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Validation.

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I STARED blankly at the blackboard, at the mathematical problems displayed there, not because I didn't know what was going on, but simply because I couldn't care enough to focus, no matter how much I tried, and believe me...I tried.

It was the one thing I convinced myself, that listening to Mr. Alarlmic teach calculous in his morning class would take me off everything that was weighing on my mind.

But it simply did not do me any justice, and I found my gaze drifting off to the windows, staring down at the crest grounds, and the sword and crown fountain, finding myself thinking back to the portal that had appeared in the heart of it, and the sight of the vampires, its red eyes as it met mine for a moment.

A shiver crossed my spine as I shook out of the memory, watching as a dark figure came into view below, the dark coat indicating who it was, as he moved toward the crown.

My heart beating inside me thinking he would look my way no matter how high up I was, but he didn't, walking or rather storming into the crown and out of sight.

I took a low breath out turning back to the board, staring back at Mr. Alalmaric as he moved on to another problem, and I stared at my work, flipping over to a new page, following his explanations.

I felt hollow inside and non-existent.

The minutes flew by, and the bell rang.

I walked out of the classroom, adjusting my bag straps and my notebook pressed up against my chest, my eyes cast down low, as I just couldn't find a reason to smile, yet, not even after I met David in the middle of the hallway.

We trod down the halls in search of Claire, making small talk.

"All I know is that my life is going to be a living nightmare in a few hours," David commented with a low huff, also seeming downcast.

I had an idea as to why he was saying so, my downcast eyes trailing up to him, signing, 'Roommate?'

He nodded with a low huff, "Roman Algrand." he stated plainly his shoulders falling, "his dilect will probably be activated today." he huffed, "I'm going to have to sleep with my head underneath the blanket in this heat," he grunted and that brought half a smile to my face, in amusement, at least knowing that I wasn't the only one with problems somehow relaxed me.

'Can I sleep in your room tonight?" he begged and that earned a chuckle from me, shaking my head.

"I doubt you would sleep well with Daya a foot away from you," I signed to which he paused, nodding,

'yeah not a chance." he agreed.

I grinned at this, feeling a little lighter just being around him when we paused in the center of the hallway where we usually met Claire. We looked both ways, eyes searching but not able to spot her.

"She's never this late," I signed to David when he glanced at me, to which he nodded,

"Then again, I doubt we would be able to see her, coming even if she was, she's just way too short," he joked, earning a swat on the arm from me to which he chuckled away taking a step back.

"What?" he asked, amusement in his tone, chuckling when I tried to give him a serious look that I only ended up breaking into a smile.

After a few moments of waiting David shrugged,

"She might still be in class, don't they have their colors class in the morning?" he huffed," probably still struggling with the demonstrations," he huffed.

I thought it through for a moment, She probably was.

"C'mon, she'll get to her room sometime, and let's face it, the girl would never miss lunch for anything," he grinned as I chuckled, and we turned walking out of the King's Crown together.

The sun was overhead and the light breeze brought relief from the stuffy feeling of being in class for the first half of the day. 

My eyes trailed in the direction of the King's Courts as we walked back to the scepters, spotting what seemed like a bunch of students in the far-off distance, probably part of the recruit that Miss Amir was talking about earlier.

Sighing, I focused on what David was talking about.

---------------

Claire never made it for lunch, to our surprise.

I was now worried. It was unlikely for her not to show, I mean if she wasn't with us, then where was she?

I sat cross-legged on her bed, her pillow held against her chest, breathing in her scent, worried eyes watching as Lira paced around, her arms folded.

"C-could she be" David paused at this, glancing between Lira and me, from his position on his usual chair, "do you think she could be lost?" he huffed.

Lira turned to him sharply, "You are asking if a girl could get lost using the same route that every student uses, as well as herself for the last month, in a place where the literal route has been dictated for you by use of pavements and of course, the map in the crown, and just plain logic?" she asked, her eyes narrowing on him.

