Hi, it's Erica back again. You've probably met me and my little sister Ellie before in the Headless Ogre Story and the Queen Custard Tart Story. Today is a pupil-free day at our school and we're going to go shopping with Mum. It's not fair, cos some kids are going to the movies and others for a picnic on the beach, but we have to help mum with the shopping. The only good thing is that mum said my best friend Bree can come with us and then come to our place after for lunch and maybe hire a new DVD .Bree's mum is working so she said yes, but she (Bree) wasn't sure about lunch. My mum serves weird health stuff for lunch. Dad warns mum to drive carefully. He reckons mum's a maniac behind the wheel.Mum says if dad likes to take the day off, then he can do the driving and the shopping. Dad tells her not to be silly, that of course he can't do that. Mum says 'I thought so' in an almost -cross sort of way. Dad goes into another room, muttering something but I don't quite hear what.

Anyway, we all get into the car, but there's a spider in there and so we all tumble out again,screaming. Dad has to come and get rid of it. He's really cross and grumpy and says he'll be late for work. At last the spider's gone and we climb back into the car. Ellie keeps saying she can see another spider and cries. She's such a baby!

Mum drives really fast into the shopping-centre carpark and nearly rams into a very shiny smart four-wheel drive. The man in the 4WD winds his window down and shouts rude stuff at mum, who puts her window down and shouts rude stuff back. She gives him the finger too, even though dad has told her not to, cos the other person could be a 'Psycho',and do road-rage stuff. Bree and I put our hands over our faces, but we still peep through our fingers. Ellie just cries.

Nothing happens with the man, so we all go into the supermarket. Ellie grabs hold of a trolley and manages to tip it over on herself, then of course she cries-again and mum gets cross. I wish mum had sent Ellie to after-school care.

In the supermarket, mum takes ages to read packets. It's so boring, but mum says it's important to know exactly what's in the food and where it comes from. Bree and I take selfies and roll our eyes. Ellie tugs on mum's skirt. Then Ellie wants to go to the toilet, so that means we all have to go, even if we don't really want to. Afterwards we finish our shopping. Mum says we can choose some things for our school-lunch, but mum won' t buy stuff we like; nice food with hundreds and thousands on top, mini cheese biscuits or muffin bars. Mum is on what she calls a health kick, so that means she buys horrible stuff like dates and pumpkin seeds and pretend potato chips (they haven't got any salt on them and they taste weird.)

Last week, Alex, a mean boy in my class, looked at my lunch-box and said it was no wonder I farted so much. All his friends laughed and so did some of the other kids. I was so cross that I pinched him and some blood came out. He told our teacher and we were both in trouble and she sent us to the Principal's office. The Principal made us sit down and write a'sorry' letter to each other. We did, but Alex made a face at me behind her back, so I drew a really nasty spider on the back of his.letter. I hate Alex.

When we finish at the supermarket, we go to the Greengrocer, where Mum picks up all the fruit and veg and squeezes and pokes them. Bree and I see the man behind the counter looking rather cross; especially when mum doesn't buy anything and Ellie makes us take a photo of her with a banana across her face like a big mouth. Mum just smiles at the man and says: 'you have some nice stuff-bit pricey for us though. Anyway have a lovely day'. The man mutters something and Bree and I are glad we're leaving his shop.

Ellie's whining again. She wants a milkshake. Mum says just one more shop-stop and then we can all sit down for something to drink. Bree and I are really hungry, but the only thing Mum would let us have was some free fresh fruit in the Greengrocer's, where mum didn't buy anything.

Next is the chemist. Mum walks up to the counter and asks for something to help with Worms and Head-lice.Mum has a very loud voice and everyone in the shop turns to stare.Some giggle. Some leave the shop. Even the girl behind the counter is trying not to laugh. Bree and I look at the floor and roll our eyes at each other again. Mum doesn't seem to notice anything, but the trouble is people look at mum. Just lately she's changed the way she dresses and has long flowy skirts and dyes her hair bright sor tof orangey red. Alex says my mum's a weirdo hippy lady. I do wish she'd look like some of the other mums and wear tight skinny jeans and shorter skirts. Dad says she has great legs and shouldn't cover them up. I agree with dad.

At last we can go to get a drink and something to eat. Bree and I want to order Moccachino's. Of course Ellie wants one too, so mum says we'll have to order something different. That means same as Ellie .Bree and I like the cosy booths in the coffee shop. When the waitress comes, Mum orders some of her weird Herbal Tea. Dad calls it Pond Slime Tea. Bree and I try to order Moccachinos again, but mum says there's too much caffeine and we should all order milkshakes, like Ellie. So not fair! Then the nice waitress asks mum if perhaps Ellie would be able to have a Babychino. It has a pink marshmallow on the top, whereas Moccachinos don't have marshmallows, so Ellie would be special. Mum gives in,cos she's tired of Ellie's grizzling and Bree and I can have our Moccachinos. We really like that waitress. After the coffee shop, mum tells us that cos we've been so good (Bree and I have-not Ellie though) she'll take us to the Op-shop to buy ourselves a present.Ellie says; 'Yay'. Bree's never been to an Op-shop and doesn't know what mum's talking about. What if one of the kids from school sees us, like Alex or Molly, the popular nasty girl. We'll get paid out, so Bree and I say we don't want anything and can we just wait in the car? Mum says there's no way she's going to leave two almost nine-year-olds alone in a car, even a locked one. So we have to go in. Ellie leaps around grabbing toys, books and a pink cardigan with pom-poms. Bree and I just stand by the door, hoping mum won't be long, but mum's having fun finding stuff for herself and Ellie and she takes ages. Lots of other mums buy their kids really cool clothes in the city or the mall; it isn't fair. At last we can leave, but just as we do, Sienna, one of Molly's friends walks past with her big sister. Everyone at school wishes they had a sister like Sienna's. She's a model and she works in a shop that sells awesome teenage clothes. When she sees us, she doesn't say hello,but nudges her sister and whispers something to her. They both turnaround. Sienna is giggling. I hate her and so does Bree. Thank goodness it's now time to go home. Mum drives back just like the way she did going to the shops-too fast, beeping other cars and yelling stuff out the window. Sometimes, if she's going to say something really bad, she says; 'Cover your ears, kids!'

Bree and I are glad to get back, but we're not looking forward to going to school on Monday, cos we're sure to get paid out, especially about the Op-shop. I love my mum,but sometimes I wish she wasn't what dad calls a 'free spirit'.