When I got back to the cabin, AJ had actually stopped crying, which was kind of a shock. I thought she was never going to stop... Was that how it felt being heartbroken? I didn't really know what heartbreak was, even though I had only experienced a little when it had come to Dallas. But I was only fourteen back then, so I couldn't have really been in love with him... I just thought I was.

I was really expecting to see that AJ was still crying. Truthfully, I was kind of hoping that she still would be so I wouldn't have been the only one. I had just gotten so used to her tear-streaked face that I almost forgot what she actually looked like...

"Jordan!" Lexi cried when she saw that I was now the one with tears in my eyes and a red face that made it look like I had been slapped fifty thousand times. Yeah, I was sure that that was definitely attractive. "What happen? Did something happen with Dallas?"

Except for the fact that he totally ditched me when I needed him the most, Dallas hadn't done anything at all. Part of me wished that we had gotten into a fight or something if it meant that my grandmother would still be alive. But I knew that that was impossible and could never happen. Dallas had left me before I broke down, not even realizing that I needed his help...

"No," I excused, shaking my head and wiping a tear from my eye. It was the truth, even though it definitely didn't seem like it would be a lie. "I just got a call from my mom... My grandma passed away this morning."

All the girls in the cabin's faces softened. All I did was plop down on my bed and onto my stomach, not in the mood for any interaction right then. After what happened with Jesse... That was enough interaction for the day. Maybe the whole week... Or the month.

I felt so strange after what had happened with Jesse. Now when I thought of him, I didn't cringe in disgust. And I didn't understand it. He was there for me when I needed him, and I owed him for that. I owed him for being a friend and not making fun of me at my most vulnerable time.

He had comforted me, and yet Dallas didn't. Dallas was the closest thing I had to a boyfriend, but he left me. Jesse was my enemy, but he sat out on the dock and let me cry into his chest for two hours while he rocked me back and forth. Jesse was there. Dallas wasn't.

"I'm sorry, Jordan," Lexi apologized, even though she didn't even have to. She sat down next to me, rubbing my shoulder softly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," I answered into my pillow miserably. "I just want to lie here and wait until I slowly decompose."

"Is she always like this when she's upset?" Molly asked, crinkling her nose at my decomposing comment. "Because that's kind of gross... and depressing."

"Her grandma was the closest person to her, Molly," Chelsea sighed, coming over and sitting down next to Lexi and patting the back of my leg. "Jordan, don't be too sad. Your grandma's in a better place now."

And that only caused me to start wailing once again. I didn't want to be reminded of her; I just wanted to sleep until it all felt like a dream. But right then, it did feel like a dream. But it seemed more like a nightmare that I could never get out of.

I knew that my grandma was in a better place. At least, that's what I believed. I was sure my grandma was in heaven with my grandpa, happier now. She hadn't ever really been the same since he had died. But now she was with him again...

But that didn't make me feel any better. I wanted her here with me.

I wasn't about to tell my friends about Jesse comforting me. I was sure that they would no longer be sympathetic if they knew I was comforted by the enemy. But he was the only one there when I needed someone the most... Not Dallas.

I hated thinking of that. I hating thinking about how Jesse was there for me and Dallas wasn't. Dallas was the closest thing I had to a boyfriend, and Jesse was just a menace... So why did he comfort me? Why was he the one to calm me down and hold me?

I knew one thing for sure. Jesse and my relationship was going to be different. He had seen me when I was most vulnerable, I had spilled to him that I didn't know if I'd ever marry him or not, and he held me for the longest time. It was almost unbelievable.

I didn't want to believe it. I wanted all of this to be some kind of nightmare, and I'd wake up to see my grandmother smiling at me and Jesse glaring at me, like it should have been. But my grandmother was no longer on this earth, and I didn't know how Jesse was going to look at me.

After I started to feel better, maybe Jesse would just make fun of me for everything that had happened. Maybe he'd call me a baby and say I needed to grow up. But I couldn't have been sure... I was wondering if that was what I hoped would happen. I didn't want Jesse and my relationship to change.

I wanted to be his enemy. Nothing more. But as I continued to lie almost lifelessly in my bed, I couldn't help but think of him differently. He always seemed to be there when I needed him the most. I didn't understand how, but he was always there...

Except for the time with Hunter back in California. But how could he be there for me when he was all the way across the country, probably sleeping? Nothing had even happened, it was just a warning... Nothing to be too scared about, I was sure.