He held her gaze for a moment before shrugging, "yeah," he answered carelessly.

Lira's eyes squinted whilst I looked at him in disbelief only to be taken by surprise by Lira's answer-

"yeah, I wouldn't put it past her," she confessed continuing her pacing around the room.

"Or maybe vampires kidnapped her," David grinned, chuckling a little.

My eyes snapped to him, not at all amused. It was not funny at all, and neither was that guess.

His smile got whipped from his face and he raised his hands in mock surrender, "just saying" he huffed folding his arms.

My eyes narrowed on him. I mean the girl was the most predictable. It was class, to room, room to class for her, except for mealtime.

Where else could she be?

I was getting generally worried for her, standing up bravely to my feet, all eyes turning to me and I glanced between them, before signing, '

we should ask someone, or report it to someone-"

Lira glanced over at David, "what?"

"She's saying we should get help," he grunted getting to his feet too with a slight sigh, "and I have to agree, it's becoming a little worrying now," he added turning to Lira.

Lira pursed her lips for a moment, and I thought she would be stubborn about it, but I was surprised when she agreed,

"Fine," she huffed, "let's see what kind of trouble our little red has gotten herself into," she huffed, immediately walking to her wardrobe, and taking out some shoes, as she was barefoot.

Both David and I exchanged looks.

He raised an eyebrow at me in an 'are you seeing what I'm seeing,' expression and I nodded, my gaze reluctantly trailing back to a cursing Lira who banged her foot accidentally on the side of the wardrobe as she was doing up her large heavy combat boots, firmly tying the laces together with a grunt.

So this is how she looked like when she 'cared' about something.

Not much difference to the usual Lira if you don't know her as well as we did.

It felt weird as well as amusing, especially when she turned,  catching us staring at her,

"what freaks?" she huffed. "Stop standing there like frickin robots, and let's go!" she huffed turning toward the door when David snapped back to reality, moving after her, but before she could open it, the door flew open

It almost cut her in half had she stood only an inch closer, her eyes widening when an excited yet puffy-looking Claire walked in, breathlessly, her eyes whispering in an unknown exhilaration.

My eyebrows furrowed as did the rest as a wide grin overtook her face. She closed the door behind her, turning around and freezing as if expecting us to bombard her with questions, which we gladly complied after a second of stunned silence.

"Where on this little green Island of an earth have you been redy? Talanda was this close to balling her eyes out," Lira commented earning a chuckle from David, and an amused eye roll from me, though she wasn't that far from the truth.

Claire's amused gaze traveled to me and grinned to which I returned a cheeky grin, letting her know that Lira was only exaggerating.

Her knowing eyes confirmed she had probably guessed so, before walking to her bed space, dumping her bag on it,

"I swear it wasn't on purpose," she grinned, the smile on her face refusing to deny that there was something that had happened to her that she wasn't saying yet.

My eyebrows raised at this, and I took a seat back on her bed, cross-legged in the center.

"Tell as already, Geez!" Lira grumbled walking back to her desk and dumping herself in the chair, David shook her head at her attitude but I knew, we both knew it was because she was probably generally irritated that Claire had made us worry like that

It showed that she cared, which deep down, we always knew, but was amusing to see anyway.

She paused, her smile enlarging, but remaining silent until both David and Lira called her name at the same time in irritation before she blurted out the news,

"I was chosen as one of the firewall recruits," she grinned, eyes wide, "by Harvest himself," she paused as if to let it sink in within us, and whilst I knew Miss Amir did say that the originals would be passing by each one of our classes, my heart sank at the news for a reason I couldn't quite describe, my eyes now attentively tied to her.

Daya raised an eyebrow at this, and David also seemed generally surprised-

"I don't mean to sound-" he trailed off not finding the right words but only nodding in its place, "but, weren't they supposed to find the best reds and fire oranges?" he asked.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Claire huffed.

