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Not having rainy weather last night, the sky was clearer. I gazed up as I let the freshly polluted air of this city touch my face again. Nice, right?

Well, I spent my day—mostly—being marinated by air-conditioning. That. . . is a wrong choice of word. Work has been a very significant part of my life. It has always been. Sa bawat paggising ko, I always convince myself to love hard work because I know, somehow, it will bring me closer and closer to success. That is how it happens, right? Am I right? Or maybe. . . luck is real.

Kailey seems to just work easily. By easily, I meant chill. She didn't seem bothered most of the time. She didn't seem pressured by anything. It all felt and looked like life is a sea, and she is in a boat—a boat?—with a sail. And the wind is constantly, constantly blowing her off to the world's brightest and most fortunate places. But here I am, in a canoe, trying to paddle myself towards my dream. My success.

"Miss Glenn," ang biglang bati ng boses na pamilyar sa akin. "Hello po!" Jasmine. Lumingon ako para makita siya, at nandoon lang siya, sa likuran ko. Her hair, looking undamaged, in a neat ponytail. She looked like she was about to go home by walking, and she was pretty prepared. I admire her for being simple, I admitted to myself lowly, quite thankful that Preppy is exhausted. Especially now that I know that she was adopted by a wealthy family.

Napaisip tuloy ako kung naampon din ako ng isang pinagpalang pamilya. . . maabot ko kaya ang mga pangarap ko? I mean, ang pangarap ko lang naman ay makabili ako ng mga gugustuhin kong simpleng bagay. A life that Jasmine is—probably, yes—living. A life that Kailey is living. Also, Theodore.

No, I thought to myself, don't be fooled. Hindi 'yan ang totoo mong pangarap. I sighed, trying to clear most of my thoughts. What is happening to me? I shook my head subtly, as if it is a second-degree aid to my unhealthy thoughts. Ang totoong pangarap mo, Glenn, ay maibalik mo sa mga magulang mo ang mga sakripisyo nila sa'yo.

Plus, ang maging reporter.

I smiled as I felt my right consciousness coming back to its life. Hindi mo pangarap ang buhay nina Jasmine, Kailey, at Theodore.

Preppy, suddenly, jolted upright from slouching on a bubblegum pink couch in my mind. She said, That life is too easy for you. Duh, stronger people are meant to live a tougher life than some.

For the first time. She. Said. Something. Encouraging.

"Pauwi na rin po pala kayo," Jasmine said, looking up at the windows of our well lit building from down here. "Saan po ba ang bahay niyo, Miss Glenn?" Hindi ko pala siya napansin kanina. Oh, boy, nakakahiya.

"Ah. . . sa may Mandaluyong," I answered, feeling like my city wasn't familiar to my voice, and I was, like, tapping the ground to find the right thoughts to think about my. . . my city. "Ikaw ba? Saan kayo nakatira?"

"Malapit lang po," she smiled, mindlessly showing off her adorable dimples. I personally felt that she's a girl with big dreams and terrifying determination. But like what Preppy and my right consciousness said, she already got some of it, and she is living the easier life.

"Doon lang po," she added, her straightened hand pointing towards the left side of the road. "Nilalakad ko lang po, pero 'yong kuya ko po nakasasakyan. Mas malayo po rito 'yong trabaho nila ni Papa, e."

"Ni Papa mo?"

"Ah, opo," she nodded. "May-ari po si Papa ng kumpanya."

"Bakit hindi ka roon nagtrabaho?" I asked. "Don't get me wrong. Ano kasi, syempre."

"Ah, choice ko po 'yon," she giggled.

"Bakit naman?" I asked.

"Kasi po. . ." she said lowly, "gusto ko pa rin po ma-experience 'yong pagiging employee."

I gave her a questioning look and took it back.

"K-kasi po. . . since in-adopt naman nila ako, gusto ko po matutunan 'yong life lessons na mami-miss ko kapag nabuhay po akong kasama sila," Jasmine said.

"Parang 'yong dapat kong natututunan ngayon kung hindi po nila ako inampon, gusto ko pa rin po matutunan," she added. "May mga bad sides din po kasi akong nakita sa pamumuhay ng mayayaman. May ka-toxic-an pa rin po."

I nodded, letting it sink in. "Hindi ba parang impractical 'yong ginawa mo?" I asked, regretting my words.

"Sabi rin po ni Mama 'yon," she looked down. "Pero wala naman po kasi akong pakialam kung maliit ang sahod ko. Masaya naman po ako, at saka 'pag medyo tumanda na po ako siguro ako magsisimulang magtrabaho roon." She chuckled.

