15 Andrew May 20, 2020

I have a little time before I'm going to take Shannon's spot in the hospital, so I heat up some pizza. Nicole ordered it the night of dad's stroke. Five days isn't that long. It's probably still good. Besides, if I get botulism, maybe I could pull the sympathy card and get Jamie to nurse me back to health. I am watching the paper plate spin in lazy circles, wondering how my life got here.

This whole situation with Nicole has put me through the wringer. I know what it looked like when Jamie came over the other night, but it was completely innocent. It always is. I don't want Nicole that way, never have, but I don't have the heart to be cold to her with everything she has gone through. She's had a hard enough life.

Thursday was a misunderstanding, just like the pants incident.

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It was Brandon's birthday. I rounded up a few of the guys we had grown up with, and a couple more I knew he was friendly with through work.

"Come on, Bro, you never do anything. You're always moping about. You are not celebrating your birthday alone!"

"You know I don't like loud crowds. Just come over here. I have cold beer in the fridge, and it's free."

"One-it's not free. You paid for it at the store. Two- I'm hungry, and you can't cook for shit. Three- I have a table reserved at that new sports bar already." I lay on the horn. "I'm out front, get your ass in the truck!"

I hear him mutter a curse before he hangs up.

"I can cook. I choose not to." Brandon flips me off as he climbs up into my truck.

"Sure, Jan." I roll my eyes.

We ended up having a great time and shutting the place down. Brandon let loose and was feeling pretty good by the time his buddy and I hoisted him up into the back seat at the end of the night, where he promptly passed out.

I thanked the guy and was walking around to the driver's side when I saw her.

"Well, hello, Officer."

"Hey Nic, have a good night?"

"Sure did." She hiccuped.

"That's good. Glad to see you out and about. Parenting is a hard business. You gotta take a break here and there. I can't imagine doing it on my own. I'm so lucky Jamie is such a good mother."

"I think Jamie is the one who should be counting her blessings," she slurred as she stumbled a little closer to me.

I stepped forward and caught her by the elbows. "You're not driving home, are you?"

"I planned on it. That is unless you want to give me a ride?" She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"How about I call you a cab?"

"By the time they get here, it'll be 3 am." She pouted.

Shit. Nicole was right. I can't leave her out here by herself. Something could happen to her. We never did find Erin. I don't want to go through that again. "Alright, hop in."

She smiles victoriously.

We get in the truck, and I tell her to buckle up.

I hear her shuffling around and complaining that it's hot while I wait my turn to exit the parking lot. I pull out on the street and tell her the AC is broken.

The next thing I know, she has her boots and denim leggings off.

"Damn it, Nicole, what are you doing?!"

"I told you, it's hot in here."

"Put your clothes back on!"

"I told you, I'm hot..." she drunkenly whined again.

I rolled the window down halfway. "There. Now put your damn pants back on."

She crossed her arms, trying to push her breasts together provocatively, but only succeeded in looking like a petulant toddler. "It's not a crime to look, you know. You two aren't even married."

It wasn't my fault Jamie, and I weren't married yet. I proposed. She said yes.

I thought we'd be married right away, but she keeps pushing it. First, she wanted me to graduate from the academy. Then her parent's moved back east. Then we got pregnant, and she didn't want it to look like a shotgun wedding. Then her parents got divorced. Then she went back to school and wanted to finish.

Shit, I would have been happy to marry her at the courthouse the night she said yes!

I ignored Nicole as she sulked. Eventually, she let out a drunk snore, and I relaxed.

When we got to her house, I woke her and shoved her feet into her boots. I wasn't even going to try to get her pants on her. Thank God her shirt was long enough to cover her ass cheeks. The babysitter opened the door when she heard us fumbling at the door.

She gave me an exasperated look and said that she would take it from here.

I thanked her and handed over Nicole's purse that she had dropped on the sidewalk. "Make sure she gets some water. She's going to be hurting tomorrow."

"I know the drill. She does this all the time. But hey, she pays well."

A few miles down the road, I parked in front of Brandon's. I reached over the seat and gave his shoulder a hard shove. "Your castle awaits, Princess." He scoffed and headed to the front door.

"You got it from here, or do you need me to tuck you in?"

"Nah, I'm good. Thanks for the night out. I actually had a really good time."

"Yup. Happy Birthday, Old Man."

He grunted his disapproval of the pet name. I waited for him to flash the porch light before heading home.

When I got home, Jamie was already asleep. I took a quick shower to rid myself of the beer/cigarette combo clinging to me before snuggling up against her and falling asleep myself.

When I woke in the morning, Jamie had left for work, and Eli was at school. I waited outside for my partner, Clark, to pick me up. I was leaving my truck home, so Jamie could run it over to Brandon so he could fix the AC for me.

After work, I walked into an empty house. Well, not completely empty. There was a folded pair of women's jeans in the middle of the floor with a ring resting on top.

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That's not the only time Nicole has messed things up for me, but it is the worst. I have spent the last 18 months trying to get Jamie back. She says that she believes me about the 'pants incident', but doubt still lingers. What happened on Thursday did not help at all.

Or rather what didn't happen.

After poking around under the hood of Nic's Jeep, I realized that I was in over my head. Usually, I would have called Brandon, but he loathes Nicole, so I called AAA and got her a tow. The plan had been to drop her off at her house and take the boys back to mine. Once we got to her house, she realized that she had sent her keys with the tow truck driver. So we all went back to my place and ordered pizza. Bedtime rolled around. I didn't feel right about letting her sleep in the pajamas Jamie leaves over, so I gave her a pair of my boxers. Then I made up the couch for her. I knew if I took the couch and let her sleep in my bed, Jamie would never sleep in that bed again.

I wish Jamie would let me explain, but she shuts me down every time I try. Things had been going so well. We'd been dating again. She had even spent the night a few times when Eli was at a friend's. She wasn't ready to live together again, and we didn't want to get his hopes up even though mine were. I've known that Jamie was it for me since I was 15. I ask her to marry me at least once a week. She said yes once a few weeks ago but the next morning took it back, saying it was the moscato that had answered for her.

I will get that ring back on her finger, though. It is literally in my pocket at all times.