"C'mon Claire, not to say you aren't any good, but you're a class of recruits- I mean generally speaking none of you are good enough to keep up a whole firewall, not this early.  I'm generally surprised they even considered your cycle because I've supervised enough reds to know exactly how the new set cycles behave and just to remind you, you are figuratively speaking, THE virgin reds-" Lira huffed.

At that comment, my eyes narrowed down at her throwing her an unimpressed look but she merely sent a shrug my direction as Claire sighed taking a seat at the edge of her bed,

"If you must know," Claire dragged, pulling her legs up on the bed, so she sat cross-legged beside me, "we did suck, " she huffed, looking as if she was thinking back to what had happened, "Gosh we sucked bad, the best most of us could do was summon a spark," she huffed, "I was the last to try," she explained fiddling with her thumbs.

"Let me guess, you blew them away," Lira smirked.

"Not at first," she huffed, grabbing the pillow that I had disposed of near her, holding it close to her heart much as I had been seconds earlier,

"I was so nervous, all eyes were on me. Mr. Amins, my classmates, Daya's," she huffed to which Lira lowly scoffed, David looking more interested at the topic, "and of course," she paused, "Harvest, gosh those blue deep ocean eyes," she fangirled, falling backward on her bed.

"I think she's having an orgasm-" Lira commented with a low chuckle, my eyes widening as my gaze snapped at her at the comment, to which she only rolled her eyes, "what? It's a natural human reaction," she added with a low chuckle-

"uh- am I legal for this conversation?" David huffed, glancing between Lira and Claire in honest anticipation, looking as if he would much rather jump out of the window than continue this side of the conversation.

Claire ignored him, moving on with her retelling, "Gosh, I couldn't even get a spark out! I was just so-so nervous," she huffed her eyes staring blankly at the ceiling, seemingly lost and my heart did another dive at the look on her face, knowing it well, scratching my itchy wrist for a second.

"How were you chosen then?" came David's curious reply.

She paused at this, eyebrows arching, before getting up slightly, leaning against her elbows, pushing her glasses back up her nose, her legs swinging from the edge of the bed, eyes squinting at nothing in particular as if she was trying to remember something,

"Well, I was nervous," she repeated, a far-off look in her eyes, "and I almost gave up, but then.." she trailed off but this time no one sought to push her, picking up a moment later, " and then, I heard his voice in my head."

I froze at this, gaze stuck on her face, my heart beating within me loudly.

"Whose voice?" Lira asked, seemingly genuinely curious too, her tone low.

"Harvest," Claire replied sitting up straighter, "his voice was in my head, like another consciousness and then I felt, him in my mind, guiding me, helping me," she concluded, her eyes now gleaming in surprise as well as what I could only describe as pride.

My eyes trailed to the floor at the sound of this, a foreign feeling filling me up.

One that manifested into irritation as well as jealousy? I felt ashamed thinking about that. What did I have to be jealous of?

NOTHING, absolutely nothing. My eyes trailed up to her as she continued to explain,

"And then suddenly I could feel it," she explained, wide eyes doused with disbelief traveling around us, "I could feel my dilect as powerful as ever, and then I could create a fire, a big one," she emphasized the size of the flame the most, her eyes slightly bulging, "and then, he told Mr. Amin, that he had chosen me to become a Firewall recruit," she replied, with pride doused in her eyes.

"Wow," David exclaimed, eyes widening in surprise.

"Wow, is the right word, I didn't even know he could do that," Lira huffed, seemingly surprised in her own right.

"Do what?"

"shed his tone in someone else mind, " she replied, seemingly thoughtful, "I mean I guess I always thought his dilect was mysterious, and of course, if he could command your fragile little mind and your body to bend to his will, he definitely, logically can be able to speak to it," she shrugged," but I also never knew he could boost a dilect like that," she replied, "almost like a-" she paused shaking her head, "nevermind," she huffed, before suddenly pausing, eyebrows arching,

Conductor. That's what she wanted to say. I remembered his offer. The easy way or the hard way...

