A/N: AND LEAVE ME FEELING THIS EMPTY. YOUR MEOW RIGHT NOW WOULD SOUND LIKE MUSIC TO ME. PLEASE COME HOME 'CAUSE I MISS YOU GA-RY~ GARY CAN'T YOU SEE I WAS BLIND I'LL DO ANYTHING TO CHANGE YOUR MIND~

On their floor, Micah's heart rattled in his ribcage. He paused to catch his breath. His entire body was shaking, though the radiators had turned the stairwell air swelteringly hot.

The light was visible under the front door. Micah paused with his feet on the welcome mat to listen. The television was on, he thought, or maybe it was a video game?

He knocked anyway.

It took several seconds for a pair of footsteps to approach. They paused in front of the door, checking the peephole. This was promptly followed by Benny whispering, "Oh my God."

The entire doorknob rattled with the force Benny used to unlock the door and open it. Benny was in his arms in seconds, squeezing him around the neck.

"You're here!" Benny cried, already in tears.

"Sorry I didn't call..."

"It's fine! It's fine! Wait here," Benny said, beaming ear-to-ear. He shut the door behind him, but Micah got a glimpse of what lay inside.

Hunter, in his perfect man-bun, was standing in the living room staring at them.

Micah stared back until the door shut between them.

I feel like a feral cat, Micah thought, once again, barricaded in my new home, catching a glimpse of the already-domesticated cat.

Micah considered running. He should have, too, but moments later, the door was opening again. Hunter was nowhere to be seen, which Micah knew distinctly because he was looking everywhere. Benny's bedroom door was shut, the living room still in a disarray. The blankets were strewn in the perfect position of the nest the two of them had made to play video games in.

"Where is he," Micah said.

"It's—Um, go to your room for a second. Just for a second!" Benny said.

"No, he's here, I fucking saw him." His whisper was on the verge of seething as he foamed at the mouth.

Benny pushed him with all his might down the hall to Micah's room. Micah's socks were skidding, searching for traction to turn around and sniff the bastard out.

Micah tripped past the threshold of his room and whipped back around just as Benny shut the door. If he could have locked it, Micah guessed he would have.

Micah held himself back from yanking the door back open and giving Hunter a piece of his mind. Instead, trembling with hyperactive nerves and nausea, Micah leaned his ear against the crack in the door as Benny crossed the flat. A minute later, a door opened and shut, hard enough for Micah to decide it was intentional. The front door slammed hard enough for Micah to feel the vibrations against his cheek.

Micah stepped back to avoid being hit in the face when Benny burst in once more, out of breath.

"Okay, he's gone," Benny said.

Micah tried to place the look on Benny's face as anything other than awful. It sunk somewhere between nervous, sad, and excited the moment he met Micah's eyes. The negatives subsided the moment their eyes met, but Micah had seen them anyway.

"Is everything all right?" Micah asked, pierced with annoyance for himself. If anything was wrong, it was because of Hunter. And he didn't want to hear about Hunter.

"Yeah, everything's fine," Benny said. He took Micah by the hand to pull him out, but Micah stayed rooted in his room. "We can talk on the couch?"

The thought of seeing the Hunter-shaped nest in the living room brought bile up his throat. "Can we talk in here maybe?" Micah asked.

Benny agreed and together, they settled on the floor beside Micah's bed. Everything was just as Micah had left it, which also meant the old coffee mug on his desk was molding and there was a mostly-clean plate that hadn't seen the light of day in over two months.

Benny lunged at him again for a hug. "What're you doing here? I'm so happy you're here!"

Micah smiled. "Honestly, I don't know. I meant to take a train to Kennedy's but ended up here."

"It was fate! Are you—Have you been staying with Kennedy?" he asked, pulling back with his brow furrowed.

Micah nodded.

"How's your boyfriend," Benny asked, pinching his arm.

Micah laughed a little, throat tight. "We actually broke up."

