Kongpob came running in with a big tub of chocolate favoured icecream.
Panting, he stood near the bathtub and offered the container to Arthit.

" Arthit, I only have this for now. I have ordered food online, it will take time to reach. "

Arthit peeked curiously in the container, it was something mushy & brownish in colour. Stretching his finger cautiously he touched the outer surface of container, a bead of water dripped down the surface taking along other drops residing on the wall, shocked, Arthit instantly drew his hand back " it's so cold Kongpob! Like ocean water in winters 😳"

Kongpob pursed his lips " You don't like this ? "

Arthit warily gazed at the brown coloured mush. It didn't really looked appetizing at all. But, he can't deny the offering of the host, it's against royal customs.

Arthit put up a diplomatic front, a small smile graced his regal features while he addressed his guest politely
"I'm sure I will like it Kongpob. But, first may I know what this is ? Shouldn't food be hot ? What is this new cold food ? " 

" Its Ice-cream. Try it, I'm sure you will like it, Arthit " Kongpob smiled.

Arthit furrowed his brows in confusion
"  Ice-cream?  you want me to eat Ice with cream, human 🤔? "

" Its not literally Ice with cream Arthit 🤦"

" Its not. Why did you lie to me then 🙄? "

" When did I lie? " Kongpob asked perplexed.

" You said it's Ice cream, then you said it's not ."

" It is ice cream, Arthit. "

" You are lying again 😣😣." Arthit folded his hand infront of his chest " You said it's not ice cream, now you say it is😒."

Babo who was watching both pea-brained humans...(well one full & one half human), yelled " something is better than nothing. "

Arthit gawked at the bird in awe " you are right Bright bird. You are so smart, I would suggest your name for royal advisor when I go back."

" Arthit is beautiful " bird chirped up.

" Thank you, Bright bird .... Arthit was so hungry, you know? This human pond doesn't even have prawns.😔 Arthit should at least have a taste of ice with cream, right ?. "

" About time " bird squeaked.

Smiling, Kongpob stretched the container towards Arthit who cautiously dipped one finger in the icecream tub and stared at Kongpob innocently  " it's really cold Kongpob. "

Kongpob smiled encouragingly at the merman "ofcourse, It's meant to be cold... eat "

Shoving his finger in his mouth, Arthit licked it clean. It was cold but sweet & tasty... A taste Arthit never had before, but he liked it and definitely wanted more.

Arthit beamed at Kongpob, his tail shimmered blue which made Kongpob grin. " Its really good Kongpob. Its tasty.😋 Arthit really doesn't like that it is cold but it's yummy...Arthit wants more." The merman eagerly reached for the tub, fully intending to dip his finger once again in the ice-cream tub but the human pulled back his hand.

Perplexed, Arthit gawked at Kongpob
" Arthit wants more human🐹🐅. "

" Yeah. But, you should eat it with a spoon . " Kongpob pointed to the small utensil in the ice-cream tub.

" Eat with this? "  Arthit was  wondering how he was supposed to eat with that shiny thing. Aren't hand for eating ? Why does humans need this metal things to eat ? Does their hands not function properly or is it a human ritual ? He was pondering on many things while comitting the name and shape of utensil to his memory.

Arthit picked up the metal object and inspected it " spoon " he murmured.

"To engage in amorous behavior, such as kissing or caressing." The bird quipped up.

" Shut up. " Kongpob glared at the bird.

" You can shut my mouth but you can't bury the truth. " The bird yelled.

" Really,Bright bird? Humans use spoon to kiss & make love? Have you seen it? " Arthit asked amazed.

The bird ducked it's head, Arthit took it as yes. He turned his torso in the direction of bird

" How do they kiss using a spoon? Can you tell me dear intelligent friend? " he further asked

The bird cocked its head, looking at Arthit with its beady eyes it spilled the treasured knowledge
"  lie down behind or against another person so that both bodies face the same direction with the knees drawn up slightly like nested spoons."

🤔 Arthit pondered deeply on the info provided. " So humans lie down against each other with their knees drawn up ... But how do they kiss like that? where does the spoon come in ? I still don't understand how humans kiss using the spoon ? " 😧 " Can you please tell me bright bird ? " 🤗

The bird preened it's feathers , balancing itself on one leg , Babo threw Kongpob a haughty glare " I am too underpaid for this shit ton of workload. Make yourself useful human 😣"

" The fuck? " Kongpob swore.