How was Harvest a conductor?

"He does know that you're an illusionist though? I mean if your magic lies in illusions, basic magic or not, it would still stream along with the kind of magic you have."

I thought about this, actually also curious about this. Did he know that Claire's fires though realistic, weren't actual flames?

"Yes," she replied, quicker than expected, "He seemed to be impressed by it," she replied seemingly confused at her sentence, before a deep blush formed across her pale cheeks, sliding the glasses back up her nose-

"He said that he would train me, personally, or whatever that meant."

Lira paused, at this, raising an eyebrow, " y-you mean like protégé?" she asked seemingly excited about this, whilst I felt like I was losing track of how quickly this conversation was going.

A deeper blush formed across her skin,

"I-I wouldn't go as far as that," she nervously chuckled trailing a black strand of her straight hair behind her ear, "he could have meant anything," she replied, her tone low.

"But he said that right? That he would personally train you?" she gushed, "listen to my words, reddy- those exact words?" she huffed getting to her feet, my eyes traveling to her, heart thudding feeling like the world was suddenly spinning on its head with the number of indescribable feelings speeding through my mind at the moment.

"Yeah,- but, C'mon, do originals even take on proteges?" Clair chuckled as if it was the funniest thing ever, taking a glance at David and me.

David shrugged but I remained stoic.

"I don't know about that, but what I do know is that they could, if they wanted to, and I know that Daya has been busting her ass trying to be it, throwing herself all over him," she grinned humorously, "it must be eating her up alive," she gushed,

"I mean she didn't seem all too pleased when he said it, but I don't think he meant something as serious as a protege, or a mentor," Claire added, "I mean, I'm sure he just sees-"

"Your potential and what's to help in your growth?" David huffed, before shrugging, "That's a mentor."

"aha hah!" Lira grunted, high-fiving David who looked at her in amusement whilst both Claire and I looked at them in disbelief however for two different reasons, I supposed.

"I'm a red, he's a yellow," Claire chuckled.

"And yet, he helped you better than your red secondary teacher ever could," Lira sang, folding her arms in a victorious smirk, David nodding along after that to my dismay.

"Guys!" Claire huffed, with a short nervous snort, "Don't be ridiculous! He could choose anyone, and he chose me? from the latest virgin cycle red, with zero control over her dilect?" she replied dancing between the two blues, "I mean think about it? I hate to say this, but Daya seems like a better option in my opinion."

"Screw Daya!" Lira exclaimed startling Claire for a moment, "she's already good, the whole point of being a mentor, is finding someone who needs to be natured, and you, my little redy birdy are yet to grow into those shoes," she huffed glancing down at Claire's feet.

Claire's eyes narrowed at them, "they are only slightly large, I swear," Claire huffed.

"It was figurative!" Lira snapped, rolling her eyes after, "My point is, you're perfect. New enough to mold, and shape," she paused standing in front of Claire, "After all, everyone knows the only reason Daya even wanted that position was just so she could be somewhat divinely connected to both Lucas and Harvest. SO she can be worshipped," she spat, spite in her tone.

"Does everyone know that?" David echoed, seemingly unsure of the sentence.

Lira rolled her eyes, turning back to Claire with a softer expression, "All I'm saying is if indeed he does want to mentor you because I don't think Harvest would help anyone as he did to you if it wasn't for a good reason, then you should take the opportunity with both hands," she huffed.

Claire's eyebrows huffed at this, "of course, I would want to," a small smile appeared across her face, " it's Harvest Adams," she exclaimed bashfully.

"Ewe" David shuddered, "don't ever say his name like that."

Claire shot him a look, "as long as you stop calling Daya's name like your favorite ice cream," she fired back. His eyes narrowed on her but didn't say a word.

Claire sighed, looking back at Lira, "But what about Daya? you said it yourself, I wouldn't want to be a threat to her."

