I was proud of Mikey for learning to drive. It was something that never crossed my mind, as mine was full of voices and thoughts. His hands gripped the wheel eagerly, as my hand dangled from the window. The wind slapped my skin, but it was the only thing that was keeping me from falling asleep. My body craved sleep lately, I had no idea why.

"Where would you like to go for dinner?" Mikey asked, turning his head to smile at me. Breathing out, thinking of somewhere he would like, I opened my mouth. I had no idea, having little knowledge of my brother anymore. He rolled his eyes, laughing as he turned the wheel to the right. "I'll decide then." He added, tapping his fingers loudly.

After ten more minutes of driving, Mikey finally decided where we would be going. It wasn't anywhere fancy, but I told myself that I would eat around him. The thought of that was making me feel uncomfortable, but I didn't want to lose my freedom. Closing our doors at the same time, he walked close to me. I felt like he sensed something wrong in me, like had had to keep a close eye on me. To be honest, he was always keeping a close eye on me. The boy was stuck to me like superglue, trying to stop the inevitable.

My arms itched like crazy, but my fingers were reluctant to scratch at the scars. Mikey would know, he'd probably pin me to the ground and force me to walk to the hospital myself. Therapy doesn't work, it's yourself that gets you through- well, from my experiences that was the only thing that made any sense anymore. He pushed the door open, guiding me over to a booth at the back. This meant that he wanted to discuss things with me I private, my mind instantly wanted to throw itself from a bridge. After trying not to sigh ridiculously loud, I sat down across from him, leaning back. He was looking me directly in the eyes, as if he was trying to find a way into the back of them to gather is information.

"No Mikey, I'm not planning on killing myself. Or anybody else for that matter- well, not yet anyway." I said, adding a little joke at the end to try and get a laugh from him. He smiled, kicking me underneath the table.

"I'm just worried about you Gee, I don't trust that you know what you're doing one-hundred-percent of the time, you know? Especially when you hang around with that dick, Frank." He said, rolling his eyes, picking up a menu. His eyes moved from side to side, scanning every item. Whereas I simply pretended. If I could get away with eating one leaf of lettuce and one half of a tomato then I'd consider it a win. I wasnt hungry, nor had I been for days. I craved cigarettes, and beer, and the sweet release of pain. Not some greasy burger with a soggy bun.

"You shouldn't be worried. I'm fine, you're fine. Everybody is fine." I said, looking at the alcohol section of the menu. Mikey scoffed, taking it away from me. I smiled, pretending to look somewhat angelic.

"He's a bad influence, and he makes you like this. He sucks the life out of you, you look like a dead man walking." He sighed, placing his menu down as a tall, brunette wandered over. Her skin was almost perfect, bar a few blemishes on her cheeks. Her hair sat on top of her head in an artfully-done braid, her lips stained a bright shade of red. I saw Mikey gawping at her, probably fighting the urge to just steal her away.

He ordered for me, figuring that I wouldn't say anything useful- other than eleven bottles of beer and an expensive cigar. She took the menus, Mikey staring at her face, then clicked away in her little red heels.
"Hey, pervert, thanks for the compliment. You look handsome too." I said sarcastically, waving a hand in front of his eyes, which he rolled almost into the back of his head.

"I'm being serious Gerard, your eyes look like you've been punched a fair few times. Like, a lot of times. Probably by Frank's demands, because you seem to give in every time he asks you to do something ridiculous."

I held up a hand, not wanting to argue with him. I loved my brother. Hell, he was my best friend- except for Frank. Frank was more than a friend to me, my mind had convinced me that he was part of me. That I needed him to function. Mikey sighed loudly, taking his drink from the lady he had been ogling over. He chewed a piece of ice loudly, the shards banging against his perfect teeth.

"Gerard, I just want you to promise me that you'll be careful. I know that you hate me always checking up on you, but I refuse to lose you to the mental health system- because of your own actions. I don't want Sunday visits in a white room. I don't want to have to watch you sit there with no life in you because they've pumped you full of meds." He was leaning in towards me, out of respect I sat up to show him that I was listening. The least I could do was promise him that I wouldn't fall a victim to the white walls. Taking my straw between my fingers, I squashed the top, stirring the water with it.

"Okay Mikey, I'll promise you. I don't want you to be disappointed in me." I said quietly, as he held out a hand.

It was our custom to pinky-promise. Even when we were little, we'd force each other to promise that way. It gave our words an air of sincerity, like we would always keep those promises. Our pinky-fingers wrapped around each other, gripping on tightly. I'd make a promise to stay out of hospital, but I couldn't promise that I wouldn't follow Frank until the day that I died.

I loved him.
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Song Of The Chapter- Is This What You Wanted by The Last Shadow Puppets

A.N
Long time no update! Many many many apologies but I had 23 exams to survive!!! Which I have, so expect more regular updates!!

I'm working on a few things, and some editing, and some sequels, so keep voting and commenting and loving me (because I need that attention, in thirsty) and I'll attempt to keep you entertained 🖤