More like I hoped.

I didn't want to think about how Jesse and my relationship could have been any different than one it once had been. I wanted everything to be the same between us; I wanted us to hate each other, just like we always had. Not like, not love... nothing but hate.

Hate, hate, hate.

That's all.

But something was telling me things were definitely going to be different. I didn't know how, and I honestly didn't even want to know.

Because knowing made things complicated. And I didn't like when things were complicated. Jesse had already made things complicated enough for me, what with Hunter and the gang and everything, I really didn't want to deal with knowing anything anymore.

I've always known so much in my life. I was the smartest girl in school, maybe even the smartest girl back in our town in California, but I couldn't have been sure. I always thought knowledge was the best thing you could have. But honestly, I would have done anything to still be left in the dark.

My friends left me alone for the rest of the day, because they knew that I didn't want to be bothered. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and never ever emerge from the endless pits that I called my covers. I buried deep under the gentle sheets and layered blankets and tucked my legs tight up to my chest, trying to become smaller and smaller, just keep shrinking until I disappeared and this nightmare was done. The billowy covers surrounded me, caressed me so perfectly that I just might just doze off...

For a precious, fleeting instant before I drifted into sleep, my life stopped. It wasn't hectic. Nor sad. Nor complicated. Just calm. Under the safety of the blanket, I ignored all the bad that had happened to me. Everything with Hunter, everything with Jesse, and everything with my grandma. I only needed time to rest. My only needs were to be warm and cozy, to forget everything that had happened, even if it was only for a moment.

I was temporarily, but blissfully unaware of everything else for what felt like such a short time. Sleep arrived, and I accepted its presence peacefully and, for the first time in a while, I felt almost happy.

Because, right then, as I was sleeping, it was all just a dream. And that's all I wanted it to be.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Do you want to go to my grandma's funeral?"

The question even shocked me when it exited my mouth. Did I just ask him what I thought I just asked him? Why the heck did I just do that? Why would I ask him to go to my grandmother's funeral?

My mother told me I could only bring one friend to the funeral, and I was perfectly fine with that. I didn't want anyone seeing me be a crying mess, but then I definitely didn't want to be alone.

Out of all the people that I could have chosen, the one that I actually did choose surprised me the most. I wasn't even thinking when I had asked him that question. It had just completely slipped out, as if I had been waiting to ask him all day.

And, truthfully, I kind of was.

"You're asking me?" Jesse asked, an eyebrow raised. "Wouldn't you want to ask one of your friends?"

"You helped me when I needed it the most," I babbled. "Dallas wasn't there for me when I needed him, but you were. You... you always seem to be there when I need you, Jesse. My grandma always wanted to formally meet you. Now she can... kind of. So... will you go?"

"Sure, Emery," Jesse smiled softly, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "Sure."

And that's what brought me to where I was right then, standing in front of the church back in California, not wanting to go anywhere near it. I didn't want to go inside and see that my grandmother was in a casket. I didn't want to have to imagine what it would have been like to bury her. I didn't want to go inside.

"It's strange being here, isn't it?" Jesse asked, coming up beside me and looking up at the church along with me. "This is the one place that I'd always avoid back when we lived here."

"Why would you avoid it?" I asked, turning my head to look at him in confusion. "Do you not believe in God or something?"

Jesse shook his head, shoving his hands into his dress pants pockets. He looked upset, but I wasn't about to interrupt him, because I knew he was going to tell me something about his past.

"I definitely believe in God. Or, at least, I used to... Back when I was little, my dad would force me to go every Sunday. I wouldn't ever admit it to anyone else, but I really did like to go. But after what had happened with Hunter, and a few other things..." he started, but then stopped to give me a look I couldn't understand as he said the last bit. "All I seemed to do was pray. I prayed so much... but nothing ever changed. And here we are now, both on the run from a psychopath."

"Thanks for reminding me," I grumbled, crossing my arms over my stomach. "That sure made me feel a whole lot better..."

Jesse smiled sadly. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it," I murmured, grabbing onto his coat sleeve and leading him toward the church. I wanted my grandmother to meet Jesse, and this was the only way she really could anymore. The only way she'd be able to see him now is if he went to her funeral.

"Oh, Jordan!" I heard someone cry before arms were being thrown around my neck. I took a step back, surprised by the force of the hug. It took me a few moments to realize that it was my mother that was hugging me. "Jordan, honey, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Mom," I excused, trying my best to push her away. "I'm fine."

