DEDICATED TO NABLAI

Just before 1.15 pm there was a ring on Alan's door bell. On opening the door, he found Kathy standing there.

"I'm worried about Clare. Have you seen her? I tried ringing, but there was no answer and when I called at her apartment there was no reply."

"I saw her about 12 noon." said Alan. "She did seem a bit stressed out, but we've both been stressed lately. Perhaps she's gone running in the park?"

"Something's wrong. Her car's in the car park and as she's had such a terrible cold, she wouldn't be out running."

"I just remembered." said Alan. "I have her spare key." He went to his hallway cupboard and produced the key.

"I've got a bad feeling about this." said Kathy as they walked up to Clare's front door. Alan opened the door and Kathy entered first.

"Clare, are you there?" she called. Alan followed and together they searched the apartment. As Alan looked in the bedrooms, Kathy called out,

"Quick, call an ambulance. She's collapsed in the bathroom."

Alan's heart flew to his mouth and he felt light headed. The sight of Clare lying on the bathroom floor filled him with dread. Her face was deathly pale and her eyes like two dark rings.  Kathy, who knew First Aid found a weak pulse, so they knew Clare was alive, but she wouldn't respond. They knelt by her side, Alan rubbing her hands gently.

"What do you think it is?" he asked.

"I don't know." Kathy replied. "She's very hot, I think she's got a fever and her breathing is very shallow. I wish that ambulance would hurry up!"

Alan found a flannel, wet it with cold water and pressed it against her forehead. Kathy put Clare into the recovery position and they waited patiently for the ambulance to arrive.

Alan travelled with Clare in the ambulance and Kathy followed by car.  In the ambulance, Alan sat holding Clare's hand. He talked to her gently, trying to get her to answer him. They had almost reached the hospital, when she opened her eyes and looked up at him.

"Don't leave me. Don't go." she whispered.

Alan replied "I'll never leave you Clare, never."

Almost immediately, as the ambulance drew up outside of Frenchay hospital, she started to convulse. Alan was terrified. He stood back as the paramedics worked on her and then they rushed her out of the ambulance and onto a waiting trolley. He had to run to keep up as they wheeled her to the Casualty Department. He was made to wait outside.

Kathy arrived, shortly afterwards and they waited, side by side on chairs in the corridor.

"She spoke to me in the ambulance." he said.

Kathy looked at him. "What did she say?"

"She said 'Don't leave me, don't go.' So I'm going to stay here day and night until she's well again."

They had been waiting for some time when a young female doctor came up to speak to them. "Don't be alarmed, but we're taking her to the intensive care unit to monitor her more closely. It appears to be a virus of some sort. She has congestion of the lungs and is finding it hard to breathe so she's been sedated whilst we sort that out. The next few hours are critical. She's very ill, but we're doing all we can.  She's young, so let's hope for the best."

Alan could stand it no longer, he had to get out of this corridor, out of this hospital. It was all pushing down on him, heavily.  "I'll get us some coffees, Kathy. I won't be long."  Before she could reply, he was off. He pushed through the door and hurried down another long corridor, another and another, until he was far away from Casualty.

He noticed he had arrived at the hospital Chapel. A chair was placed near the door and he plonked himself down on it, leaning forwards resting his face in his hands. Suddenly, a hand patted him on the back and he heard a soft voice saying "You're here, at last." As he was crying into his fingers he didn't lift his head or reply, but when he did look up, several seconds later, there was no one there. He stood up, looking far into the distance. There was not a soul in sight.

He opened the Chapel door and went inside. A beautiful blue/green stained glass window met his eyes. To the right was an altar, covered with a green cloth, on which was a small silver cross. There were four rows of chairs in front. He sat down.  For several minutes, he sat deep breathing and gradually felt more peaceful. There was a red bible tucked into a pocket in the chair in front. Picking it up, he flipped it open randomly. The words leapt up and burned into his brain, as if God was speaking, just to him:-

"Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say 'I find no pleasure in them.'"

Alan was stunned. He hadn't taken God seriously and now God was speaking to him.

A man came into the Chapel. It was the chaplain.  "Hello. Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

"Were you outside just now?" asked Alan, thinking it was the chaplain who had spoken to him.

"No, I've only just arrived. I'm running late, but I've time for a quick prayer if you wish?"

So they prayed together. Alan said nothing, but bowed his head and the Chaplain said a simple, heartfelt prayer for Clare and when he left the room, Alan felt more positive.  He was just about to get up and leave when another man came into the room. This time it was a harassed looking younger guy, of his own age. He spoke to Alan as he sat down on an opposite chair.

"I don't know what to say."

"He's not interested in words." said Alan. "You just say what's on your heart, He'll understand."

"Thank you." The guy replied. There was a pause then he started to speak again.

"They're taking my wife to the Hospice shortly. We've got three children. Little 'un is only five months old."

Alan's heart did a backwards somersault.

"Oh mate, I'm so sorry. I wish you all the best."

Alan stood up, the other man stood too.

"If you need any free financial advice, call Dixon and Halfpenny in Bridgnorth Street. My name's Alan Harding."

"Stephen Miller. Thanks. I'm self employed so perhaps......I might......"

Stephen was too overcome to say more and he flopped down on a chair, resting his arms and head against the chair in front. Alan rooted in his pocket and found a business card which he placed in Stephen's hand and then he left the Chapel, with his emotions in turmoil.

Alan was lost now, but after asking several people made his way back to Kathy having found a coffee machine on the way. He sat down and handed her a cup.

"Thanks Alan, I needed that."

Alan sipped his drink.

"They've taken her to the ICU Alan, I was waiting for you to come back. We can go there together. What a day!"

Seeing Clare in the intensive care unit was quite a shock for Kathy and Alan. Tubes were entering in and out of various parts of her body and a big tube was in her mouth, helping her to breathe. They were told to talk to her telling her every day occurrences or read to her from books or magazines. It would help with her recovery.

Clare was in the intensive care unit for five days, making a little progress each day. Alan was true to his word and he didn't leave the hospital, day or night. He spent his time between the chapel and Clare's bedside and became friendly with the Chaplain and the ICU staff.

Angie, Catherine and Jessica came all together, to give their support. The staff placed a small wooden 'holding' cross under Clare's pillow, at Angie's request.

On day six, everyone sighed with relief as Clare was removed to a private room, arranged by Alan. Kathy, Frank and Alan were in her room now, waiting for her to regain consciousness. She'd been sedated for five days and they were all feeling anxious. Alan was sitting close to her, holding her hand. Her face looked like the face of an angel, he thought, her dark hair against the white pillow. She looked peaceful and a lot better than yesterday.

After waiting for an hour, Kathy and Frank left to get something to eat,

but Alan remained. He suddenly felt stiff and rose from the chair. He stretched his arms above his head and walked to the window.

"Alan."

Her weak voice called him and he moved quickly back to the bed. Her eyes were open and she held her hand out to him on the blue bedspread.

"Please don't go. Don't leave me."

He took her hand. "Darling, I don't want to leave you. I love you."

Clare smiled at him and then closed her eyes again.  She slept for another four hours and then she awoke properly.