wilted flower on top. I reach out to touch it and the petals fall to the ground. That's when I notice the scars on the trees. Every last one has marks, swiping up and down, as if some invisible force had carved them there.

Some invisible force... or cats.

The bushes rustle. "Hello?" I say, perking my ears.

Cinderkit walks out, her paws dragging.

"You want to come again tonight?" She asks me.

I beam, even though the thought of returning to that forest makes me want to scream and hide. "Sure!"

Cinderkit's eyes, tinged with just enough red so that you could only notice if you were looking, stare right into my soul. She purrs, a deep, guttural sound much too encompassing for a kit.

She leads me with her tail back to camp, and once we're there, acts as if nothing's happened.

"Icekit! Where were you?!" Owlfeather hisses.

"Mom! I... I was just over in the bushes. With Cinderkit."

She glowers at both of us, a snarl on her face, but she suppresses it. "Glad to see your both okay. You need to answer when I ask for you! They named the kits!"

I run to the nursery, to see the three kits squirming still by their mother's side.

"This is Everkit," announces Pinekit proudly, pointing to the grey one, "This is Firekit," he continues, indicating the red one, "and finally, this is Wildkit." The final kit looks up at me with closed eyes, mewling pitifully.

Everyone watches them, and I want to reach out and coddle them. They're so young... just three moons ago, that was me! Unbelievable.

In fact, only three moons remain until I become an apprentice.

The wind whistles, calling me back to my little paradise in the forest. Something about it comforts me.

I blink, holding a dead petal in my paw, and then crumble it up, letting the pieces fall to the floor.