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It just didn't fit.
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MISS MOONSHINE led the way, sunnily whistling a soft tune, as our two groups followed after.

"For a woman named Moonshine, she sure is sunny," Ari commented lowly to her friend who chuckled at the comment.

Lira freely snickered along, whilst grins showed up on every other face.

"I heard that, sweetheart," Miss Moonshine hummed from the front, glancing back at Ari with a dimpled smile and a knowing wink.

Ari only rolled her eyes and folded her arms.

My smile stayed on, I felt lighter despite everything that happened only a few hours ago. And I knew why that was. My gaze lingered on my friend group. I can't believe I was smiling this soon after Harvest.

My heart skipped a beat at the memory, a memory I pulled myself out of entirely before I could sink further in. I couldn't think about his words. I was doing so well blocking them so far.

They made me feel so angry, dark, and - heavy like there was a thundercloud right above my head every time I thought back to that moment.

Deep down I could feel myself brewing with anger, at both him and myself for my evident folly.

There was a lot on my mind, and I knew I had a decision to make, but for now-

My gaze trailed to my friends watching as Lira ruffled Claire's hair as she protested and David laughed whilst Omkara side glanced their way with his arms folded, chuckling slightly.

Watching my friends made me feel a whole lot better.
I had friends. People I could count on.

People who should be able to count on me too.

The thought lingered and I pursed my lips. Decisions- I had a decision to make.

The sudden feel of a tall looming presence came up behind me, a tall shadow shielding me from the sun.

Almost immediately, my mind seemed to still. I could feel everything, including the light breeze that shifted my hair slowly and trailed the back of my neck

The shadow moved beside me and I took a shallow breath out, looking at it.

Lucas.

His eyes bore into mine, soft and kind,  lips pressed.

"Hi."

I smile immediately, nodding, yet I note that it is a rigid greeting. No bestie at the end of the word. My gaze trails him.

His hands were tucked behind his back, a small grin plastered on his face, warm but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

There was something on his mind. Something serious. Or maybe I was thinking too hard.

Still, as the wind blew between us, the atmosphere felt rigid and cold. I did not know why I felt this way.

Hesitant, unsure, Dry, and awkward. I look away, my eyebrows dipping for a moment. I try to shake the feeling off. It's far too unsettling to feel like this when I'm with Lucas.

He clears his throat, and my ears prick up immediately.

"Are...you alright?" He asks quietly, dragging the word for a second.

I turn slightly at how hoarse his voice sounds, voice sounds hoarse and I'm caught off guard at the genuine concern in his shifted tone, slightly downcast and breathless.

I looked at him again, and his eyes bore into mine, watching me intently as if he would be able to spot any discomfort I would attempt to hide or lie about.

And though it is a soft look, I notice he no longer smiles, as if he's asked a serious question.

It is strange. This is not the usual sunny Lucas.  What changed? It hits me all too quickly.

He knows.

Almost immediately my mouth runs sour, and my heart thuds within me.

He is an original. If Harvest knew the details of the Basilisk, so did Lucas and the Twins.

Which means he knew it was me. That I was responsible for that. He knew everything.

I turned away at the revelation, my heartbeat increasing slightly. I felt exposed and part of me didn't want to see his reaction to all this.
I don't know why.

Omkara and Lira seem to be taking it well. Lucas was my friend. I shouldn't feel the way I do now and yet, it dawned on me.

In the back of my mind, my relationship with Lucas has always been one of sunshine, peace, and happiness, laughter in this realm of chaos and I believe the feeling is mutual.

However, whatever I had done was the complete opposite of that.

It was dark and cold. Perhaps Evil.

I looked away at the thought, my throat feeling scratchy all of a sudden. The complete opposite of what we were. I am slightly ashamed of thinking this way. I know Lucas Bowne.

I know him. And that's why I know I'm right.

Nodding instead, I signed that I was fine. This time more rigid.

My hands fell to my side uselessly, keeping my gaze forward.

Silence loomed between the two of us and the longer it went on the more uncomfortable I became, especially when I felt his gaze studying the side of my face.

What was he thinking?

Was he surprised I was capable of such destruction?

I did not mean to do it, or perhaps I did.
I swallow dryly.