Benny's shoulders slumped. "What? Already? Not that—I mean, timeline doesn't matter. I'm sorry." As he talked, picking up speed, his voice was already wobbling with grief. "I-Is that why you're here? 'Cause you needed a hug?"

Micah swallowed hard. Looking at Benny's teary eyes just succeeded in punching a hole through his already weak heart. "Yeah," he confessed, and so Benny hugged him again. He kept the tears at bay with a deep, shaky inhale.

Micah melted into him, chin sinking to Benny's shoulder. Though they'd only just hugged last on Wednesday, Micah was starved for Benny's warm embrace. He'd never been on the receiving end of Benny's heartfelt and shaky, "It'll be okay," before.

It nearly broke him. Nearly.

Micah separated, feeling dizzy and entirely unwell. Self-conscious of Benny's curious and cautious eyes, Micah looked to his lap. "It's for the best," Micah said.

"Wasn't that an Absolutely Do Not Do Ever on Kennedy's Empathy Flashcards?" Benny said, laughing when Micah scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. I can use it on myself."

"Well I for one am very proud of you for going out of your comfort zone and—"

"Stop—"

"—and dipping your little piggies in romantic waters—"

"Stop, I'm serious. And never call my toes 'little piggies'."

Benny cackled and ended his bout of laughter by brushing tears from his cheeks and sniffling. "Why am I crying more than you? What the fuck?"

"That's because I don't cry," Micah said.

"Liar," Benny said, and when Micah didn't budge, Benny said, "Well, you never cry in front of me at least! Bastard. Now of all times is the perfect opportunity."

"I'll remember that for when I never break up with someone again because this is never going to happen again. I've learned my lesson," Micah insisted.

"Uh-huh, and what lesson is that, Mr. Relationship Expert?"

"That I'm too old for this shit already," Micah said. "You can't teach old dogs new tricks, and no one wants a man who's fucked three hundred people."

"That's not true! Everyone wants a sex maniac."

"Yeah, until they have one," Micah insisted. He got up to root through Benny's liquor cabinet and, in the kitchen, he discovered that no one had touched his gin. Typical. He uncapped it. "Everyone wants the perfect sex life but they don't want the sex expert, apparently."

Benny leant into the counter, grinning. "The sexpert, if you will."

"I didn't hear that."

"The Sexpert."

"Lalala didn't hear that!"

As Micah was in the midst of pouring a shot glass full to the brim, his eyes caught on the stove. He'd never had an issue with their stove, but also, he rarely cooked.

He took the shot in one gulp and let it burn like raw pine needles down his throat. "Alistair said he wants to demo your kitchen?"

"You—You talked to him about that?" Benny said.

Micah found his stuttering bizarre for such a casual topic. "I mean, not in detail. I saw him at a party. Just before this."

"Oh. What party?"

"Dinner party. Why aren't you answering my question? Are you nervous about this place being a construction zone for me and Erika?" As soon as he said it, he watched the color drain from Benny's face in real time.

Shit, Micah thought, going in for another shot. As he tipped it back, he thought, Just invite yourself back in, why don'tchya?! At the very least, he had to ask Benny's permission to be included in the construction zone discussion.

It wasn't his place.

"Sorry," Micah said. "I'm not really living here right now. It's none of my business."

"It's, um—" Benny rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, breathing out shakily. "Oh, fuck, okay. Here's the thing—"

Micah was all ears. Glass abandoned, he stared as Benny, white as a ghost, tried to speak.

"Just spit it out," Micah said.

"Well, you know how insane my mortgage is," Benny said, "and I'm—I'm not asking you and Erika to pitch in or anything—"

"Why demo the kitchen if you don't have the money for it," Micah said.

"It's—It's not gonna be my kitchen when it gets renovated," Benny said through a grimace. He fidgeted with the front of his shirt. "Alistair's mortgage is cheaper, so he—we. We decided to... swap places after I graduate."

Micah couldn't believe what he was hearing. He didn't care about himself in that moment, his only thought was: "What about Erika? Does Erika know?"

