Waking up the next morning, I groaned at the light and went to stretch my shoulders but hit something. Something that was large, soft and warm. What the…?

“Boo? Wake up,” I shook him gently, confused how and why he was in my bed.

He grumbled at me and rolled over. “No, I’m tired, leave me alone.”

“What in the world are you doing?” I asked.

“What does it look like? Trying to go back to sleep, idiot.”

I rubbed my face in frustration. “No, why are you here, in my room, laying with me in my bed, when you have your own perfectly good room down the hall?”

“I kind of… erm… I couldn’t sleep and I was really uncomfortable so I came to sleep with you,” he flushes as he explains.

“Why me?”

He looked away again guiltily. “I kind of, sort of, maybe just might have gotten used to sleeping with you while we were away…” he murmured.

“That’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Boo. We were together every night for two weeks; it’s only natural you got used to it. You know I’d never make you get out anyway,” I chuckle at him.

“It’s pathetic! I’m a grown man; I shouldn’t need another guy with me to sleep at night!”

“Don’t say that, Lou! You’re not pathetic and never will be; you just got used to me. Besides, it’s actually a bit adorable that you’re so attached to me.”

He pouts, “I am not adorable! I am a man so I am sexy, hot, handsome, but not adorable!”

Laughing, I get out of bed and start for the door. “Whatever you say, Boo, whatever you say.” I hear him muttering about an arse named Styles as I walk out.

 I pass Liam on my way to find breakfast. “Morning, Li! Happy we’re home and you can go see Danielle again?” I smirk at him.

“Of course I am. Maybe if you could find the patience to settle down and fall for someone, you’d have a girl to come home to as well,” he retorted. For some reason, I felt a bit odd when he said I’d have a girl to come home to. It was almost as if my body was telling me it didn’t want a girl.

“I’ll leave that stuff to you, Daddy. So, what’s got you in a hurry?” Before I’d stopped him, he’d been rushing up the stairs to Lou’s room.

He looked confused for a second before rolling his eyes. “You almost made me forget what I was doing, Harry! Louis’ mum called; she wants him to go visit with the family for a few days.”

“How many do you consider a few?” I ask worriedly. I hated time spent apart from my Boobear.

“Only three days, Haz, don’t get worked up,” he reassured me quickly. Probably because last time he’d told me Louis was leaving I’d clung to Lou’s body and had to be pried off him. The other boys got a kick out of it, but I was actually upset and didn’t want him to go.

“Right, just three days…” I mumble as I continue down to Niall in the kitchen.

That afternoon, just as we finished lunch, Louis and I headed to his room to pick up his freshly packed bag. I was pretty sure my face held a depressed expression, but I didn’t care at that moment.

“Boo? You’ll be back in three days, right?” I ask, worried he’s lying and is staying longer.

“Of course, Hazzabear. I’ll miss you my little curly-haired idiot.”

“I’ll miss you too, Louis,” I said, watching as he put the bag in his car. “Can I get a goodbye hug?” I felt like a little kid asking, but it’d be worth it if he agreed.

He smirked at me. “Aw, is my little Hazza missing his Lou already? Hazza doesn’t have to worry, Lou will only be gone for a few days.” I step closer to him and he wraps his arms around my waist.

“That’s a few days too long,” I reply, burying my nose in the crook of his neck. I was going to miss this, the cuddling, laughing, joking, and comfort. But I knew Louis really wanted to go home and see his family, and I could never say no to his beautiful eyes.

There I go again, calling him beautiful. I’d almost gotten used to it by now, because I had so many random thoughts about him that best friends don’t normally have. I knew somewhere in the back of my head that we were no longer just best friends, but I didn’t know what to call it and Liam told me I was in denial of the fact that I wanted to date him.

I was already dating him, why would I need to deny that? The way Liam said it kind of sounded as if he thought I wanted to date Louis for real… which I can assure you I most definitely hadn’t thought of.

All right, so maybe I had. Maybe I’d started to think of Louis in a more romantic way. But that didn’t change anything, because I was not going to fall in love with my best friend and Louis William Tomlinson was not going to turn me gay.