When she finally pulled away from me, her eyes were red and puffy. I couldn't help but frown as I continued to stare at her eyes. My mother was usually so beautiful and happy, but now she looked so depressed... It was upsetting. And all I wanted to do was cry.

"Who's this?" my mother asked, turning toward Jesse now. "Is this the friend you brought?"

I guess she could have said that. Were Jesse and I friends now? I was sure we'd always be enemies, but friends...? It was weird to think that Jesse Jacobsen could ever really be my friend.

"Yeah," I answered simply. "This is Jesse. You remember him, don't you?"

"Oh, yes!" my mother tried to smile as she held out her hand to him, but it was such a weak smile that it made me frown even more. "Of course I remember the boy who drove Jordan crazy for almost four years."

Jesse took my mother's hand in his and shook it, both of them laughing. "It's nice to see you again, Mrs. Emery."

It was so weird hearing him address my mother that way. He had always called me by my last name, so it almost felt like he was talking to me.

My mother scampered off when someone called her name, and I couldn't help but wonder where my father was. Probably speaking with sad family members, trying his best to cheer them up. That was always what my father did when sad situations happened. He tried to make everyone happy.

My frown grew even more when I saw the casket in the front of the church. People were starting to take their seats, but I was starting to get sick to my stomach. I didn't want to see her like this... I couldn't see her cold, lifeless body lying there all alone--

Wait. Why wasn't her casket open? She was always saying that she wanted her casket open... Why wouldn't they open her casket like she wanted them to? She only died because of old age...

When the service started to begin, Jesse and I took seats in the middle of the church, right at the end of the pews. Jesse was at the very end, and I was sitting next to him. I recognized the women sitting beside me as my grandmother's bingo friends, and I had to turn away from them before I started crying.

I knew that I was going to cry, but I didn't want to cry yet. Not until the priest spoke...

"We are gathered here to say farewell to Elaine Peterson, who has gone to the hands of God," the priest began from the front, causing me to unconsciously reach over and grab Jesse's hand. I was squeezing his hand so tightly, but he wasn't pulling away.

The priest continued, and all I really wanted to do was just zone everything out and pretend that my grandmother was still alive. But one thing still bothered me. Why didn't they open her casket?

"We will catch the man that has ended her life," the priest now said, causing me to freeze and for my eyes to widen. My grandmother didn't die of old age... she died of murder? "All we know so far is from a witness. She saw a man with two different colored eyes, one blue and one green, running from her house covered in blood the morning of the attack. I assure that we will find this man and bring him to justice..."

But I wasn't listening anymore, and it seemed like Jesse wasn't either. The little hamster in my brain was now running, spinning the wheel and causing me to think of everything that could possibly have happened. My grandmother was murdered... There was blood involved...

Grandma...

Jesse was tense as he sat next to me, probably even tenser than me. The tears in my eyes now started to overflow as I abruptly stood up without even meaning to, interrupting the service. I didn't care who was looking at me as I almost climbed over Jesse and made my way toward the exit and back toward the front room.

I heard someone get up from behind me, but I didn't even turn to look. I needed to get out of there, and I needed to get out of there now. It was all my fault... It was all my fault...

Just as the giant wooden doors shut behind the person that was behind me, a hand was on my arm. I wasn't even out of the church yet! I had to get out of there... Just because I wasn't in the room where the casket was didn't mean that it would make me feel better. I had to get out of the whole place before I broke down!

"Let go of me, Jesse," I choked as I tried my best to rip my arm away from his grasp. "I need to get out of here... I can't go in there and face what I know is my fault--"

I couldn't continue speaking, however, when my face met his chest. I fought for only a second, but then relaxed and sobbed into his chest, just like I had done when I learned that my grandmother had passed away. But this time it was worse. Back then, I didn't know that it was my fault...

"It's all my fault," I accused. "It's all my fault she's dead! If I didn't go and visit her, she would still be alive! It's all my fault, Jesse, it's all my fault!"

"No it's not," he told me, soothing the hair on the back of my head as his arms continued to stay wrapped around me tightly. "This isn't your fault, Jordan. It isn't. Don't blame yourself for something that Hunter did. I'm so sorry, Jordan, for bringing you into everything with Hunter... If it wasn't for me, your grandma would still be alive right now. I'm so sorry..."

