i cry all the time even if im not sad like it doesnt even matter what mood im in, i just cry. are any of you like this bc idk if theres something terribly wrong with me (besides the crippling list of things i already know about lol gotta love disregulation) or if im just a crybaby
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m i c h a e l

The boring days dragged on as I played Bullshit with the surprisingly cool patients and snacked on ginger ale and Sun Chips.

"Bullshit," I called out as an older boy placed what I knew was certainly not an eight which made him laugh and pick up the pile of cards. Bullshit was quite literally the only fun thing they could really do during the day; besides during recreational therapy.

"Chester is starting group, everyone in the dining room!" Called a nurse no one bothered to remember the name of. The rest of the patients and I gathered in the dining room where nurse Chester waited in the front of the room. He was one of the oldest nurses, around fifty and sporting graying hair, and he always wore regular work clothes for a reason I didn't care about.

Once everyone (as in, like, fifteen people including me) was seated, Chester clasped his hands together. "Park your bones," he uttered his signature statement to tell everyone to stop moving around. I crossed my arms over my chest and faced Chester, the older man holding some materials in his hands.

"Okay, so today we're going to be complimenting each other..." I basically tuned the nurse out, watching lazily as he passed out paper and blank name stickers. I copied what I saw the others doing, which was writing their names on the large paper.

"Alright, you can begin. Make sure you give everyone a compliment." I rolled my bleak eyes and turned to a boy to my left. "hey, Ashton." The wavy haired boy smiled and greeted me as cheerfully as a mentally ill boy could, while scribbling some compliment on a sticker and placing it on my paper, me doing the same. This continued and I tried my hardest to put thought into the activity, knowing how much it might mean to another kid stuck in the hospital.

I took interest in a small pink haired girl, probably three years younger than me but quite mature for her age of only fourteen. Kind of ridiculous, but I figured I might as well mess around just a little while I was stuck in a hospital, and the girl, whose name was Tia, was undeniably attractive.

I etched some lame compliment that he knew Tia would find endearing and sent her a fake but flirty smile. When the group activity was over, Everyone returned to the main room to play some more Bullshit and wait for lunch. Every day was the same and I didn't know why I enjoyed the structure but I did. It felt right to be in the hospital, to fit in with everyone surrounding me. These were people I could tolerate, and they could tolerate me. And maybe the feeling of fitting in was what I needed for a while.

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Short chapter but i'll upload another tomorrow morning!! I like writing this book better than pink so i might update this more idk