Lira paused at this, "She's a big bully, but she's scared of Harvest, I mean everyone's scared of Harvest," she huffed, "just tell him," she shrugged, "You have something I didn't have."

"A-and you think he would defend me?" Claire huffed as a memory popped into my mind.

How he had taken the blame off of me and a small smile found itself on my face only for a second, nodding slightly though none of them seemed to notice.

"Well, let's think about it, if Daya's been trying all this while and hasn't made any progress, why would you think that is when she normally has the male population in the palm of his hands?"

"He doesn't like her?" Claire asked, though her tone sounded uncertain, "I thought you said, Harvest and Lucas are in some sort of fight over her?"

"What I said was, Lucas Bowne and Harvest Adams have been feuding for as long as I've known them, from the Inter Color Games, Captain position in the Knights at the end of next year, and Daya Lawrence." she huffed, eyes landing on me, "I do not know the specifics of it all, " she shrugged, "and whilst I have my theories, I would like to leave them as such, my own," she emphasized.

"All I can tell is that there is something about her that keeps him from ever agreeing to be her mentor, or skies help us, we would have all been calling 'hail Queen Daya,' from the streets, " she mocked, " so you do have options reddy, and you do know their disadvantages- it's up to you, but Daya can't keep winning," she huffed.

Claire paused at this, "I'll think about it, " she replied quietly.

"Take your time, pop tart,  you have exactly," she paused, checking her watch, "2 seconds."

All our eyebrows furrowed until we heard the familiar ding of the bell echoing down the hallways, telling us lunch was over and afternoon classes were on.

"don't you 'firewall recruits,' have to learn separately?" Lira grinned getting to her feet.

Claire shut her eyes groaning.

My eyes trailed to the floor, before getting to my feet, still feeling numb.

---------------------------------------

After knowing that Claire was going to be a firewall recruit, I suddenly developed a want to become one as well.

The funny thing was I never even liked the idea of staying overnight by the forest edge, fueling some large wall of fire. It sounded exhausting and I didn't think I wanted to feel like I was caging Lucas' into a firey prison even if it was for everyone's good.

But as I trod down the hallways, after Claire and David went their separate ways, that's exactly what I desired. 

I tried hard to figure out why I was suddenly craving to become a fire recruit, something I had not even cared about since I knew what it was.

This thought echoed through my mind even as I entered color class, taking a seat by my usual spot by the window at the back, scratching my wrist taking a glance at the itchy rash underneath that had started turning dark from its bright red.

I think it was healing.

I took a seat staring out the window, contemplating the feeling that plagued my body about being a fire recruit, trying to search for a reason why I was feeling this way.

I ended up concluding that somehow I was sick because that was the only way I could describe the feeling traveling through me, the feeling that did not want to admit, and yet the truth stared at me right in the face.

For some sick reason, I wanted what Claire had from him. Something that I always wanted way before I even meant Harvest.

Validation.

From my Mom, Dad, Gravis, from Zali, and now from Harvest.

I didn't want to be seen as fragile, even if that was all I could manage to be.

Harvest could see the potential in her, despite how nervous she was, he saw her courage and what she could become.

Any and every time he was with me, he always saw me as weak, as fragile. That's why he was so arrogant and prideful. That's why he was always using me, and scaring me, because it was just so easy.

Yes, I concluded that the reason I was feeling like this was because I wanted Harvest to choose me, simply because he believed that I could do it, that I could create a spark or a fire as large as Claire did.

I needed that validation at this point- for some reason I found myself craving it.

I knew it was wrong.

I shouldn't need to be validated by others, I've heard those 'inspirational talks' a thousand times, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to prove myself-

My thoughts were cut short when Miss Almulese walked in, followed by her pet dog that took its usual position by her desk, seated comfortably.

She greeted us warmly as per her usual self, her Jamaican accent heavy on each word, she smiled, as she continued,

"We shall continue with our previous lesson," she began distributing the familiar wands around again, but this time she encouraged us to remain seated.