I was angry then. I remember thinking how badly I wanted her to feel some sort of pain. And that feeling conjured a deadly basilisk that rampaged  through the forest and-

"Talanda, I wish to apologize," he confesses suddenly.

My eyebrows draw in and the world goes silent for a moment. My thoughts become nothing.

An apology?

I turn back to him but he's already watching, and when he captures my gaze I feel him searching my eyes.

I'm searching his. A hint of desperation in them, guilt.

Why guilt?

The revelation makes me nervous. I know I can not handle anything bad right now. Not after Harvest. Please no more.

And especially not from Him.

He's always represented warmth and safety to me to some extent. To think that might be taken away too makes me feel both defensive and scared. I almost do not want to listen. I have a feeling, this horrible feeling I'm going to lose something.

But even more than the feeling, I'm curious.

I swallow before signing carefully, catching his eyes. I give him a moment.

[Why?]

Holding my gaze, he lets out a shaky breath, before looking away.

He turns forward as if he cannot say it to my face. I note his jaw is tightly clenched, only ripening my anticipation.

He looks far ahead as we walk, and remains quiet for a few seconds I feel almost embraced a minute as if inwardly battling what to say.

For the life of me, I can not imagine Lucas doing anything wrong, but if it's bad, and I mean bad, I would rather rip the bandaid off.

The wound would heal side by side with Harvest's cuts and I would surely live.

He looked so serious. I think I was shaking slightly.

I could feel the heaviness in the moment, and the gravity of his hesitation. The loose strands that fall out of his bun, shift softly in the wind when he looks at the ground and finally speaks, muscles stiff in his combat suit.

"Harvest was right," he states quietly. Though his head turns slightly in my direction, he keeps his gaze on the ground, jaw ticking.

I'm blank. Utterly blank. My breath remains held, and I just watch.

He lifts his head his shoulders falling slightly, taking a breath before he speaks again-

"As mysterious, calm, and utterly perfect as you are," he begins, there is a small smile between his sentences, "I've always thought there was something powerful hidden behind those pretty eyes that bewitch everything they look at." His voice is breathless.

My eyes widened slightly at the sudden compliment as he turned to look at me, but I looked away way quicker.

My cheeks feel like they've been put on the stove, and my hands are suddenly sweaty. It was unexpected but I am fighting a small smile that appears across my face.

It is nice. Nice words, that curb my stomach.

But why do I feel a sense of impending doom, a foreboding?

My eyebrows arch for a moment. He says he wishes to apologize.  I remind myself. No need to get flustered.

Lucas is- he is absolutely wonderful. He says nice things all the time, nice things that are too nice. He's a good friend who Knows how to lift a girl's spirits when she's down and knows how to make a girl laugh. He is a good company, he has beautiful dreams and hopes, and when he is sad he is still kind. Devilishly charming. Perhaps too charming he did not realize that sometimes he went a little bit too far and it could no longer be considered plays between friends but flirting. Like the boys in the stories, I used to read.

My cheeks heat further. It is worse that his eyes
are still on me. Studying me with so much depth, I repeat my last line of thought.

He should not be looking at me like that. It's too intense.

And for a man with his looks and his charms, it was hard for one to ignore or remember it was simply how he was built.

Too nice.

I tried to focus on any and everything else to stop myself from becoming too flustered knowing he could probably hear how fast my heart was beating with his Amarok ears.

I try to keep my eyes on my friends instead, noting that Lira has turned a couple of times glancing at us.

Omkara too, although Claire and David are still in some sort of war.

"Talanda."

He calls my name and I do not waste a moment to look back up at him, my whole attention, my whole being toward him.

I truly do not deserve him.

He holds a breath, pauses, his gaze drops to my lips stays there for a moment too long, and then looks away rather quickly.

His jaw ticks again when he does that look I spotted before returns in a flash.

"When I saw the Basilisk you created I wanted to kill it," he confesses coldly.

I am thrown aback at the sudden statement. To the point, I freeze in place. My heart thumps harshly within me.

Heaven- heaven knows that I am first to understand why one would have that reaction and yet my body turns cold at his statement.

