"If you wish to change the weather of the world, you should find yourself another Wizard." Gandalf answered the complaints about the rain.

"Are there any?"

"What?"

"Other wizards."

"There are five of us. The greatest of our order is Saruman the White. Then there are the two Blue Wizards... Do you know, I've quite forgotten their names."

"And who is the fifth?"

"Well, that would be Radagast the Brown."

"Is he a great Wizard? Or is he more like you?"

As Gandalf glared at Bilbo, the dwarves closest behind snickered at his expense. Aria noticed even Thorin wasn't immune to the comedy of the conversation as a smile crossed his face. It was a pleasant change to see him enjoying the moment.

They had traveled quite a mile in the deluge before the weather cleared, thankfully close to a shelter. Thorin lead the way to the run down cottage, but Gandalf wasn't too keen on staying.

"We'll camp here for the night. Fili, Kili, look after the ponies. Oin, Gloin, get the fire going." He gave out orders and went to meet Gandalf at the abandoned house.

"Why don't you get a command?" Ori complained to Aria.

Aria smiled kindly.

"Why don't I help you with the cooking, hmm?"

She lead Ori to where Oin and Gloin were setting up the camp. The company was enjoying themselves, chatting around the fire when Gandalf stormed off.

"Everything all right? Mr. Gandalf, where are you going?" Dori asked aster the wizard.

"To seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense."

"And who's that?" The hobbit asked.

"Myself, Mr. Baggins! I've had enough of dwarves for one day."

The company looked from the wizard to the king, tensions rising. Fili and Kili turned to Aria, and she agreed to talk with Thorin.

"WHAT!" Thorin barked as he turned around before softening once he realized it was Aria.

"Clearly you're under some pressure."

"It would not be wise to speak to me now," he warned her.

"I'm not here to speak with you. I need your assistance."

Thorin raised a brow in question of her claims of self reliance. Aria made a station around a table like stone, setting up her cooking stuff. She brought wheat stalks from her sack and placed them on the stone before turning to Thorin.

"Use that fury to grind this wheat for me?"

Thorin scoffed a dry laugh and found himself a useful rock, aiming his anger at the unfortunate grain.

"Is he coming back? He's been a long time." Bilbo asked when it was nightfall and the wizard still hadn't returned.

"Who?"

"Gandalf." Bilbo replied incredulously.

"He's a Wizard. He does as he chooses." Bifur told him.

"Here, do us a favor. Take this to the lads."

Bilbo took the bowls from Dwalin and went out into the woods where Fili and Kili we're keeping watch over the ponies. He found them frozen solid, looking petrified at the corral.

"What's the matter?" Bilbo asked, starling them.

"We're supposed to be looking after the ponies," Kili started.

"Only we've encountered a slight problem. We had 16."

"Now there's 14."

The company was sitting around the fire, eating their bowls of meal and having a casual night for once. Aria grew worried for their missing members, and went to Thorin.

"Have you seen the boys, Thorin?" She started as she sat with him.

"They're keeping watch over the ponies."

"Yes, and well, Bilbo went looking for them, and he hasn't come back yet either."

Thorin shared her concern and took her hand, leading her out to the corral, grabbing his sword on the way. They found the boys anxiously pacing, scratching their heads, and jumped when Thorin called out for them.

"What's wrong?" Thorin demanded.

"Well, remember how we had 16 horses?" Fili answered.

"Now we 14."

"Mahal! And where's the hobbit!"

"Heee..."

"He went to-.."

"Get the ponies back from the trolls." The brothers mumbled together but their guardians heard them loud and clear.

"Trolls??! There. Are. Trolls!?" Aria was flabbergasted. "And you didn't come get us!"

"It doesn't matter now. We have to get back Mr. Baggins. Come on!" Thorin lead the family back to camp to gather the other dwarves.

"Are there any more of you little fellas hiding where you shouldn't?" They watched the boss troll interrogate the hobbit.

"No." His voice didn't sound too convincing.

"He's lying."

"No, I'm not!"

"Hold his toes over the fire. Make him squeal!"

That bit got to Kili and out he ran, swinging his sword at the nearest troll, making him squeal instead.

