They of the Sun
Chapter Twenty: Acrophobia

"...ska"

"...a."

"...ra."

"Cyra! You're awake!"

I rolled over in my bed, throwing one of the extra pillows at whoever was yelling right in my ear. There was a muffled thud, followed by an annoyed cry. The more alert my mind became the more aware I was that this wasn't my room.

"Bagooo!"

    I felt a smooth, leathery nudge to my arm and a weight on the bed next to me. I would've kept my eyes open if it wasn't for the Bagon sniffing my hair with interest... Hau was standing next to the bed, crumbs on his cheeks from a half-eaten malasada. Waking up in a PMC wasn't really what I had wanted for the day...

"He hafn't waffed to leave ya," Hau said around a mouthful of food as he offered the Pokémon another bite. It, too, had crumbs around it's mouth. I sat up slowly... there was definitely a lump on my head.

"How long was I out?"

I hated this cliché passing out shit. Why did it have to fall on me?

"Eerrr," he held up his fingers, counting slowly, "since yesterday."

I was a day behind. Another fucking day stuck doing these fucking Trials. Fuck. At least my headache was gone...

"This is your fault," I jabbed a finger at the Bagon, whose eyes widened before welling with tears. It let out a dismayed wail as it hugged onto Hau.

"Hey!" Hau frowned, patting the Pokémon. "The little guy didn't want to leave you alone. Plus... You're the one who wanted to explore..."

He had me there...

His eyes lit up then as he turned to reach for something on the nightstand. A green PokéBall unlike any I'd seen with a golden circle and four little red marks near the center button. "This is for you."

He plopped the sphere down on my lap as I stared at it. I knew what he was hoping for... Even though I wasn't in as much pain as before, I was still too worn out to put up a fight with him. I took the shrunken orb, clicking the button twice to enlarge it. A gentle toss towards the Bagon was all it took to have it captured inside as the PokéBall quivered... once... twice...

Click.

      Another one bites the dust...

"Are you happy now?"

Hau gave me a cheeky smile and a nod as he gathered his things to leave. Finally alone, I sat there looking at the PokéBall in my hand. I hadn't caught a new Pokémon since Melemele... my mind was immediately trying to come up with names. All I could think was of this little creature standing up on the cliff ten feet above me, trembling. A Bagon that was scared of heights... I thought their whole thing was wanting to fly. It didn't take too much thinking for me to feel a headache coming on.

I reached over to my bag, letting the Poké Ball drop into it. The minutes slowly ticked away as I laid in the bed for a few more minutes before deciding I should get going, I was wasting more of my life than I wanted to be on the Island Challenge. But what better things could I be doing? Going to school? Studying to be what I wanted to be? I didn't even know what that was, since I didn't really even want to be.

A dreadful roll out of the fluffy duvet of the bed and a change of clothes later I was stepping out into the exceedingly cool night air. I let out a small groan of annoyance, my breathe hanging in front of me as a mist. I had slept through an entire day. I know the whole schtick for teenagers was staying up all night, but actually staying up all night was... another story. There was no point in going back to bed and making things longer. This is the closest to the sky I had been since...

     "Alola, Cyra!"

     An enthusiastic greeting echoed to my ears, causing me to cringe as I turned away from the massive observatory in front of me. Near the railings at the edge of the summit was Professor Kukui, grinning despite being shirtless in the cold. "How you doing, cousin? Been a while, yeah?"

     I had nothing better to do, but I always had something better to do than actually interact with people. I guess not, since I felt my legs make their way to Kukui. His kind smile was unwavering even as I gave him no answer expect a huff. The man probably expected it by now. For whatever reason, his grin grew wider. "I can see it now, you've grown since Melemele! Oh yeah!"

     Something on my face must've faltered as I glanced over to him, leaning against the railing. I had to fight hard to keep my teeth from chattering, while the harsh cold did nothing to his bare chest. He let out a bolstering laugh. "It's becoming apparent in your eyes, you're reaching new heights, yeah! And I thought you were scared of 'em."