Suddenly I realize that sometime while I’ve been off in my own mind, Louis has started jumping around in front of me, waving his arms and calling my name. “Haz, Hazza! Hazzabear! Harry? Haz! You’re back!” He crushed me in another tight hug.

“Erm, I didn’t know I’d left, but if you say so,” I answer, confused.

“You spaced out for quite some time there, mate,” he chuckled while I shot him a glare. “Okay, okay, fine. Sorry for interrupting your mental conversation with yourself.”

The door to the house opens and Liam pokes his head out. “Louis? Jay just called; she’s wondering why you haven’t left yet when you promised her you’d be there in a few hours. I told her you were just parting with Harry and she wants me to let you know not to take too long,” he winked before going back inside.

Wait, he winked? Why would he wink at us? I glance down, only to notice we’re still all wrapped up and look like a couple. Liam should be used to this though, we do it all the time, especially now that the public thinks we’re dating.

Giving me one last squeeze, Louis steps back. He waves and grins before hopping in the car and turning on the engine. I’m still standing there, smack in the middle of the driveway, until his car disappears in the distance. Only then can I force myself to turn back around and enter the house.

I can hear the other boys messing around, but it’s never the same without Lou here. He just makes all of us laugh and want to pull our hair out, but somehow I feel like he’s a part of me.

I spend the rest of the afternoon moping until I remember about his journal. He probably took it with him, but it wouldn’t hurt to check… Opening my door for the first time since he left, I walk quietly to the door next to mine.

Louis is normally the biggest slob of all of us, so I wasn’t expecting his room to be neatly organized into stacks of folded clothing and everything where it belonged. It was likely due to the fact that he just had to pack and couldn’t find anything in his normal mess. Laughing silently, I step in farther and shut the door behind me.

There’s no little book under the mattress this time, or under the sheets or pillows. There’s nothing under the bed and I couldn’t see anything in his piles of clothes both by the walls and in drawers.

Moving on, I open the cabinets under his sink and pull back the shower curtain. I see plenty of white, but I still haven’t found blue stripes. Sighing, I close everything in the bathroom.

Where else can he have hid it? He knows that I’m aware he has a journal now, so he will have hidden it somewhere I wouldn’t guess. Maybe somewhere painfully obvious? I took just a super quick glance around the room, but nothing popped out at me.

Great, he probably took it with him. I just lost another wonderful chance to find Louis Tomlinson’s big secret. The more time passed, the more anxious I became over what he was hiding and what I could do to help him. It physically hurt me to watch him and now be able to tell he was suffering.

Making my way back to my own bed, I flop down across the top. It’s not yet time to eat, but I don’t feel like joining the others in watching a movie. I grab my phone, wishing Louis would call with something interesting to do.

Just as I’m about to put down the phone, it rings. I look down and do a double take, not believing my luck. It was Louis. Grinning, I accept the call and hold my phone to my ear.

“Hey Lou!” I greet him cheerily.

“Haz,” he replies. His voice sounds off.

“Is something the matter, Boo? You sound funny,” I ask, concerned.

I hear a sigh from the other end. “I’m fine. I just forgot my stupid journal again is all. I was wondering, you know, if, you know…” he trailed off, mumbling too softly for me to understand.

“Can’t hear you, can you speak up a little?” I request.

“I was wondering if you could maybe try to find the journal and put it somewhere the other boys wouldn’t see it? I mean, it’s okay if it’s too much of a hassle or they’ve already found it, but I really want this to stay secret, Hazza,” he sounded desperate.

“Of course I’ll look, Boo! I can’t promise anything, but I’ll let you know if I find it, all right? Now go back to your family,” I assure him.

“Really? Thanks so much Hazzabear, you’re incredible! See you in a few days!” He replies before I hear the beep of an ended call.

Louis didn’t take the journal… it was here. Louis Tomlinson’s secret-filled journal was lurking somewhere in this house just waiting for me to find it. God, I sounded like such a bad boy, trying to steal his personal journal just to find out his secrets. I’d feel even worse if I meant poorly, but I honestly just wanted to help.

I bounced up with seemingly renewed energy. It was time to find the journal and figure out what was wrong once and for all. I was tired of Louis lying to me and making up excuses; I wanted to know why he couldn’t sleep and felt horrible all day long.

Oh, white and blue striped journal, where are you?