Simon raised his eyebrow, looking between Louis and I. “What do you think?”

What do I think? Is he really asking me that right now? What does he think I’m thinking? “Honestly, Simon? I think this is a stupid idea and we can’t act well enough to pull it off. I would never date my best friend, I’m perfectly straight thank you very much, and why is it only us that has to go through this? We’d be suffering and the other boys would get to continue their normal lives and see whoever they want to see.” I was fuming.

Turning to look at Louis, I saw that his shoulders were a bit slumped and his face had fallen even more. What could possibly have worsened his mood other than Simon’s announcement?

“Harry… are you saying you don’t like me?” Tears welled up in his eyes. Wait a second, he thought that since I didn’t want to date him it meant…

“No, Louis, it wasn’t meant to insult you, I’m just not gay and I’m not interested in dating any boy. I love you Boo,” I saw, leaning over to hug him tightly.

“In answer to your question of why we chose you,” Simon starts, “there’s your answer. You two already act the most like a couple, and the fans love you together. You are the best option we have. And you don’t have to act that much, since you’re already so couple-like toward each other. Just, you know, ramp up the romance side a bit, like holding hands and cuddling in interviews and flirting and such.”

So I have to not only announce to the world that I am gay and dating my best friend, but I have to actually act like we’re in a loving relationship? This is sounding worse by the minute.

“What about our real relationship? As best mates? Did you ever think of what could happen to us as our real selves by doing this? What if it gets awkward and we can’t be so close anymore, then what?” Louis spoke, seemingly reading my mind.

“Don’t worry about that, we’ll see what to do if it happens. For now, just keep the plan in your mind and think about how you’re going to announce your relationship tomorrow. Please don’t back out on it, we will just keep sending you to interviews until you do what we want. I’m sorry it has to be like this, boys, but the publicity is good for you.” I’ve decided that I will no longer consider Simon to be my uncle. How could he do this to Louis and me? Toy with our emotions and our bond?

I’m generally up for a good prank or scandal, but this was different. When you mess with someone I’m close to, it’s a different story. And I was positive that fake-loving Louis was going to ruin our strong connection. If there was one thing I never wanted to lose, it would be him, and I could already feel the pain setting in just thinking about it.

Liam cleared his throat. “I think I’ll be taking them home now. I can’t believe you would do this to them, Simon. We trusted you, we really did, but you’ve ruined that for all of us now. The only reason we will agree is that we owe you for helping us get to where we are today. Goodbye, Simon and the rest of management. We’ll be seeing you tomorrow, I assume.” Wow, Liam must’ve been really upset but not showing it in his expression. I’ve never heard him angry before, or say anything against Simon or our management. My heart swelled as he stood up for Louis and I.

Standing up, we filed out of the meeting room, took the elevator down, and walked silently out to the van. I was sure I looked a mess, with my curls going all directions due to me running my hands through them and tear tracks on my cheeks. The rest of the boys weren’t much better. The air in the van on the way back was tense, and I was glad when we finally arrived home.

            Running upstairs, I flung myself onto my bed, curling up in the pillows. Why? That was all I could think. My life was going so well! I had four best friends, a nice career doing something I love and making lots of money, a loving family, and a massive group of fans. How could one little thing suddenly make my life seem so much worse? Before, I had everything to gain. Now, I felt as if I had everything to lose.

            If it were anything not involving him, I would’ve called for Louis and let him comfort me. But this time, that wouldn’t work. My sweet, adorable Boobear. He didn’t deserve this either. How will my family take it? Will I be allowed to tell them the truth? How long do we have to keep up the act? Will it tear us as a band apart? So many questions kept running through my mind, and none of them I could answer. I felt like my head was about to explode.

            Reaching a hand up over my mouth so I wouldn’t make any noises, my body shook as I began to sob. I clenched the pillow tighter against my chest, the bed creaking with my violent shaking sobs. Why did it have to be me? Why Louis?

            Louis. I wondered how he was taking it. Probably not much better than myself, if I had to guess. If only we could do this together, but I knew in my heart that we were now alone. Our relationship was the issue, so how could it be the solution? I was going to lose him, slowly, until it felt as if I never had him. But I didn’t want to forget him, or our memories, all the good times together. I wanted Louis, and why couldn’t Simon understand that? I just wanted my best friend and my world to feel normal. I guess I’m not allowed to have what I want anymore.

            Sitting up, I tore a piece of paper out of a notebook on the table and grabbed a pen. Sad moods are generally when I write the best song lyrics, so I may as well see what I can do now. I don’t think times come much more upsetting than the way I feel right now.

            I wish someone could be, like, my superman, and come save Louis, me, and our hearts from whatever I could feel was coming…

I, I, I wanna save ya

Wanna save your heart tonight

He’ll only break ya

Leave you torn apart

Oh

I can’t be no superman

But for you I’ll be superhuman

I, I, I wanna save ya, save ya, save ya

Tonight

            The lyrics seemed to flow effortlessly from my hand, as I continued crying and just letting the words come. Simon was going to break us, and right now, I realized I didn’t care what he did to me. That’s not why I was so upset. I didn’t want to see Louis broken down and brokenhearted, he didn’t deserve it.

            At that meeting today, as I watched his sparkling blue eyes go lifeless and fill with tears, I felt for the first time how much I wanted to protect Louis. He was mine to comfort and protect, and I had let him down. It felt like I was dying as I watched him, not knowing how to make it better.

            That’s how best friends are supposed to feel, right? I need him in my life. With that thought, I laid the paper and pen back down on the table and fixed my hair in the mirror, Wiping my tears, I went down the hall to Louis’ room, where I knew he would be.

            Rapping my knuckles lightly against the door, I gently said, “Boo? I know you’re in there, and I know it hurts. I feel it too. Let me in?” I heard a sniffle, but no motion. “Lou? Boobear? Come on, I know I’m part of the problem, but best mates ‘til the end, remember?” Still nothing.

            I waited outside his door for what felt like hours, but was in reality only about thirty minutes. Facing the floor, I wiped another tear and began to trudge back to my own room. I guess Louis didn’t need me anymore, not like I needed him. Maybe we weren’t as close as I thought.

            When I reached my room, I locked the door once again and curled up with the pillows. This time, I didn’t bother to hide my face or mask my sobs. I just broke down.

Louis didn’t need me. He didn’t want me. I gripped the pillowcase.

I wanted to beg, plead with him, make him see how I was feeling, but I couldn’t. I didn’t think he’d want to listen anyway. My face was now smashed into the pillow.

I didn’t mean anything to him, like he meant to me. I started to shake a little.

It was actually happening… I was starting to lose my Boo.

That was when I totally lost it. Screaming, sobbing, shaking, out of control, I squeezed that pillow as hard as I could. I felt like this was a nightmare, like I could wake up in a second and it would be over, and I would have my best friend back again, and I could still trust Simon. The pillow and my bed were soaked with my tears, my clothes were rumpled, hair tangled, face a hot mess. But the only thing I was still capable of thinking, feeling, and remembering, was that I was here alone in my room with the door locked and pain in my chest while I had nobody to help me.

I really wished Louis were here, instead of that stupid pillow.