        The mist that escaped my mouth gave away to the snort I let out, focusing my eyes ahead... through the dimly lit night and obscurity of thin clouds I could see another peak in the distance. Ula'Ula was much bigger than Melemele or Akala, but I hadn't expected a whole other mountain... Something about being so high gave me anxiety. Maybe it was the memories that resounded in my head or the possibility of falling. Who knew that falling was an option for me? I could die in an instant... the appeal of death wasn't as desirable as before. I couldn't put my finger on this will to live. The feeling of reaching...

     "That's Mount Lanakila," Kukui began, his tone lowering a bit as he fell into thought. The usual light in his eyes brightened, his facial expression was a mask I had only seen in battle. A thrill of something new. "The most sacred spot in Alola, the closest to the heavens you will ever be. The closest to the emissaries of the sun and the moon. In Sinnoh, you have Mt. Coronet, yeah?"

     The heavens...

   "Yeah, I've been there," I said, gritting my teeth in part to the cold but also in part to the recollections that lone sentence brought about. It was as hazy as seeing through a blizzard and yet... that sense of dread was cold and clear cut like the ruins of the Spear Pillar... that place. That space. I clung to the guard rail until I could feel my knuckles threaten to burst from underneath my skin.

      "Are you reaching for them? The heavens?"

     Was I? It wasn't an answer I had... I never had an answer to the questions that were thrown at me. I could only turn my head away, my mouth filling with a sour taste. Those eyes, those haunting eyes... The aura at the top of that ruin....

"No."

      I could only hear the rustle of Kukui's coat as he stiffened beside me. I took deep breathes, refusing to feel as weak as I was. I probably needed more time to recover from such a hard hit, but I couldn't waste as much time as I was. I needed to focus, to collect myself enough to move onwards. My eyes stayed trained on the peak of Mount Lanakila, flickering lights at the top. I could make out the vague figures of machinery atop.

     "That's where the new League will be," Kukui said, changing the subject. Careful and subtle. I knew he knew. It irritated me that he knew. When had my guard gone so low? "Guzma complains about us being so traditional... but that isn't true. This is ever-changing. I figured this was a good change. One that you may be more familiar with, yeah? A height you can reach. Something to help your acrophobia. To help you reach the potential the Tapu saw in you."

I closed my eyes. Tapu, always the fucking Tapu. If I focused on the taste in my mouth and the feelings that I didn't want, I'd puke... Finally, I managed to utter a soft, "So what?"

I pulled my jacket in closet around me, trying to trap in the heat. Why has this gone on so long? "This was never what I was reaching for."

"But it's the Tap-", Kukui began.

"And? What about me? What I want? Arceus, has it ever occurred to you I don't want to just mindlessly reach for what some mystical thing wants me to reach for? I have my own thoughts, you know."

There was a moment of silence before Kukui let out a chortle. Placing an irking hand on my shoulder, he breathed out to speak.

"I know," Kukui said, "but if you don't reach for something, that's how you flail forever in the darkness, cousin. Fly to low to the sea and your wings will become too damp to fly. The weight will drag you under."

It already has. I shook my head. He didn't understand, none of them did. This wasn't my choice. I didn't get a fucking choice. As quickly as his hand landed on me, it fell to his side with a shrug of my shoulder. No matter what I voiced, it was disregarded over and over! I never stood a chance... even if I was chosen, my words still didn't matter. I was so tired of it. Tapu this, Tapu that! If I wasn't just some toy for their tradition, wouldn't the things I say matter more? The things I do... the things I do. But maybe... I reached into my bag, letting the Trainer Passport flop to the slushy, muddy ground.

"I quit."

Our dirt colored eyes met in a clash of wills, but before he could speak I whipped around. I stuffed my hands into the pockets of my jacket, taking the longest strides I could to put distance between this entire mistake of a journey and the walking embodiment of a mistake that is myself. I could hear his voice behind me, but I tuned in to the sound of thing snow beneath my boots.

He thought I had a fear of heights! I had nothing to fear from a little distance between myself and the ground below me. He thought I couldn't reach, but it wasn't reaching the top of a cliff that scared me. It wasn't even jumping off that scared me... the thought thrilled me, if anything. A thought struck me then as I made my way down the mountain, passing by the little jagged assortment of cliffs. Where Bagon had stood trembling after knowingly climbing up great heights... despite his fear.

Acrophobia...

My trembling little Bagon. Acro.

Too bad his journey had ended before it could begin.