" What is fuck, Kongpob ? " Arthit asked, his eyes shining bright with usual curiosity.

" Its a bad word" Kongpob answered guiltily "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. "

" Fuck ... meaning ...An act of sexual intercourse. " The bird provided the answer.

" Stop spouting nonsense" Kongpob scolded, neither Arthit nor Babo paid him any attention.

" Really ,Bright bird ? You know so many words! " Arthit gushed. " Do you know more ? "

The bird nodded " First written evidence of this word is found in works from late 1400 ..."

Kongpob scoffed " Does P'Bright feed you dictionary for food ? "

" A man should be well learned. " The bird retorted.

" Too bad... you are a bird. Now, stop teaching him these nonsensical things ..." Kongpob scowled at the bird.

" You first lie to me saying fuck is a bad word... When my friend ' Bright bird' is trying to teach me real meanings , you have nerve to scold him huamn ? You should be greatful that you are not born a mer. I should have executed you for feeding false information to a royal, it's a crime against the throne. "

" To be hanged till death. " The bird supported Arthit.

Arthit shook his head in amusement, looking at the left he  gently corrected the bird" We cut the head, Bright bird... Not hang. Hanginging is painful. " He told the bird calmly. Kongpob gulped, his hands suddenly too warm. Ice-cream was already melting.

" To behead till death. " The bird corrected.

Arthit chuckled " You should swipe the head clean in single stroke Bright bird, You don't cut it slow. We shouldn't hurt them much na"

" True " the bird nodded, now interested in grooming her feathers.

Kongpob couldn't believe it's eyes, fuck the bird & this merman - they are discussing his execution - the man who is giving them a roof over his head! Do they have any kind of sympathy?

" Do you want to eat or not ? " Kongpob asked irritated. This half fish & full bird are playing tag team against poor old single - him. How is this fair ?

Arthit glared at him " Are you threatening a royal right after feeding him false information, Kongpob ? "

" What false information? "

" First you told me spoon is only for eating  when you clearly kiss using the spoon. 😒😣"

" We do not kiss using the spoon . "

" Bright bird doesn't lie human" Arthit growled.

" How do you know that ? " Kongpob asked " Do you even know what kiss is ? "

" Ofcourse" Arthit said, offended.
What does this human take him for 😣?

" Kiss is first step of mating. A mer-man stands infront of his prospective mate and opens his mouth wide in a pout and touch his prospective mate's lip. The larger the circumference, longer is mating organ. Mer-female especially choose mer-man who can kiss big. P'Krist always said mer-females would die to have me. I have big mating organ"

Kongpob's mouth fell open in shock" fishes have dick ? "

" What is dick 🤔? We don't have weird human things" Arthit frowned.

" Dick - meaning - a male organ of couplation" the bird chirped up.

Arthit fumed with the new knowledge
" What do you mean by fishes have dick ? Do you think mer-baby falls from sky? 😣😡"

" That means you have a dick ?😱" Kongpob asked, eyes wide as saucers.

" Ofcourse." Arthit fumed, defensive if his name pride. " Quite big , If I may add "

Kongpob's eyes suspiciously  moved over the frame of the merman, not quite believing the outrageous claim.

" What? You don't believe? Do you want me to show you ? "

Kongpob who was squatting, lost his balance and fell back on his ass " No" 😬. He shrieked. " Keep it in, wherever it is. "

Arthit tapped his chin " Now I understand... That hanging small leg was human mating organ ? "

" Yes. " Kongpob nodded.

" It was quite small. 🙄" Arthit commented.

" It was not 😠😡" Kongpob argued.

Arthit smirked " I'm positive it is quite smaller than mine.  Do you want to compare the lengths,human ? "

" No, thank you. " Kongpob retorted, standing up. " Length of the rocket doesn't matter, shooting the target skillfully is what matters. "

" Human mating organ is a rocket ? 😨" Arthit asked perplexed. He was quite weirded out by even the idea of it. " Tell me the truth bright bird😌"

" Jack hammer, rocket, python, dragon, rod, jack are slangs for a dick. " Bird provided.

" You lied to me again? 😒. Rocket & dick are same thing. Bright bird is saying so, I believe him."

Rubbing his temple, Kongpob scooted closer.

" Let's understand it as this... Words mean different at different times. Take the word spoon. It has many meanings - one them means to cuddle & kiss. Babo was right but I was right too."