I watch him. He only takes a couple of steps before he stops too. I watch as his shoulders fall, his back stiff but he does not turn, keeping his gaze forward. I just stare at his back.

I don't know why I feel this way.

I try to think it through. It was a logical reaction. I know that if I had met a ten-foot basilisk in the forest and I knew I could kill it, I probably would and still, I feel betrayed.

"We should...we should keep walking, Talanda," he says quietly.

I note Ari and Andrew have looked back up at us, but I'm stiff. I just can't move.

He suddenly turns around and walks back to me standing right before me, a towering figure.

I hold his gaze as he looks down at me.

My breathing seems to become more difficult as I note how tense he looks.

Think Talanda. Calmly. It's not that deep I try to tell myself.

I look away for a moment, trying to understand why he felt the need to tell me this. What I came up with so quickly felt weird and still, it felt true. Like something I've always known.

[Did you-] I pause, feeling weak,  [Did you know it was mine?].

I ask only to be sure. Though I feel I know the answer already.

He watches my hands move and then looks away, he seems hesitant to answer but nods.

Okay. I blink.

There are still many reasons left. It was a basilisk. It was scary. That's probably why he wanted to kill it. It was hurting students, right? That's the answer.

Let it be the answer.

Because that's why I would kill it. If I was scared of it and I thought it wished to hurt me. That's why I ran. I was scared and yet, for some reason-

I don't believe he was.

[Why?] I ask. I'm almost afraid to add-  [Were you scared of it?].

The question brings out a reaction in him I have never seen, subtle, and yet it spoke many words. His gaze lifted off me into the space above my head.

He grits his jaw. "No Talanda. I wasn't."

I stare at him blankly. I'm more confused and still, it's clearer than ever before.

[Then why did you want to kill it?]

It's a question with a million right answers. A million good answers. A million, these will be fine answers. And he chooses none of them.

I should appreciate he speaks the truth. It's Lucas Bowne. It's what one would expect.

He looks into my eyes shaking his head. It's a sorrowful stare.

His gaze falls to the ground again, "Don't ask me that. Please don't ask me that, Talanda."

It's quiet again.

The camp is quiet. Everything is clear and quiet. I study his face, and when he glances up at me, I ask again, stronger this time.

[Why did you want to kill it?]

He blinks, and he stands straighter, folding his arms, teeth clamped together.

His eyes redden and he looks at me through wet eyelashes.

He shakes his head again, chuckles sadly, and breathes out, "It was—it was just  a monster, a dark deception. It's what I'm supposed to do," pauses and then he holds my eyes,  his tone so much quieter than before, "and it just didn't fit."

My heart falls.

Fit. I didn't fit.

He takes a step forward, I take one back shaking my head, "No, Talanda please-"

I raise a hand to stop him from speaking.

Silence. I needed quiet and I needed frickin silence.

He is, isn't he?

Just like Harvest. Another disappointment.

I feel gone. Cold. Absent.

I look into his eyes, [What didn't fit?]

He is quiet. His eyes are full of guilt but he clenches his jaw and shakes his head.

"I don't want to say it." It's almost like a whisper.

[You're confessing too, aren't you?] I sign.

Anger flashes through me. His eyebrows deepen at the statement.

But I just stare at him. I'm mad. I'm angry again. I was getting better.  I was doing so well, better in only a few hours and now I feel worthless again.

The truth will set you free? Isn't that how the saying goes?

He seems to register that I'm serious too.

His head slanted to the side, a hand pressing against his neck, "It didn't fit you."

There. There it was.

"Talanda, I know you." He grunts, "You're sweet and sunny, quiet and still fierce but you're also kind-" he breathes out, "when I saw it, it was everything you're not. Monstrous, hissing,  cold-blooded, bloodthirsty, destructive-" he takes a breath his eyebrows drawing in as if describing it from memory, "so powerful-"

[Powerful?] I sign stopping him mid-way.

My eyes are wide. Realization hit me like a bus.

He pauses, eyebrows drawing in. Then realization crosses his eyes, and he immediately stutters, "I didn't mean-"

[The statue-] I sign, my heart thuds within me. The one he made of me. The fierce one. The strong-willed. [You said I was-] my jaw tightens.