"Before we try to use de' wands," she began, "I would like to explain one more thing," she began, her eyes trailing around the classroom her long locks neatly tied behind her back, "no one will manage to teleport today, as no one in this class has teleportation as a dilect," she began-

"it is basic magic, however, difficult to do, so do not force yourself, let it flow and breathe. when you feel the magic after you utter the words, 'lunuae-baiedan '  reach out to it, gently, become one with the energy, ask it passage, and picture a place in this classroom to direct your energy to," she emphasized, eyes trailing over each one of us.

When we nodded, she allowed us to get to our feet, but before we could do anything, my eyes snapped up when I spotted a black coat walking in, my heart drumming inside my body as my eyes followed him, barely noticing Daya, who trailed behind him, as he stopped talking to Miss Almuelese.

Miss Almuelse, talked lowly with him, her wise aged eyes nodding at him as if permitting him before he nodded, eyes suddenly turning back to face us, meeting mine in an instant.

I quickly looked away, knowing Daya was only a foot away from his side. I paused at this thought, licking my dry lips, not looking up even as Miss Amir talked.

"I believe that you all know who Harvest is, per request of Miss, Amir, he is here to choose recruits for the firewall," she began, my eyes finally lifting slightly watching as she turned slightly to Harvest who also turned slightly,

"They were just about to use their want conductors, of course since this is their first try, they will not be able to teleport, and I'm quite sure it isn't the power you wish to see," she commented, to which he respectfully nodded. She smiled at him,

"However, I know you have your ways, go ahead and select, whomever you deem worthy. With a little help there are a few strong ones in here," she gleamed, eyes trailing back at us with pride.

"Thank you, Miss Almulese, " Harvest replied. It was the most respect I had seen him give, and I suspected it was because she was a prime.

She gave him the floor, and his eyes once again looked in our direction. I tried to keep my gaze far away from meeting his, my heart drumming through me.

Deep down I suspected he would choose me because let's face it, he always did.

However, I wondered for what reason it would be now.

I could feel his presence move around the room, starting from the farthest desk, by the doorway.

He didn't ask us to create flames as he had for Claire but merely walked around us, studying each one of us by pausing in front of us, his deep ocean eyes seemed to be searching.

Five desks from the first, he found his first prize, also the first student who had managed to get the stone to disappear last colors class.

"Him," he stated, pausing at the boy, who then moved to the front, but was stopped by a firm hand on the shoulder, "teleport," he stated, dark eyes in his.

The boy paused, seemingly scared, for a moment before he suddenly became calm, staring down at the wand in his hand, looking at Miss Almulese who I spotted slightly nodding, before glancing once again at Harvest whose stoic expression never faltered.

Before nodding, and shutting his eyes, the seconds ticked by before he whispered those two magic words,

"lunuae-baiedan," and just like that he disappeared and appeared standing by Daya, my eyes widening at this, knowing Miss Almulese had said we wouldn't be able to do this alone the very first day.

Harvest wasn't surprised by this, moving two desks forward choosing another girl, with short red hair, repeating the same thing despite her obvious nervousness, appeared beside the first boy looking both surprised and excited, gasps echoing around the air, for her descent too. 

2 more boys followed and lastly one last girl before he stopped before me, pausing.

His face was blank but there was a softness and would I dare to say a struggle in them?

As he held my gaze, my breathing was short and my heart pounded dramatically within me, waiting for him to say, 'Her.'

Images from the last time we had been together feeling my head, and my throat dry.

His eyes suddenly strayed, something they never did, falling to the floor, moving away from me in a moment I would only describe as unreal, and quite impossible, and yet, like a dream, he had merely moved on to the next girl,  without a word or explanation.

Just a simple rejection.

"Her," he said to the girl two desks ahead of me, the last of the students. With that, he thanked Miss Almulese, storming away without as much as a glance.

I felt hollow, just a sad empty hollow.

•|•|•

Oh, Okay... Mr. Adams

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