"Ah," I uttered. "Nice perspective." I smiled, and she looked at her wristwatch.

"Sige po, mauuna na ako," Jasmine said. "Ingat po sa pag-uwi!"

Jasmine waved and started walking away, her hands on both of the straps of her backpack. Nahiya tuloy ako dahil nang batiin niya ako ay hindi ko siya napansin. Dahil nakatulala ako. I was right, maybe, that she is a girl with big dreams. And terrifying determination.

Maybe, she is actually stronger than me, and she just got more luck in her pockets. 'Di pa nga lang niya siguro nakakapa at nahahawakan 'yon, kung sakali ngang nasa bulsa niya 'yon.

As Jasmine was striding away to go home, I heard the sound of a car approaching. Tumabi ako sa gilid nang ma-realize ko agad na ang kotseng tumigil sa harap ko ay pamilyar. But the car didn't have any special feature that would immediately catch your wandering eyes. It wasn't a brightly colored car either. It was plain black pa nga, e. Hindi mo rin maaalala na nakita mo na pala 'yon dati unless ilang oras pa lang ang nakakalipas. Unless ayaw mo sa taong nagmamay-ari no'n.

"Anak, ibibili mo kami ng kotse kapag mayaman ka na, ha?" Nalungkot ako nang maalala ko ang sinabi ni Mama sa akin dati. They love cars. I mean. . . who else doesn't except for me, right? Bakit naman kasi parang laging puro kotse ang basehan ng success?

"Oh, hi there," a manly voice said, making me look to my side, "Glenn."

There, he, the one I didn't want to see, stood. He already changed into stylish denims, which perfectly showed off his side of being a model. His athletic build was emphasized. And now, even with my healthiest lifestyle yet, I felt really, really unhealthy.

"Ikaw ulit?" I said, a bit shocked at what just came out of my mouth. I don't like Theodore pala. Him and his wealthy vibes. It was just then that I realized it.

"Oo, ako ulit," he quickly said. "And I'm here for Kailey."

"Yeah," I said.

Oh, come on, I thought, Preppy saying it—fortunately—with me in my head, I know that. Of course.

"I heard that you and Kailey were out last night," he chuckled. "You're a bit—just a little bit—competitive, aren't you?"

I wanted to roll my eyes, but Theodore's presence was respectable. Instead, I held my head a little down and said, "How did you know that Kailey and I—" Ugh. I hated how he could make me shrink into an insecure creature like the thought of good restaurants and eating alone could.

"Kailey refused to go out with me. She said that she'll be out with a friend," he said. "And that's impossible not to be you. Lalo na at nakita ko kung paano mo siya tingnan."

"Niyaya niya lang ho akong uminom," I said. "That's the first time. Share ko lang."

"Inom lang? Sure?" he asked, chuckling.

"Oho."

"Sige," he smiled. "Malalaman ko naman din ang totoo, e. Pero I'm not threatening you!" He raised his hands up, snorting.

From looking down on my moccasins to gazing up at Theodore's face, I nodded as I said, "Oh, okay." Right after that, I turned my back on him and decided to walk away. Kahit ako ay nagulat sa ginawa ko, but I knew I had a family waiting for me to go home to at the moment. And I choose them over his stupid questions.

"Woah, there," Theodore said, his manly hand slightly heavy on my shoulder. He gently pulled me back to turn around, making me face him again.

"Ano na naman?"

"You know. . ." he said, his fingers brushing his shaven chin. "You're an interesting rival. I will not scare you para layuan mo si Kailey. Actually, I want to be challenged because. . . this is different."

"Hindi nga kasi. . . ." I said, showing him that I was irritated through my voice. "Ang lakas ng trip mo, seriously."

I knew that Theodore would never listen to my denial, but he ignored my words because of something else. Nope, someone. Damn this dead bush and the dead color of his car.

Kailey stepped out of the building's exit, her pair of stilletos from her collection perfectly complementing her pastel dress. She walked towards Theodore, and her presence didn't fail to make his eyes land on her.

"May the best man win," Theodore whispered to me sideways. He said it again. And well, me? I. . . I just walked away. Away from this—ugh, let's just say. . . whatever.

---

"God bless you, anak," ang sabi ni Mama nang matapos akong magmano sa kanila ni Papa. "Musta naman ang araw?"

"Ayos lang naman po," I absentmindedly said as I slouched on our couch—old and flattened. Finally, I was already home. . . after that long traffic. "Maraming ginawa sa office, pero mas kaunti po ngayon kaysa sa kahapon. Hindi pa po katapusan pero—" I sighed exaggeratedly.