No, he wasn't right. Just because he was the one that introduced me to Hunter didn't mean that it was his fault that my grandmother was killed. It was my fault for visiting her...

"Jesse," I sobbed, wrapping my arms around his neck and squeezing him tightly. For the first time ever, I never wanted to let him go. "Don't blame yourself, okay? It wasn't your fault... I just can't believe that Hunter would do something so horrible to an old woman!"

Jesse pulled away from me just enough so he could look at me. "He's evil," he informed me. "He won't stop until he gets what he wants."

I knew that already. Hunter had told me that himself. But now, I knew that he was being serious. He had murdered my grandmother...

"We have to tell the police," I cried out, trying to escape from Jesse's arms. "We can catch him! We can stop him from whatever he wants, Jesse! We can get him thrown into jail!"

"It isn't that easy," he told me with a shake of his head. "Hunter's been in jail before. Loads of times. For murder charges, rape charges, robbery..."

"Then why is he out?" I gaped, absolutely mortified now. More murders? Rape? No wonder he was the gang leader... He wasn't afraid of anything. He was ruthless and coldblooded, and he didn't care about anything or anyone but himself.

"Remember how I told you he had people under him willing to do anything for him?" Jesse reminded me, a frown plastered onto his face. I only nodded, waiting for him to continue on. "Yeah, they really are willing to do anything for him. They'd go and confess to doing the crime that he was convicted for, and Hunter was off scotch free, and then the people who got him thrown in jail..."

"What?" I asked, my eyes widening. "What happens to them?"

"They die," Jesse whispered. "Hunter kills them."

"So he's basically untouchable?" I demanded, trying my best to remove myself from Jesse's arms. I couldn't believe that he had once been... friends with a monster like Hunter. How could anyone be friends with someone like him? Had Jesse been one of those people that were willing to do anything for him?

"Yes," he answered, clutching onto me even tighter as he pressed me against his chest. I didn't try to pull away from him, because I honestly didn't want to. I wanted Jesse Jacobsen to hold me tight and never let go. I wanted him to keep me safe forever. "I'm so sorry, Jordan... I'm so sorry. If I could, I'd go back in time and erase the first time you even met me..."

"No!" I cried out without even meaning to. What was I saying? That had been my wish ever since I had met him, but now... now I didn't want to forget him. I wanted to be with him now. "I... I mean... you're a good source of entertainment... Why would I want to get rid of you?"

I pulled away slightly to look up at him now. He was smiling slightly when he said, "And why would I want to get rid of you?"

His deep green eyes stared down at me after he had said this, an expression I couldn't make out evident on his face. We just continue to stare at each other, our gazes completely locked, and all I wanted to do was stretch up onto my toes and kiss him hard.

I'm not even going to deny it, because I knew that there was no use in doing so. I wanted to kiss Jesse Jacobsen. I really, really did. I wanted him to wrap me in his arms and kiss me like there was no tomorrow. I wanted to kiss him, I really did.

But all I did was wrap my arms around his neck once again, pressing my face into his neck. I felt safe in his arms, nothing like I had felt when Dallas held me. This feeling was just so different. So different that I didn't even know what it was.

I had never realized how good he smelled... but I realized that I hadn't noticed a lot of things about Jesse Jacobsen before. Things that I definitely should have realized, but was too stupid to.

Like how he was sweet when he didn't have to be, and how funny he really was when he was making fun of me. He was just messing around, right? It wasn't like he was really serious... I had just been blinded by such hatred that I didn't even see the obvious things.

But this new feeling I had for Jesse definitely wasn't hatred. But it was different from what I felt for Dallas. And I realized that I had been having this feeling ever since the night Jesse had pretended to be high. Jesse and I had had so much fun together, but I couldn't really remember a time when Dallas and I had fun. The only thing I could remember was when he had ditched me at his prom. Could people really change?

But right then I never wanted to kiss Dallas again. The only person I wanted to kiss was Jesse.

He was always there when I needed him, but I was always annoyed and upset whenever he was around. Even after all the pranks he had played on me, I still wanted to kiss him. I just wanted to run my hands through his brown hair and kiss him hard. I wanted him to pull me so close that there was absolutely no space between us, as if we had become one.

Maybe having a crush on my enemy wouldn't be so bad. And who knew... maybe, just maybe, it would turn out to be so much more.

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