" What about fuck? You said it's a bad word. Bright bird says it's sexual something.... " Arthit scratched his head, he couldn't remember next word correctly

" Intercourse" Kongpob supplied.

" Yeah... That course. It sounds like mating or pre- mating activities. "

" It is. It can mean mating." Kongpob nodded.

" See. You lied. How can mating be bad word ? 😒"

" Fuck is a bad word, Arthit . It's a curse word. " Kongpob tried to explain.

"If it means mating , then why mating is a bad word. It reminds Arthit, what is a cuddle Kongpob ? Spoon used for eating also means Kiss. Does cuddle means eat ? Humans are weird, one thing means another and another means first one.  Why can't they mean their own selves ? Now Arthit is confused 🙆. " Arthit frowned, his lips curled in a cute pout.

Kongpob's irritation and anger instantly dissipated seeing Arthit's squishy cheeks pronounced more due to pouting.

" Okay, let me explain" Kongpob squatted down and offered the ice-cream to Arthit
" you can eat while I explain, okay? "

Arthit eagerly snatched the ice-cream tub from Kongpob's hand. Kongpob just chuckled. Arthit dipped is finger in the ice-cream which was slightly melted and softened. Arthit scooped up some of it and put it in his mouth, closing his eyes in bliss he moaned lowly. " Yummy😋😍. Is there a hot ice-cream Kongpob ? Can you bring Arthit a warm ice-cream next time? Arthit likes the taste but it's cold. "

" That's why you should use the spoon" Kongpob informed, picking up the spoon he scooped some ice-cream and held it to Arthit's mouth who instantly closed his lips around the spoon as if someone would snatch the ice-cream away from him should he be a second late.

" Easy tiger... All of this is yours. You must be too hungry. I should have thought about it. I'm sorry na " Kong apologised.

" Arthit is a mer-man not a tiger Kongpob🤦" Arthit explained perplexed. Then he remembered something. " Does tigers like ice-cream Kongpob? "

Kongpob laughed, full bellied beautiful cackle, Arthit quite liked the sound of it but he didn't like that Kongpob laughed at him.
" Just where do you find these questions, you stupid meramn? " Kongpob asked ruffling his hairs.

" You said, easy tiger when I was eating ice cream fast. Why would you say tiger, if they don't like ice-cream😒🤷. "

Kongpob shook his head in amusement , feeding next spoonful to mer-man, Kongpob explained " You should not take everything literally. We humans doesn't literally mean everything we say. Tiger sometimes mean an eager or overzealous person. "

" Oh! " Arthit nodded in understanding. Kongpob smiled and fed him next spoonfull. " Which brings me to my earlier explaination. In our language, one word have many meanings, you should take the meaning as it fits the occasion. Spoon is an object with which we eat, usually metallic but it can be made from other materials too.
When a man and woman ..." Kongpob paused " when any two humans lay down with one person's back against another - it's called spooning. In informal language, spoon also means to kiss & cuddle. "

" And Fuck, does it have one bad meaning? " Arthit asked curiously.

" Yes. Fuck is not a polite word." Kong explained. " A person of your stature should not use it. It does not suit a royal, right ? "

Arthit nodded " You are so considerate of my status , Kongpob😚. What are more words which has multiple meanings? "

" President." Kong clarified " It means head of an institution of organisation. That organisation doesn't always have to be a country. A company can have a president too. I'm president of a company not a country "

" Oh! I misunderstood you in morning. But, you are still a trader, right ? " Arthit asked.

" Yes.... Eat it now. " Kongpob handed the tub to Arthit.

" Arthit like when you fed him human. 😇"

" Good. " Kongpob smiled.

" Arthit wants you to feed him human. 🤗"

" Oh! .... Okay " Kongpob again squatted near the edge of the bathtub. Taking the tub from Arthit, Kongpob resumed his task of feeding the merman.

" Does eat have a bad meaning, Kongpob? " Arthit suddenly asked.

" No. " Kongpob said, closing his eyes and praying that damned bird won't jump in.

"Eat ...meaning... To perform anilingus or cunilingus, it is often used with out. " the bird blurted, much to Kongpob's dismay.

Arthit glared at Kongpob " You lied to me again, human?😡😠 "

🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅
A/N : Do comment ....
Humor is hard. I would like to know , if it's humourous to you or not 🙆...