"Yeah. She's already sort of living with Kennedy at this point," he said. He couldn't meet Micah's eye. "And I kinda want my own place when I get married, so—"

Benny's voice cut out, falling from an expression Micah hadn't seen on Benny's face since he first broke up with Hunter. Expression stretched tall and piqued with terror, Benny reached for Micah, saying, "Don't cry. Please don't cry—We've been trying to figure out a way to tell you."

I'm crying? Micah thought, but that much was obvious when something cool dripped from his chin and plinked on his coat like rain.

Benny's breath was rapid and shuddering on his trembling lips. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. Alistair already said he's fine with you living here. You don't have to move."

Micah was just catching up to the tears when hearing this derailed every thought in his head. He pulled himself from Benny's arms. Every memory and every pitstop Kennedy made with her texts with Alistair washed over in red.

He could barely see Benny through the tears. "I just spent. Five months. Being played by your brother. Having my life dissected by him. And you think I want to live with him?"

"M-Micah, I'm sorry," Benny cried, trying to hold onto him. It ended in a catfight, their hands slapping one another as Micah hurried past to his room. "I'm sorry! I don't know what you mean! Has he been stalking you or something? Talk to me, please—"

Married?! Was all Micah could think, toiling through everything Benny had said. Who graduates college with the idea of marriage in mind? With Hunter?! They weren't even engaged!

He turned sharply to Benny, eyes on his collarbone. Benny startled, stumbling, as Micah seized him by the shoulder. He hooked his thumb under the silver chain and, with overwhelming relief, saw that the ring was still there.

Benny caught the ring before Micah could grab it. "Don't touch it. I love you, man, but I'm not proposing to you."

"Why do you even want your own place anyway?" Micah said. "Are you planning to get married next year or something?"

"I don't know!" Benny said, voice cracking.

"Why are you in a rush?"

"What did Alistair do to you?" Benny demanded. Micah clamped his mouth shut. "You can't just say something like that and not expect me to be—be a little concerned. Is he stalking you?"

"No." He shook his head. His bedroom door was nothing but a mirage through the tears. He shoved his palms against his eyesockets and cried, voice wet and shaking, "It doesn't matter. I'm not living with him. You can't make me."

His voice shattered with a sob, which turned into a wail because Benny had started crying apologies. He couldn't explain to Benny how hurt he was that his best friend was prioritizing the potential for a marriage to Hunter over him, because he knew it sounded awful. It was awful.

He couldn't justify it, and so he cried, and let Benny hold him anyway.

Marriage was permanent. And if Benny married Hunter, Hunter would be there forever, always. Micah was perpetually nonpermanent, an unknown factor, a friend Benny could discard as he pleased.

They ended the night collecting their tears on Micah's pillows. Micah held Benny's head to his chest so neither of them would have to see just how swollen their eyes had gotten. His tissue box was nearly empty.

Benny settled his cheek on Micah's chest, allowing Micah to rest on his back and stare at the mirror without its gridlines. He'd left his mirror panels at Kennedy's place.

"I'll talk to Alistair," Benny said, shakily. "Push back moving out."

"Fuck. Don't change your plans because of me..."

"I—I'm realizing," Benny said, slowly. He sat up, but took longer to lift his eyes from Micah's chest. "That. I haven't been considerate of the fact that... I think you view friendships the way I view Hunter. Not romantically or anything."

Benny paused a moment to cry, voice gone. He brushed his hands over his eyes. "I didn't realize I was breaking your heart. I'd be really upset if Hunter dropped everything for someone else."

It felt like someone had shoved their fist up Micah's throat in a reverse knuckle-sandwich. He choked on it and couldn't believe he had more tears to shed. Benny collapsed on top of him, hugging him as he cried.

"Hunter doesn't have to come to the apartment anymore," Benny said, softly, to Micah's ear. He tucked his chin against Micah's shoulder and whispered everything Micah had wanted to hear the past two months. "I just want to live with you again for a little while longer."