Does it even matter now? It's a confession.

I feel foolish. Because Harvest was right. I was painfully naive.

[You lied] was all I signed, my hands falling like paper to my side.

He shakes his head quickly.

"Ofcourse not."

I chuckle.

"I swear."

I fight the urge to roll my eyes. Lies.

His hand clamps around my wrist, and my eyes dart to the contact, his gaze bringing mine to his, "Talanda I swear, everything I said, was true," he grits. His eyes are pleading but serious when he looks at me,

"I know how incredible you are, and I know you're strong and insanely talented-" he pauses, letting go of my writs, he shakes his head, "I meant it. I just never thought-"

[I was that powerful?] I finish his sentence for him. He and Harvest should be best friends. They thought the same of me and lied about it.

I feel numb as I look at him. Stupid. Because I was right and wrong about him.

Right about the sort of relationship we had, and wrong about everything else.

He frowns, "C'mon Talanda. Don't look at me like that," his jaw ticks.

My gaze shifts off him in response, I'm out.

Out of my headspace. I need a safe place from all of this.

"Talanda," he calls softly. Desperately.

I look back at him, but I'm gone.

"I know-" he breathes out, "I know you must feel hurt, I know I hurt you," he speaks searching my eyes, "and I'm so sorry. " a hand rests over his heart.

The sad part is he does sound earnest.

He does sound sorry. And he is a good guy for even telling me all this.

But I'm simply hurt. And I can't help but feel he should have kept this one for another day. I can't help but wish I was anywhere else but here. I wish I never stepped foot on Kingsland. I wish I never got myself involved with any of them.

His hands drop to his side and I feel him watching me.

He sighs softly, "It was Harvest," he says.

I am listening but I don't bother looking at him.

"He said something that brought me back to my right senses. He said, that if you made it, it can not be  a monster."

I really don't care what Harvest said.

"And then I thought of you," he continues, "Monstrous or not it was a part of you. And hating it, and hurting it, would be like hating and hurting a piece of you-" his voice breaks.

It's so raw that my gaze finally shifts back to him.

The wind passes through his hair, and his jaw ticks but his eyes are red, and dare I say it I think there are actual tears in his eyes,

"A-and that's just something I don't think I could ever do-" he whispers the final part, "I think it would break me if I ever hurt you."

I stare at him momentarily. The silence returns. I don't know what to feel or think.

He keeps watching me quietly, he studies me and it's silent again.

He smiles softly, but when I don't respond and my eyes remain dead, tears cloud his own further, and it's like his voice breaks when he speaks, "I think-"

He searches my eyes again, "I lied when I said I didn't use you to get back to Daya." He swallows, "I think deep down you made me feel better about everything. I did use you to get over her in a sense-" he looks at the ground and he's breathing heavily.

Yes. Those are tears brimming.

"I would never- I want you to know that I would never want to hurt you. But I know now that I can be selfish-" he states, "that I want to believe I'm a good guy. But I am selfish with you. You good for me Talanda, so good that I wanted you to be, what I wanted." He takes a step forward, "because that's what I needed. I am sorry for that."

My mouth is dry, as arid as a desert. His eyes are Honest. Always honest. I nod, thinking it through, and I nod again. I don't hate him. I don't, even though I feel I am done.

[and I'm sorry I made it so easy] I reply.

His gaze hardens at this, I can see the hurt brimming. But I'm more hurt, and I'm tired and I'm ready to end it all.

I smile softly, patting his shoulders and I walk past him.

I'm okay.  I'm okay. I rest a hand over my pendant, the one that swings over my heart.

Please be okay.

•|•|•

Well. That's happened. Please leave a comment and vote if you are enjoying the story.
I'll be posting the final chapters of THW on patreon on Saturday and Wednesday next week. As for Wattpad, I'm still on the edge with wether I want to start book 2 here after some plagiarism scares. Anything I decide I'll let you guys know in the announcements on my page. Make sure you're following g me for updates or join my discord. All links are in my bio.

Below is an updates cast! Individual pics are on my discord and after the final chapter have been posted I will also share the pics of Talanda's and Harvests parents. So either join my discord or patreon for those and let me know what you think! 😉

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