tw: death threats, throwing up (not in detail though). this one's a doozy.

dex woke up to the sound of juline's muffled sobbing.

he blinked his eyes open, disoriented. mom? he mumbled. what time is it?

his room was dark, & his blankets were soft & light. it was dark out: early morning, probably. he remembered what had happened the day before, & felt suddenly as though a beam of sunlight had lodged itself in his chest.

& then dex heard another sob, & knew something had to be wrong.

he sat up, stretching, listening for the tiniest hint of what was wrong. he couldn't remember the last time juline had cried. usually, she was strong: easily conquering difficult situations, probably by contacting the black swan some of the time, but often all on her own.

the sunlight in his chest curdled like spoiled milk & sunk down, until it was right above his stomach. fear. nerves.

we have to go, eda. we should be there for them. that's just not right.

eda. so she was talking to her sister. but who was 'them'? what wasn't right?

what was going on?

do you think i should wake the kids? i don't want to worry them. a pause. i guess since they're dex's friends...

now he was definitely scared. which friends? sophie? but that was only one...

mom? he asked softly, paddling out of the room. juline was sitting at a small table, amber hair loose & messy, talking on her imparter. what's going on?

she frowned when she saw him, worry lines around her eyes deepening. dex is here, eda. i have to go.

once the imparter was off, she turned to dex, not even trying to hide her glassy turquoise eyes & the tears surrounding them. dex, something happened. to... to the vackers.

he drew in a shaky breath, mind whirling.

fitz.

is everyone okay? he asked quickly.

yes, everyone is fine, thankfully. she shook her head. it's horrible. there were protests all this morning, elves marching & chanting cruel, bigoted things in front of everglen. they vandalized the gates with cruel drawings of biana & linh.

is it still happening? dex asked, heart pounding. fitz. biana. linh, too. & keefe & tam. he knew what this was about.

the rioters have mostly been broken up, but there's still many of them there. she stood up decisively. aunt eda & i are going to help out della.

can i come? dex burst out.

juline gave him a long glance. she looked tired, achingly so. are you sure you want to, dex? it's going to be hard to bear.

he nodded, a pair of aquamarine eyes floating behind his own. i... yeah. yeah, i should go.

okay.

that was maybe one of the best things about juline. she didn't underestimate you. she saw you exactly as you were, & she let you do what you wanted.

so they leaped to the back of everglen, a secure, separate entrance the public didn't seem to know about. although he didn't see anyone directly, or any of the crude graffiti, he could hear chanting. give us back our system. give us back our system.

della greeted them at the door, & dex felt a small swell of pride when he saw her. she looked exhausted, but determined, not defeated. juline. dex. it's good of you to come.

juline nodded. eda & her family are on the way, she said softly.

della let out a long sigh. there was something scarily steely in her cobalt eyes. that's good.

she let them into the house, & walked with edaline to a table, where they began discussing something serious in low tones. dex began to wander around, starting towards fitz's room.

but biana saw him before he could get there. dex. hi. dex had seen her upset before, when alden had broken. she'd kept her face plain, worn a single bland ponytail. this time was different. she was murderous, he could see that in her eyes. but she was wearing her anger like a battle mask of makeup. she was dressed as well as usual, if not better then certainly more sophisticated. a long black sleeveless gown, sleek & sparkle-free, black flats. her wavy brown hair bounced around her face in layers. to his surprise, dex noticed that she had highlighted the ends silver. come in.

slightly nervous, he entered her room. it was as pink as he remembered, & to his surprise, the window shades were wide open, flooding the room with light & revealing the angry, self-righteous protesters, chanting & yelling. you don't... want to close that?

fuck no. her liner-rimmed eyes narrowed. they're here. they hate me. why should i hide from that? i'm gonna embrace that shit. she swung around towards the window. do you hear that, bitches? i'm not hiding from you!

dex didn't think it was possible to have this much respect for someone.

biana turned back towards him. linh would be here but mom says it's too dangerous for her. that's bullshit. these assholes know where she lives. she paused. what are they chanting now?

what?

what are they chanting? i'd open the window but last time i did that they started throwing things, bottles & rocks & bricks & shit like that. they want to kill me. they genuinely want me to die.

dex swallowed, & suddenly he felt unbearably ashamed of loving fitz, when he let biana deal with... with this. i'm sorry.

she shrugged carelessly. not your fault. what are they chanting?

um... 'give us back our system', i think.

biana laughed, but it was harsh & cold. yeah, they're all about the fucking matchmaking system. like this changes anything for them. but, whatever. that's not even bad. they didn't say anything about me. she smiled grimly. the worst one was 'burn biana'. that's it. like, nothing else. just 'burn biana'. they want to burn me.

she proceeded to show him the crude doll of her lying on the floor, a rope tied around its neck. see this? someone made this, & threw it in my fucking window. they took the time out of their life to make it. to make this doll, & pretend to hang it. she threw it on the ground so viciously that her silver ends bounced up & down. so, that's a little fucked up.

& then dex was running to the bathroom. leaning over the toilet & throwing up, & he was crying because biana had to be so brave. & then someone cleared his throat, & dex looked up &...

fitz. his voice was hoarse.

fitz's hand squeezed into a fist. dex.

he closed the bathroom door behind him. dex. we need to talk.

yeah, okay. bad timing? dex leaned over & threw up again.

sorry.

he grabbed a piece of toilet paper & wiped his mouth, flushing the toilet. yeah. no. okay. sorry. that was gross. are you okay?

for the first time, he realized how stiffly fitz was standing, how forced he looked. & then it all spilled out of him in a rush, no truth ring required. dex, we can't be a thing. anymore. ever.

wh-what? you said... but...

fitz shook his head. the air smelled sour around them. but nothing. do you see what's happening outside? they came, dex. they came for biana, & they will come for me if i date you. i'm not half as brave as her. i can't deal with that. i'm already a vacker. they'll already be expecting it at this point. & i won't be able to deal with my dad, & everyone... i just can't do it.

dex stared at fitz, & his words came out low. you jerk.

i'm sorry. i need to focus on redeeming myself, fixing my vacker legacy.

what's wrong with you? dex stared at fitz incredulously. biana got a death threat thrown into her window, & she laughed it off. how are you related to her? you're, like, a sixteenth of the person she is.

dex. i'm sorry, okay? i am. he looked away, wiped his eyes. tell no one. about our kisses. & stuff. & then the door was swinging open & he was gone.

dex stood up, dazed. from far away, he heard juline's voice. eda! you're here!

he found he had never hated anyone more than he hated sophie in that moment. sophie, who was going to waltz in & who fitz was going to kiss because he wanted to hide from who he was. sophie, who would never even know that fitz had promised he would break up with her today. sophie, who didn't even bother to even talk to him anymore.

sophie, who he knew without a doubt would be kissing fitz before she even saw biana. biana, who was getting fucking death threats thrown through her window.

so he rinsed his mouth out & left the bathroom, & he walked back to biana's room, shaky but purposeful. he wouldn't be bitter. he wouldn't watch through the crack in fitz's door. he'd stay with biana, who had to be losing her mind through all of this.

dex didn't feel better. not at all. but he did feel like he'd made the right choice.

& that had to count for something.

a/n: whew. okay. wow. i know it's been a while, but hopefully that chapter made up for that. wow. biana isn't a queen anymore. she's a fucking demon goddess angel. & the fitzter  is a rat again. damn. that was... wow. if you didn't read the chapter because of the trigger warnings at the top, pm me & i'll send you a summary. please vote & comment, it means a lot to me. i hope you guys have great days xx ilya