"Kayo po? Ano'ng nangyari rito?" I asked, moving on from the office thing.

Sinubukan kong titigan ang bagong biling ilaw sa kisame namin. Sana gano'n din kaliwanag ang future namin. Sana magkaroon na rin ako ng pagkakataong maibalik kina Mama at Papa ang pagpapaaral nila sa akin. That moment, I realized na nakakapagod din palang mangarap nang mangarap kapag hindi mo nakikita ang progress. I didn't think I was making progress, anyway.

But no, I told myself, you have to keep loving it. You need to. Stealthily, I glanced at Preppy in my head, like my brain is a concrete room, and she was just there, behaving with her hybrid image. I didn't know why, but I felt like all my anger for Preppy's annoying voice and words magically evacuated to Theodore's whole being. Yes, the whole being of that dead bush.

"Wala naman masyado, anak. Puro nood lang ng TV. Tapos ikot-ikot sa bahay, sa labas," ang sagot ni Mama habang nakakunot ang noo. Nakalimutan ko palang may itinanong ako sa kanila. "Kumain ka na ba?"

"Opo, Ma," I said, partly lying. Partly? I ate my dinner, which was a burger that I bought just earlier. I wasn't that full, but I did not wish to eat more. This day was more tiring than my usual weekdays, and my legs' muscles needed to relax. But not my eyes. Maybe it was because of Theodore and Kailey.

What? Ano'ng connect no'n sa kanila? Preppy, again, came back to life. Sana all 'di na pagod, I replied in my head, but hey, I was grateful that she became a bit tamed. Hindi na siya katapon-tapon mula sa rooftop ng isang building.

"Sige, anak," ang biglang sabi ni Papa. "Matulog ka nang maaga, ha? Aalis tayong tatlo bukas ni Mama."

Ngumiti na lang ako nang marinig ko 'yon. . . hindi naman dahil gusto ko nang ipikit ang mga mata ko habang lumilipat na ng kahon ang araw sa kalendaryo. Medyo matagal na kasi nang nakalabas kami nina Mama at Papa. Tuwing nagsisimba lang, at kung minsan, wala pa kaming perang panggala.

I missed going out with them, and I was sure that it would be fun.

"Good night," ang pahabol na sabi ni Mama nang tumayo na ako sa kinauupuan ko. I love her, really.

"Good night, Ma, Pa," I smiled and made a sleepy face. Well, I didn't really know if I was sleepy at that moment, but I just did.

And just when I was thinking that I wanted to just stay at home and forget about the—maybe—shallow issue that Theodore has with me and Kailey, it just crossed my mind before I could realize it.

"I love you!" ang pahabol ko kina Mama at Papa.

I grasped the doorknob and twisted it as I let out a sigh, a sigh that I wished to be efficient enough to carry confusion out of my system. Losing Peter wasn't something I did regret, but it just affected everything. Somehow, at a high degree. Kung hindi kami nag-break ni Peter, maybe Kailey would never have to prank him by that. . . whatever. But I didn't want him back. I mean. . . come on, that's ridiculous. Ew.

I tried to smile as I changed my clothes into my pajamas, and my thoughts still went through my head like a crazy pillage. No matter how much I wanted to get rid of those thoughts, I felt like a teenager with a lot of teenage problems.

Okay, that's really overreacting. This whole day is so not fun.

But I'm really irritated about how Theodore was thinking about me and Kailey as something else. Like, wala ka bang ibang magawa kundi manligaw at mag-suspect sa mga kaibigan ng nililigawan mo? What the hell.

But. . . Kailey. That's the thing. Kailey.

Do I. . . do I like her? Am I really a rival of Theodore? My ears were cupped with heat as soon as I remembered the night when Kailey kissed my forehead. Ano ba'ng nangyayari sa'yo, Glenn?

No, I firmly told myself and Preppy (even though I noticed that she didn't care much about what I was saying). Hindi ako kinikilig.

Kinikilig? I questioned myself, and I was quite curious and shocked about it. It was me, not Preppy, who was questioning my own thoughts. It was me.

Oh, boy, this is not good. I mean. . . Preppy isn't real. But. . . whatever.

I shook my head, and I was just hoping that tomorrow, the Saturday with my family would be really happy. That it would put work (and Kailey) off of my brain. Monday wouldn't be so near from now, so. . . maybe, I didn't have to worry about a lot of things.

Whatever. I'm just too excited for tomorrow and—I have to admit—too scared for next week.

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