"Drop him!" Kili demanded, wearing his best mean face.

"You what?"

"I said... drop him."

The boss troll flung Bilbo at Kili, knocking the two over, enough to make Thorin lead the ambush. He leaped out sword swinging, and the rest of the dwarves followed, attacking the trolls with whatever weapons they had.

Sometime during the fight, the trolls got hold of the hobbit again. The dwarves saw Bilbo quartered and froze in place.

"Bilbo!" Fili ran out once he saw Bilbo, but Thorin pulled him back.

"Lay down your arms. Or we'll rip his off," one threat was enough for the dwarves to surrender, and they soon found themselves sacked.

Literally.

A few of the dwarves were already tied on the spit, with the others waiting their turn piled together.

"Wait! You are making a terrible mistake." Bilbo tried to stop the trolls as they picked up a knife.

"You can't reason with them. They're half-wits!" Gloin whined.

"Half-wits? What does that make us?" One of the younger dwarves asked.

Bilbo rolled his eyes.

"I meant with the seasoning."

"What about the seasoning?" Troll 1 asked.

"Well, have you smelt them? You're gonna need something stronger than sage before you plate this lot up."

"Traitor!" Kili cursed Bilbo. He was doing the opposite of helping.

"What do you know about cooking Dwarf?" Troll 2 asked, but troll 1 bonked him with the spoon.

"Shut up. Let the flurgaburburobbit talk."

"The secret to cooking Dwarf is..." Bilbo took his sweet time.

"Yes? Come on. Tell us the secret." Troll 3 was growing impatient.

"It's, uh... Yes, I'm telling you. The secret is... to skin them first."

"What? Skin us?" Oin cried. Maybe the hobbit had been hit in the head too much.

"Tom, get me filleting knife." The young sounding troll said.

"I'll skin you, you little...!" Kili yelled, regretting making friends with hobbits.

"What a load of rubbish! I've eaten plenty with their skins on. Scarf them, I say, boots and all." The boss troll grumbled.

"He's right." The second troll agreed and picked up a dwarf by his legs. "Nothing wrong with a bit of raw dwarf. Nice and crunchy."

"Oh, not that one!" Bilbo cried. "He's... infected." He had to say something.

"Huh?"

"You what?"

"Yeah, he's got worms in his tubes." Bilbo continued.

"Eww! Aah!" The young troll dropped his dwarf in disgust.

Aria caught on to Bilbo's stalling, but the rest were still stuck on being offended.

"In fact, they all have. They're infested with parasites. It's a terrible business. I wouldn't risk it. I really wouldn't."

"Parasites? Did he say "parasites"?" Fili looked to his brother.

"We don't have parasites. You have parasites!"

Aria resigned and turned to Thorin, who'd understood as well, and kicked some sense into his nephews.

"I've got parasites as big as my arm!"

"Mine are the biggest parasites."

"I've got huge parasites. We're riddled."

Now it was a competition of who had the most bugs.

"What would you have us do, then? Let them all go?"

"Well..."

The trolls had caught on too, but a moment too late.

"The dawn will take you all!" A new voice announced and the trolls turned to it.

The old man stabbed his staff into the rock and it split, exposing the dawn and turning the trolls to stone.

Gandalf had finally returned and helped the dwarves get out of the sacks.

"Where did you go to, if I may ask?" Thorin grumbled to the wizard.

"To look ahead."

"What brought you back?"

"Looking behind. Nasty business."

Thorin was quick to read between the lines.

"Still, they're all in one piece."

"No thanks to your burglar." Him getting caught had been what got them in trouble the first place.

"He had the nous to play for time." Gandalf defended the hobbit. "None of the rest of you thought of that."

Bilbo watched Thorin and Gandalf argue over him, and didn't notice Aria come stand next to him.

"Don't take him to heart, Mr. Baggins. He's just a little keyed up about this trip."

"I understand. But he's right to question me. I'm not a burglar. I've not done a single bad deed in all my life."

"You say that like burgling is a bad thing!"

Bilbo gave her a deadpan face.

"I'm kidding. But look how smart you were rescuing us from becoming mutton. I bet you'll be a burglar yet, Bilbo!"