Notes: 

!!Warning!! There is a slight depiction of mental conditions like depression and for some reason, if something in the story feels offensive or insulting PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

At first, I wrote this unconsciously and it felt like a rant and ended up sharing it on the tutor's sharing page. Surprisingly, she got interested in this concept and I somewhat felt glad about it?

Anyways, this wasn't part of the lecture or seminar task but rather just my own piece. And I have to let you know that this piece is going to be a bit confusing due to how it's written and its style, also this piece talks about I how I felt and still feel when it comes to people 'commenting' on what I'm doing in life and what I believe in. 

As usual, I'll let you be the judge of this. 

Without further ado, enjoy!

~~~

It's fascinating, really fascinating to see people ask me dumb questions, or throw 'hard facts' at me thinking they're the smart ones. I am as surprised as them when we see each other's ways of life, and how all of them are bold enough to ask me those questions out loud meanwhile mine are hidden in my mind, well because of fear of hurting their feelings even though they're the ones hurting mine.

I am as surprised as them when it comes to my reaction towards things, how I'm always calm, and quiet, always calm and quiet even when some of their questions truly triggered me– Well something inside of me. 

Instead of bursting, I somehow held this thing inside so tight it couldn't get out. Instead of even sobbing my heart out, a smile, a genuine smile indeed, was drawn on my face. Wow, that is all I could say about myself, just wow.

Those dumb questions they ask made me wonder and say to myself "Wow, and they say they're the smartest people, and here they are confused about why their lives are so tedious". Those questions ranged from "Do you shower or sleep with that thing on?" to "Why do you believe in things that don't exist? When you've got science?" 

Well listen here Barbara or whatever your name is, so you're telling me to leave behind the very thing that kept me not only hopeful but also sane in this mad world, and join you in that filthy pit of despair? And you want me to believe that everything has a 'scientific' explanation? 

Tell me, Deborah, can science explain why, in the year 2018 or 2017, the sky in my home country turned red as rose so randomly? I'm not exaggerating when I say 'red as rose'.

The same thing happened again but in China, and according to the article written about this 'phenomena', it said explicitly and directly, look here Darcy, that 'science can't explain'. How do you explain that? So much for 'scientific explanation'. Wow, like... Wow. You know, here's how it feels like when you tell me things like that:

So you don't like it– Actually, you hate it when you read a book or watch a movie or play a game when, after the obstacles and challenges the characters went through, it turned out that it was a dream or in their heads, or it was just a costume or a rare medical syndrome. 

Yeah, Becky, you're doing the exact thing to me, whenever I mention something supernatural– Or more of religion– You come here and tell me that it's all 'fake', thus you ruin my sanity thinking you've done justice. Wow, oh my god just wow.

You know, there's nothing wrong, really, to believe in things that can't be explained by science and actually live in the moment, and also think about this in a positive way. Oh yes, according to what I'm taught and my own research:

There was a pegasus that existed and our prophet rode on it to get from the Haram Mosque to Al-Quds Mosque in Palestine, magic is real so yes Cindy there is witchcraft in our midst, there are different species and types of literal demons and Jinns, yes there is what people call the most dangerous book of dark magic on earth and it's hidden somewhere and–

"What are you doing sitting like that?" Dad asked me from across the room, sitting on the sofa.

I blinked and looked around to realise I was in my parents' spacious bedroom, sitting on their bed like The Thinker statue while their large TV displayed youtube videos of Istanbul's markets.

"Um... Just thinking," I said coldly.

"About what?"

"Just... I have a lot on my mind that's all."

My dad made a slow nod as he returned to watching the screen. Not only is he not going to be able to handle my thoughts, but also, he might've lectured me about where I got this information from... Or actually he does believe in these things as well.

Because as a knower of the supernatural, I couldn't help but notice the books my dad was reading on his nightstand. They weren't there before.