Disclaimer: Um, I am absolutely horrid at writing proper pronouns. So pleasepleaseplease tell me if I messed up. It's something that I'm struggling with quite a bit, SO YEAH PLEASE DONT KILL ME IF I MESS UP KAY BYE

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Point of View: THOMAS, First Person
Timeline: Present Day

I set my laptop off to the side, taking a moment to stretch my legs. I had just finished editing in the music for the next Sanders Sides video and now it was just up to Talyn and Joan to send me their sections.

I winced, as my legs whined in protest at the movement. My living room floor wasn't exactly the most forgiving place to be editing.

"Hey," Joan said from their position on the couch, seeing me sit up painfully from my currently position on the floor. They were wearing "Have you thought about any ideas for the Christmas Sanders Sides Video? I know you said you were thinking like a '12 Days of Christmas' Paraody do you wanna start working on the it now? I know it's early, but I wanna start thinking bout it now," Joan said, adjusting their orange beanie.

I hesitated. The idea of trying to create anything new... with Roman missing... I - I just...

"Joan?" I said, eyes dropping to the floor. "Can... Can I just talk to you for a second?"

At my tone, Joan frowned, closing their own laptop, setting it off to the side. "Yeah, sure. What's up?" they asked, giving me their full attention.

"I... something happened," I muttered, hand self-consciously rubbing the back of my neck. How was I going to explain to them how these... characters... were more than just characters to me?

Joan frowned even further at that. "Hey - you've know me - like - forever. There's nothing for you to worry about," they teased, trying to make me smile.

I shook my head. "This is different," I said quietly, anxiously picking my nails and avoiding eye contact.

Joan took it upon themselves and walked over, sitting next to me. They placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. "You don't have to tell me, Tommy," they started. "But I promise that I'll be here for you - no matter what it is okay?"

I couldn't help it. I quickly wrapped my arms, around them - pressing my face into their shoulder. Surprised, their arms came around me in a sort of delayed reaction but still held me tightly, neither of us breaking the silence.

After solid minute, I finally pulled back, not looking at Joan. I didn't want to see their reaction, not wanting to have it in my mind.

"You know how I got the idea for the Sanders Sides?"

Joan tilted their head at that, thoughtfully. "You used the characters from Vine," he answered finally.

"And do you know how I came up with them then?"

Joan shrugged, not really sure where I was going with this. "I just assumed it was based off things you'd seen or done. Like Roman was an idea you got from 'Into the Woods' or somethin," they answered.

I shook my head. "They were all here," I answered, tapping my temples. "Always. And I never said anything because I didn't want anyone to think I was weird sodidn'tsayanythingbutnowthewholesituationhappenedwithRomanandnowIreallyneedtotalk tosomeoneaboutitcauseI'mterrifiedbutIcan'ttellanyonebecauseIdon'twantthemtothinkthatI'velostmymarbles -"

"Whoa, hang on a second - take a deep breath," Joan instructed, brown eyes widening, trying to process everything I had said.

I stuttered to a stop, following Joan's instructions.

"O.K. - now that you're calmer try explaining that again, nice and slow. I'm your friend, I'm not here to judge you or hurt you. I want to help with whatevers bothering you but I need you to stay calm, alright?" Joan reasoned and I felt myself numbly nodding along.

A deep breath, forcing myself to be calm. "I... I didn't come up with the sides," I said quietly. "And the sides... They're real. I can actually see them, Joan. And for videos I have the both of us take control and that's why I can 'act' as them so well. And recently -" My voice broke off. "And recently, Roman's gone missing."

I finally looked up at Joan, wincing at they took a moment to process what I had just said. "Okay first," they started. "What's worrying you the most?"

"I'm nervous about Roman," I muttered. "I - I don't FEEL any different, but Logan said that it would probably be a slow, gradual change if he didn't doesn't return soon," I couldn't help picking at my nails again. "What if he doesn't? What does that mean for me?"

"Remember - there are things you can control and things you can't. Is Roman's whereabouts something you can change?"

"No," I agreed.

"Then let's not focus on that for right now," Joan reasoned. "What else worries you?"

I couldn't help tilting my head curiously at Joan. "You are... taking this surprisingly well."

Joan rested a hand on my shoulder. "I'm your friend, Thomas. I'm not gonna just abandon you."

I flushed at that. "I mean, I wouldn't blame you. I just admitted to seeing... Mental projections of my personality in my living room."

Joan rolled their eyes at that. "No weirder than the rest of us," they teased. "But seriously Thomas, maybe you should head upstairs and go to sleep early. You're tired, your stressed, and that's not helping anyone. Catch up on some sleep and we'll talk about it more in the morning, okay?"

"O-Okay," I said getting to my feet and Joan shortly followed. "You and Talyn gonna edit for a little while longer?"

"Yeah, I'm guessing you don't mind us crashing here?" Joan asked, eyebrow raised in questioning, but also already expecting the answer.

"Do I ever?" I smiled. "Air mattress and extra blankets are in the closet - you know the drill," I said, waving my hand as I started in my way up the stairs.

"No phone - go to sleep, Sanders," Joan said sternly, pointing a cliché finger at me.

"Okay MoM," I said, unable to hokd back a small dorky laugh. "But seriously - thanks Joan," I finished.

"Oh, is it cool if I talk to Talyn about... This?" they asked and I hesitated.

"Um, yeah it's fine, sure," I said, eyes flickering to the floor. "Night Joan."

"Night Tommy."

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Despite how tired I was I somehow couldn't fall asleep. Somewhere around two am I finally gave up, making my way downstairs to get something to eat.

Maybe a light snack would help me out...

I didn't even get half way down the stairs before I heard Joan and Talyn talking, whispering actually. I listened closely, realizing they were talking about me - a smile beginning to make its way across my face before I realized why.

"I don't know, Talyn," Joan was saying. "I think playing all those roles are starting to take a toll on Thomas. I think the stress of all these project is making him start to... Lose his mind."

"Joan, this is Thomas," Talyn argued. "He'll be back to normal once he gets some sleep and treats himself like a human being rather than a machine."

"This is different," Joan said. "He really believed that he was seeing the sides. And he seemed really worried about Roman going missing. I don't know if it's stress anymore, Tal. Maybe he's actually losing it. I'm really worried about him. I want to help him, but I don't know how or where to even begin."

"I think we all need some sleep," Talyn coaxed gently. "We'll talk in the morning and take it from there okay?"

The both of them settled into silence and I made my way back up the stairs, tears burning my eyes.

Joan didn't believe me.

My best friend didn't believe me.

They thought I was going crazy.

...

Maybe they were right.

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HI
I HAVE NO IDEA IF THIS IS ANY GOOD AT ALL. I HAVE A HEADACHE. BUT I WANTED TO POST A CHAPTER TODAY SO I POSTED A CHAPTER GOSH DARNIT XD

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I really hope this chapter made sense ooF

- Max