Chapter 27 - Second Hand Heart

I can't remember a thing from last night.

I'm lying alone on the cold bathroom floor, and as I get up, I realise that this isn't my house. I then spot a framed picture of Dean and Renee on the wall, which solves the mystery of where I am.
I remember being at a party here, but I can't remember anything that happened. Why did I end up in the bathroom?

After I wash my face and rinse out my mouth, I stumble out of the bathroom and onto the landing, where everything is surprisingly silent. There are a few soda bottles and paper plates on the floor. I walk into the bedroom opposite to find Naomi and her husband Jimmy lying flat out on the bed. They are also joined by Becky Lynch, who is snoring loudly on the floor. Poor, innocent Becky.
I check the clock - it's 6:50am. No wonder everyone is asleep.

As I head downstairs, I feel my stomach start to rumble. There are a few more bodies on the stairs, one of whom I recognise as Lana. As I notice she's drooling on the carpet I grab a paper towel from the kitchen and clean her up - that's when I realise the strange red marks on her neck and shoulders. Whilst it's clear that she's been getting some action, what worries me is that Rusev is nowhere to be found. In fact, something in my head tells me I never saw him at the party last night.

A few more people are asleep in the living room, but I can't find any of my friends. I can't even find Dean and Renee. There's a pizza box opened on the table with three margarita slices left in it - I heat one up in the microwave and eat it.

As I do so, I hear someone crying faintly in the distance. After looking around, I realise that it's coming from the utility room behind me, so I open the door.

"Bayley?"

My crying friend is sitting on top of the washing machine with her head in her hands. Her hair is strewn all over the place, and when she finally looks up at me I notice that her eyes are red.

"Oh, Bayley."

As she continues to sob, I don't really know what to say.

"Tell me what happened last night," I say, cautiously approaching her and putting a hand on her back.

And so she tells me. Tells me how Aaron turned up at the party and is reeling her in again, telling her how good they are together and reminding her that she's nothing without him. How Nia's trying to kill Charlotte and Charlotte will kill me the first opportunity she gets because she thinks I'm to blame for Nikki Bella bullying her. And apparently...

"Everyone knows about Aaron cheating on me as well now. Thanks to Alicia Fox."

"Alicia Fox? How did she even find out?"

"I don't know," Bayley sobs, shaking her head. "It was so embarrassing to have people come up to me and ask what was going on, giving me relationship advice. And now I'm gonna look like an idiot when I'm back with him again, but..."

"Wait, what? You're not with..."

"Sasha, I can't help it. He's...right. I can't lose what we had over some stupid fling he had. I'm sure I could have made the same mistake. Plus, he said he was sorry-"

"He's not sorry!" I cry, almost a little too loudly. "Look, you've been having trouble with him for ages. You can't run back to him again. You've got to be stronger, better than that."

Bayley looks up at me. "So I take it you've left Mikaze for good?"

I'm stunned. For the first time, I start to see that I've been a bit hypocritical. How can I tell Bayley to forget about Aaron when I'm so confused about Mikaze?

Then Bayley says something I never expect.

"You..." she begins, leaning closer to me as her voice turns to a whisper. "Don't know what you did last night, do you?"

As I shake my head, I feel my stomach churn in anticipation. I can't remember a thing. I cross my toes and begin to pray that it's nothing stupid.

"Go on, Bayley."

"Well, as I was done talking to Aaron, I came to look for you. I spotted your pink hair on the dancefloor, but as I came closer, I saw that..."

"What? What did you see?"

"...you were kissing him."

I start to feel sick. "Kissing who?" I gulp.

"Seth."

Of course it was Seth. It's always Seth.

For some reason, my heart starts to race and I feel my cheeks getting red hot. I must have been really drunk last night.

Then it hits me that if Bayley saw me kissing Seth, how many more people did?

"Oh my god," I think out loud. "Oh. My. God."

I run out of the room and straight through the front door. I need some fresh air.

Why do I keep doing this? Why can I not control myself? And why is Seth always there at my weakest times, ready to pick me up and sweep me off my feet when nobody else is?

Why him?

Without thinking, I walk past all the houses and into the forest behind the road. I stop when I reach a bridge which overlooks a passing stream, surrounded by trees and nature, and for a minute I forget that this is Vegas. As I lean over the wooden fence and stare into the water, I see my messy reflection scowl back at me, confused, angry.

I have to blame the drink. It was the drink, obviously. Right?

"Sasha?"

I turn around. It's Seth, standing at the foot of the bridge with tired red eyes and dishevelled hair.

"What do you want, huh?" I snap out of nowhere, starting to become angry with myself for letting the situation get this far.

Seth doesn't flinch. "What are you doing here, Sasha?"

"I don't even know," I reply bitterly but honestly. "I don't know why I woke up on a bathroom floor. I don't know why everyone is asleep and upset. I don't know why, we...we-"

"Kissed?" Seth fills in, leaning against the fence. "So you do know what happened last night."

"Yeah, and so does Bayley! In fact, loads of people could have seen us," I groan, turning away from him.

Then I start to get very sad and my voice turns to a whisper. "Why did you let me do it?"

"Why did you let me kiss you?"

Seth shakes his head. "I mean, I...I dunno, I thought you wanted to."

"And why would I want to?" I scowl.

"Why would I want to kiss you when I have a husband, and have a life?" I ask, holding up the ring on my finger. "Why would I want to-"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it!" snaps Seth, sounding angry for the first time ever, making me jump back. "I get that you're married, happy and whatever."

Then he pauses, composing himself. "Look, I may be stupid but I thought that perhaps I could open your eyes. Can't you see what's going on between us? Can't you see what makes you happy?"

I instinctively shake my head. I know exactly what he's talking about, but I don't want to admit it. I don't want to admit to enjoying all of our late night walks and talks. I don't want to admit to the times where he gives me butterflies and waves of emotions that I simply can't control. I don't want to admit that whilst he's confident and good looking, he's the only person right now that seems to care about me. I don't want to admit to all these urges I have to just fling my arms around him and kiss him.

"No," I whisper, feeling my eyes start to burn because I know I'm lying. I've only just realised how I feel and it's too late anyway. "I don't like you."

He scoffs, walking up to me and holding a finger to my lips. "You're a terrible liar, you know that?"

Then he takes one step closer and latches his eyes onto mine, his gaze suddenly turning serious. His hold on me is so strong that I couldn't look away if I tried.

"I get that you can live without me, Sasha, but...

...I don't think I can live without you."

And with this, every last bitter emotion in me fades away. All the hurt, anger and confusion is replaced with a rush of butterflies from my head to my toes as his words echo around me a billion times.

Our faces are centimetres apart. I don't know what to say to him, but for some reason, it feels like I've been here before. I close my eyes as my heart starts to face faster than ever. It takes me a minute to realise the true meaning of what he just said.

"So," I whisper, my eyes still closed, calming down and letting my heart say whatever it wants to. "Is this you saying you love me?"

As I wait for his reply, I feel a gentle breeze brush over the two of us, but apart from that it's like time has stopped.

"Yes."

I can feel him smile.

"This is me saying I love you."

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